All these ups and downs often caused me emotional pain. I had to take risks rather than stay safe and comfortable. My SSA made me feel weak and ineffective around all these straight guys. These painful things tested my friendship with James, too.
I've reached the end of myself many times, and even just admitting that is incredibly difficult. Heartbreak, betrayal, loneliness, and fear -- all related to my sexuality -- have shaken me to my very core and brought me to the end of myself.
I couldn't be like these people. They seemed like the antithesis of everything I stood for. Finding out that the Bible forbade homosexual sex only fueled my self-righteous anger. To assert my masculinity and avoid being labeled gay at all costs, I joined my other straight male classmates in mocking gay people.
A straight and very strong "alpha male" type leader has constantly challenged me to go beyond what is safe and comfortable to accomplish more of what really matters. We started becoming close friends, so I shared with him that I deal with same-sex attraction.
Today, we're excited to introduce our brand new web series: MANLY MONDAY! Join me in this biweekly (bimonthly?) video series for storytime, Scripture reading, and calls to growth for the week ahead. You'll also get a little "state of the YOB" with highlights from recent comments, podcasts, emails, and more. We hope Manly Monday is a fun, informative, and challenging way to start our weeks here every other Monday. Thanks to our faithful patrons for making this new video series possible! As of this premiere episode, we currently have 125 patrons funding Your Other Brothers each month -- totally covering our yearly maintenance expenses while also enabling us the resources and time to tell even more dynamic stories and challenge further growth in this community. THANK YOU, YOBBERS. If you believe in what we're doing at YOB, consider becoming a patron today! All information is on our Patreon page. We...
At times, it's been emotionally and even physically painful to be this alpha male's friend. But also enormously rewarding and well worth it! I refer to James as an "alpha male" because he is a natural leader who many others, especially straight men, gladly follow.
The shame over my SSA made me feel that I was something evil, repulsive, and unlovable. My loneliness and lack of friends seemed to prove it.
I never sought out pornography; it found me. With technology these days, it was practically inevitable. It all started with soft-core pornography.
The other guys told me about the Korean spa and how those experiences helped them. This sounded like something right down my alley.
I am not interested in a new machismo, finding a new way to be a man, a new way of determining what a real man is and isn’t.