Is it really acceptable for men to cry? American culture has told me and countless other boys and young men that crying is not manly.
I realized something while mowing my lawn: I was the only one pitying myself. The only person doubting my masculinity was me.
He's an attractive cashier but he's more than just an attractive cashier. This attractive cashier personifies much of my struggle for the past 20 years.
And then my wife came up the stairs and saw me in my deplorable state. I was attempting to fix the bathtub plumbing. And losing.
"How could you take a bath?" The question seemed ludicrous to me. I walked a lot that day. I was tired. My legs were sore. The bath was hot. This guy is a genuinely nice guy who loves God. But he's bought into a delusional sense of masculinity based more on actions than identity.
If I strictly fly the flag of my sexuality, I view the world solely through my attractions. I see everything in life as related to homosexuality.
I love sports and competition. I love the push, the struggle, the fight toward victory. I love how my chest burns when I'm on the brink of exhaustion.
I bought a house. I'm officially living IN the city! I've had a roommate since day one. He's a great friend and brother in Christ.
I did not have heroes growing up. Many little boys look up to their father or older brothers. I didn't have a clear definition of what a hero should be.
I had no idea how desperately I'd needed some guy — even some unknowable guy on the Internet — to tell me that I'm awesome.