There was a split in who I thought I was and who I was thought to be. I fought to be straight and prove to everyone nothing is wrong with me. I'm normal.
I told my best friend that I had literally just come from gay sex in another man's bed. I'd found him on the Internet, then regretted it. I needed support.
Our blogging brothers, Sam and Dean, meet up to talk pop culture, the color pink, and the complicating world of masculine stereotypes.
Sexaholics Anonymous fits perfectly into my life now. It doesn't matter who you are or where you come from, only that you have a desire to stop lusting.
So often I lament my lifelong disconnect from the male species and my own innate lack of manhood, I tend to neglect or even forget the numerous times I have felt like a man.
I hated the way I looked! I was a skinny, fearful, awkward, shy person who wished I could look good like the athletic, muscular, confident guys.
I'd had enough of life with only these types of strong male friendships while the other types of male friendships went severely lacking. Couldn't I just have "normal" heterosexual guy friends?