marriage

When God's Peace is Hard to Find
When God’s Peace is Hard to Find
I don't feel like having peace. Peace won't give my family income. Peace won't solve the financial burdens of two massive ministries. Peace won't cure the coronavirus or bring back canceled jobs or put food on the table or anything. Peace won't do anything I want it to do right now. So, what good is it?
YOB ConvoCast 019: Tom & Dean Go Back to Pawnee!
Tom welcomes back Dean for a once-in-a-lifetime recap of the pandemic-prompted return of "Parks and Recreation." It’s literally all they talk about the entire episode, and it’s glorious.
YOB ConvoCast 016: Tom & Ben Met at an Irish Pub!
Tom welcomes Ben to the YOB airwaves for the first time to talk about pastoring a church during this coronavirus pandemic, including the digital challenges of having an older congregation. Ben also reveals what his wife thinks about YOB, and the guys recount their first meeting at an Irish pub during Revoice last year.
The Coronavirus Pandemic and the "Side B" Community's Special Role in the Church
The Coronavirus Pandemic and the "Side B" Community’s Special Role in the Church
Before all the lockdowns started as the coronavirus pandemic spread around the world, I started writing this reflection about how my experience in the "Side B" bubble could play a bigger part in the Church and, in turn, the wider world around me. When this whole pandemic broke out I thought, What better time to play our part but now?
Do I Still Pray the Gay Away?
Do I Still Pray the Gay Away?
When they hear I'm attracted to men but married to a woman, straight people, particularly Christians, sometimes ask if I expect my attractions to "change" in this life. For the longest time, I prayed for God to change my attractions. To make me straight. I do still pray about my sexuality, but I don't pray that God would change my attractions to heterosexual.
YOBcast 054: Holiday Singleness
It's an undoubtedly difficult season for many in our community, and we talk about singleness during the holidays: the disconnect, the loneliness, and the finding of hope and joy when hope and joy may feel so far away. Tom, Ryan, and Jacob share their stories of holidays past and present, answering some listener questions along the way, including the concept of spending the holidays with chosen family versus blood family, and whether we've ever been asked if we've found that "special lady" yet.
Coming Out and Confessing to My Pastor
Coming Out and Confessing to My Pastor
He was sitting there waiting for me, like usual. My pastor asked if I was okay, though he knew I wasn't. He could tell I was an emotional wreck, that I needed to get some stuff off my chest. I felt numb, this deep despair inside me, like all my energy had escaped me. I only had enough to meet with him on this particular day.
Thanksgiving is the Worst! And Also Yearlong.
Thanksgiving is the Worst! And Also Yearlong.
It's another edition of the Manly Monthly! Our recap of the month that was at Your Other Brothers and a dive into gratitude during what can be a hard holiday season. Also Tom waters his new plants and fights a wasp!
Do I Like Physical Touch Now?
Do I Like Physical Touch Now?
I'm feeling an ache from an empty space in my life. The ache seems to be crying out for something I haven't felt much desire in — well, forever? I'm feeling a longing for affectionate, brotherly touch from another guy: a hug, an arm around the shoulder, a tight embrace, an encouraging pat on the back, a caring hand on my neck. And I have no idea why.
The Day I Came Out to My Wife
The Day I Came Out to My Wife
And so, as we walked through a local park, barely past our first month of dating, I told her about my same-sex attraction. I told her of my failed dating history, that I wasn't sure I could be attracted to women, that most men who were SSA, despite years of prayer and trying to make things work, would not be attracted to women and that my SSA would possibly never go away.
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