With most of the U.S. and much of the world in quarantine or shelter-in-place due to COVID-19, we gathered our featured authors for a conversation on the challenges and calls to growth through these strange times. We hope you feel a little less alone in joining our conversation.
Before all the lockdowns started as the coronavirus pandemic spread around the world, I started writing this reflection about how my experience in the "Side B" bubble could play a bigger part in the Church and, in turn, the wider world around me. When this whole pandemic broke out I thought, What better time to play our part but now?
To many Christians, I am a burden. I have strong faith convictions, and I try to live according to those convictions. I love studying the Bible and find joy in my faith. I also give up a lot. Living the celibate life is not easy at times. But all too often the burden of this celibate gay/SSA life is only increased by the church.
If there's one thing that stands out about me, it's intentional community. As a single Christian guy with same-sex attraction, I find that I fight against sexual temptations much more effectively when living with other guys. I am much happier, too! But how does living with other guys work with all the potential problems?
It's an undoubtedly difficult season for many in our community, and we talk about singleness during the holidays: the disconnect, the loneliness, and the finding of hope and joy when hope and joy may feel so far away. Tom, Ryan, and Jacob share their stories of holidays past and present, answering some listener questions along the way, including the concept of spending the holidays with chosen family versus blood family, and whether we've ever been asked if we've found that "special lady" yet.
Joshua Harris pastored my church for over ten years. To our surprise, he recently announced he is divorcing his wife and and that he is no longer a Christian! Additionally, he has adopted a "Side A" gay-affirming belief. Despite all this drama and the church's many other issues, this place has been of some help to guys dealing with same-sex attraction.
I believe what Scripture says regarding a traditional sexual ethic. But more than that, I believe in the God behind that ethic and that his Word is still good for me, even if it's not always easy to follow.
Many men dealing with same-sex attraction have told stories of being coldly rejected, while men who struggle with heterosexual sins are given compassion and support. My church, however, has actually helped me follow Jesus Christ, allowing me to be happy while fighting homosexual temptations.
Many SSA/LGBT+ people struggle to find inclusion in the church — a safe place at least, and a nurturing place at best. This episode, we bring a very special guest onto the show. His name is Matt, who among other claims to fame (which we waste little time diving into), also pastors at Ryan's church and oversees Ryan's ministry to non-straight people, Intersect. We dive into their ministry relationship and overarching friendship, also discussing with Dean issues of sexuality, singleness, safety, and nurture of sexual minorities in the church.
A same-sex celibate partnership is an intimate coupling between two same-sex attracted or gay-identifying individuals. Bonded for life in a way similar to marriage but, of course, minus the sex. I have already seen a few celibate couplings form between guys. I've been mostly watching from a distance, but other times I've contacted those folks to ask questions. Sometimes I view them with a lot of envy.