Jesse of the great City of Oaks returns to discuss his sexuality as someone on the asexual (ace) spectrum, identifying as demisexual: someone who only develops sexual feelings when a strong emotional bond is also present. He goes into the difficulties of growing up different in a sexually charged culture, as well as the blessings of being a source of safety with his guy friends.
I found myself getting sucked into a world of fantasy. Porn was way better than watching some blockbuster: I could still be with guys without actually being with them. After all, I never cared about those guys anyway. It was all about me and getting off. The more I watched porn, the more I was hooked.
I'm not sure the "vulnerability hangover" has ever hit me as strongly with a blog as it did that one. It's been one thing to confess I'm attracted to men as a sort of "blanket confession" for all the world to see; it's another to invite people into the specific workings of my sexuality. Particularly with something as personal and hardly-talked-about as masturbation.
Here's one vocabulary term I've taken away from therapy: euphoric recall. I'd never heard that phrase until last year, and it gives language to this nebulous internal struggle I've faced since my first bout with pornography at 19.
Is masturbation sinful? What if it's done without lusting? Is masturbation "solo-sex" or "self-sex," and does it breech God's design for sexuality? What does the Bible have to say, if anything, about masturbation? Masturbation isn't an oft discussed topic in Christian circles, with many folks describing their childhood discovery of masturbation as if they had been the first ones ever to discover such a secret bodily pleasure. As a result of this secrecy, masturbation has produced a lot of shame for men and women. Regardless where you land on this issue, we want to break down this shame.
Whatever the reason, this is where I find myself: apathetic toward the Church, God, and disciplines like reading Scripture and prayer. I'm not angry at the Church -- just apathetic. And in that apathy I feel ordinarily strong convictions weaken.
I've pretty much always been attracted to guys in one manner or another. Some times more obsessively and explicitly than others. Some times more emotionally than physically. And for whatever reason, never sexually.
"God has placed us together for a specific reason — that the times, stories, and experiences we share are beneficial for each other," she said. This led to discussion about how community requires vulnerability. Even with a wide open invitation, I remained a silent listener in the community.
It's our monthly roundup of all the content we created this month with Your Other Brothers! Special thanks to our thoughtful viewer who sent in a new crate of matches! Here's to thousands more "State of the YOBs" and "Manly Mondays."
Intimacy is scary, and intimacy is vulnerable. Intimacy can be shared or rejected. Intimacy is special and sacred, and intimacy is everyday. Intimacy is sexual and emotional, physical and spiritual. Join Tom, Ryan, and Jacob in the first of a two-part deep dive into intimacy. The brothers define intimacy, likening it to a fire, discussing the differences and nuances between intimacy and vulnerability. They also talk about their first forays into intimacy many years ago and what the cornerstone of their most intimate relationships has been.