shame

When Body Image Meets the Reality of Aging
When Body Image Meets the Reality of Aging
Ah, body image. I suspect nearly all of us wrestle with it in some form or another, and in different ways – whether we’re gay/same-sex attracted or straight. These days for me, that wrestling with body image is around aging.
That Time Another Side B Guy Sexted Me on Facebook Messenger
You know, after fifteen years of blogging about gay things and masculine things and all the other intermingled, messy faith things, I often feel like I've run out of stories to tell here. Gay kisses, wet dreams, fetishes – what on earth is there left to say?? Ah, but then I wake up one day and suddenly remember that time another "Side B" guy from a Facebook group asked if he could do something to my genitals. Ah, yes – a new story to tell. Glory be.
My Gay Secret Led Me to Becoming an Other Brother
My Gay Secret Led Me to Becoming an Other Brother
I spent most of my twenties trying my best to be straight. I dated women and watched ESPN and prayed and prayed for the gay to go away. I don't suppose there was anything wrong with all that. But at some point I had to acknowledge the reality that God doesn't always remove challenges. He always works through them, though.
YOB ConvoCast 064: Marshall Prefers Not to Sexually Identify as Anything
YOB ConvoCast 064: Marshall Prefers Not to Sexually Identify as Anything
Marshall joins us as another "OG" contributor and cofounder of YOB to share his perspective on sexuality, why he doesn’t identify as gay or SSA despite only experiencing attraction for men. He also discusses a marriage conversation he once had with a woman he dated. He shares the time of his life that presented his greatest struggles with gay temptation, as well as the thing that’s brought him the most joy in his sexuality.
To Be in Hiding No Longer
To Be in Hiding No Longer
I was so afraid of what people thought of me that I was willing to hide who I was from family, friends, the world – and to some degree, myself. I was willing to live a life of lies to be accepted. I explained that's just how things were back then. Sadly, some people are still living this way.
A "Side B Manifesto" for Pride Month and Beyond
A “Side B Manifesto” for Pride Month and Beyond
I've thought a lot about writing a manifesto for Side B people. In fact, I've written multiple drafts of a manifesto for a few years now, but I've never been satisfied with the result. In the end, I figured I should get one of those drafts out there, so that people can imagine what Side B Gay people are advocating for. So, here it is...an incomplete rough draft of the Side B Manifesto.
The Gift of Your Other Brothers
The Gift of Love in Your Other Brothers
YOB gave me hope, because even though I was 55 years old I had struggled accepting myself since my teen years. I had never seen myself as anything but subhuman, unworthy, and a complete reprobate because I had feelings and desires for other men.
Your Other Brothers Podcast | 107: Discipleship
YOBcast 107: Discipleship
We conclude our 7-values series by exploring our other "ship" of discipleship! How do we define this spiritual term? Is discipleship meant only for our own growth, or is our discipleship also for the people around us? How organized or structured must discipleship of believers look? And how have we felt disqualified from discipling others in their walks with Jesus because of our sexuality?
Why I'm Not Giving Up Masturbation for Lent
Why I’m Not Giving Up Masturbation for Lent
I'm not sure the "vulnerability hangover" has ever hit me as strongly with a blog as it did that one. It's been one thing to confess I'm attracted to men as a sort of "blanket confession" for all the world to see; it's another to invite people into the specific workings of my sexuality. Particularly with something as personal and hardly-talked-about as masturbation.
Your Other Brothers Podcast | 104: Vulnerability
YOBcast 104: Vulnerability
Vulnerability is uncomfortable, even scary, so why do we value it so highly in our community? Sharing our story, including our sexuality, may have once felt like the most daunting or impossible task. And yet what would have been the cost to our lives had we not been vulnerable? What if we had stayed silent, closeted, cut off from such a significant aspect of ourselves with ourselves, God, and other people? Indeed, what if vulnerability that feels like weakness is actually strength – especially when practiced in a community?
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