He's an attractive cashier but he's more than just an attractive cashier. This attractive cashier personifies much of my struggle for the past 20 years.
I was told I couldn't serve in various areas of ministry, including the youth ministry and being around the younger children at the church.
We were always careful to keep appropriate, healthy boundaries even though we knew we were not sexually attracted to each other. I think we were just cautious of others gossiping if we appeared to be too close. Unfortunately, churches like ours are especially prone to gossip about SSA guys.
I hated the way I looked! I was a skinny, fearful, awkward, shy person who wished I could look good like the athletic, muscular, confident guys.
Somewhere around seventh grade, I told my family I hated swimming. The real reason was just too silly and shameful. I hated having to take off my shirt.
I got more involved in a small group as others would worship God. There was an amazing sense of community. I knew I was not alone in my Christian life!
I don't remember thinking of myself as gay. There was always something wrong with me, and I was beginning to see it.