It's another edition of the Manly Monthly! Our recap of the month that was at Your Other Brothers and a dive into gratitude during what can be a hard holiday season. Also Tom waters his new plants and fights a wasp!
I usually head to porn when I'm stressed, anxious, confused, tired. My counselor once asked me if I go to porn to feel power, to be in control. My first response was no — I don't feel powerful at all when I seek out porn. I feel weak and helpless. But maybe there is a control aspect to my porn usage.
Did I want to be in leadership, or did that role need to be filled? I felt inadequate. To lead. To be an example. To show my non-Christian roommates Jesus and love. To be a good friend.
This Lent, I'm giving up masturbation. And I realize that might sound really wrong or off or like I clearly didn't grow up in a liturgical tradition and have no idea how this Lent thing even works. But regardless. I'm doing it. I'm not masturbating for the next few weeks. It may not quite be a "fast" by technical, theological terms. But it's a necessary refocusing.
I'm a sensitive man who feels things, feels things all the time, and no amount of oversleeping or overdrinking or pornography or promiscuity will turn me off.
I hadn't wanted orientation change out of a desire to please God. I'd wanted to be straight because I simply wanted to be normal. I had been scared. I was internally homophobic, hating myself and especially other gay men.
How do men experience body image compared to women? On a physical level and an emotional level, what does it mean to possess a healthy male body image? And how do our sexualities tie into our body image? Join Tom, Ryan, and first-timer Jacob for a discussion on insecurities about body shapes, friendship desirability, penis size, balding, and our innate sense of masculinity.
How have our culture and we ourselves understood and expressed issues of sexuality across the generations? Join Tom, Ryan, and Marshall for a conversation on these varying generational perspectives: Tom and Ryan as millennials and Marshall as a baby boomer. We discuss how the generations have addressed sexuality and "coming out" over the decades, accessibility to pornography and promiscuous outlets, the "gay" identity and male-on-male cuddling, and the biggest thing in culture we'd like to see change with the next generation.
MANLY MONDAY returns after a month's hiatus! Join me as I tackle the question (that used to be) on everybody's (or a vocal few's) minds (or not).
Same-sex attraction is not the only thing. It's not the only struggle. And I can't tell you the freedom I experienced when I realized homosexuality was actually not even close to the top of my human struggle pyramid.