After the funeral, I felt almost paralyzed. I just couldn't force myself to lead at the house. James needed me to lead and be a help to him, so he confronted me on being too passive. I admitted he was right, but I felt unable to get beyond my emotions and lead others. Things degenerated until James and I barely talked.
He was never physically affectionate; we’d never even hugged. I wanted to touch him not out of a sexual desire but from a longing to connect with him as love with a brother. I dreamed of a day when we could embrace and confess our brotherly love for each other. I put my hand on his shoulder once. He brushed it off.
Once I had exhausted my words and my voice, he stepped right in and began pouring out every bit of encouragement he could think of. He kept his arm around me and continued to encourage me. It was as though I'd crumbled right in front of my best friend as he carefully helped build me back up.
A straight and very strong "alpha male" type leader has constantly challenged me to go beyond what is safe and comfortable to accomplish more of what really matters. We started becoming close friends, so I shared with him that I deal with same-sex attraction.
I've cuddled with many fantastic men, all same-sex attracted. I can say with absolute certainty that these moments have been some of the most beautiful, moving, and totally platonic expressions of intimate love. I'd recommend reading these basic pointers based on my own past experiences with bro cuddling.
Most of these cuddling experiences transcend the physical and begin to feel more spiritual. We aren’t just touching bodies; we’re touching souls.
I felt comforted. Assured. Confident. My pastor's hand on my shoulder gave me a shot of strength.
I've written before about having never been kissed. But that doesn't mean someone's never tried to kiss me.
Not all guys feel comfortable hugging another guy. So, when should I hug another guy, a male friend? The answer is different for each friend!
He reached for my hand and held it. It was the first time another guy had ever held my hand. His boldness caught me off-guard, and his touch sent energy rushes all over. I'd never felt this before: holding hands with another man. In public, no less.