28 March 2023|
by MichaelWhy I Don’t Celebrate Easter
by MichaelWhy I Don’t Celebrate EasterLike most of you reading I begged, cried, yelled, and tried to "pray the gay away," only to have it all go ignored. For years I thought God ignored me. And if He didn't care about me, why should I acknowledge Him and His Son?
2 Comment(s)
8 March 2023| by MichaelThe Beginning of a 29-Year Sexual Denial
by MichaelThe Beginning of a 29-Year Sexual DenialI had sex for the first time on May 3, 1979. Funny how you always remember your first. It was with my sister's best friend. I was 17; she was 16. Everyone in the neighborhood swore we were already having sex, but we weren't. I really wasn't interested in her or any other girl for that matter; even if I was, I wouldn't have known what to do anyway.
1 February 2023| by MichaelHow Can I Believe People Truly Love Me?
by MichaelHow Can I Believe People Truly Love Me?All I wanted was to live a fantasy every weekend: to believe that some man wanted me. That he loved me just so I could take my mind off all the negative things I felt about myself. After 29 years of living that life and never once finding happiness or love, God in His own way brought me back to Him and the church. However, I also started experiencing added health issues.
6 October 2022| by MichaelWhat Would You Do if Your Dad Came Out to You?
by MichaelWhat Would You Do if Your Dad Came Out to You?How many of us have decided not to come out to our fathers because we knew it wouldn't go well? How many have been wrestling with the idea of telling our fathers for fear of the unknown? And how many of us have already come out to our fathers, a topic never again spoken about?
8 September 2022| by MichaelThe First Relationship I Didn’t Know I Wanted
by MichaelThe First Relationship I Didn’t Know I WantedAll the other gay films I'd watched were nice, but this was the first gay film I watched and thought: I wish I knew what it was like to be in a relationship. All the other men I've ended up with were only about sex. I didn't care about them or their feelings, much like the son at the beginning of this film. This film brought up feelings I never knew I even had or wanted, for that matter.
28 July 2022| by MichaelOne Day You’ll Actually See Me, Mom
by MichaelOne Day You’ll Actually See Me, MomMy mom didn't start saying she loved me until she became a Christian in the early 80's. Now she says it almost every day, and I feel like she's doing it to make up for all those lost years. As far as I'm concerned, those "I love you's" are empty because she's been saying it to the straight Michael she's always preferred instead of the Michael actually in front of her. And because of that, I've learned to tolerate her acknowledged denial of my life.
22 June 2022| by MichaelSearching for Pride in My Life
by MichaelSearching for Pride in My LifeI spent nearly three decades of my life sexually involved with other guys, and even longer than that attracted to them, and in all that time I never once considered Pride Month or attending any Pride parades or events. Part of that thinking is because I was raised in the South in the 60's and 70's, and in the Black community particularly acting like a homosexual was strictly taboo.
4 March 2022| by MichaelCast Out of the Church for Being Gay
by MichaelCast Out of the Church for Being GayI threw every Bible I owned into a dumpster and decided to embrace a gay life even more than I had done previously. For four years, I had sex with as many guys as I could and didn't care. In my mind, since God and the church didn't care about me, why should I?
8 December 2021| by MichaelImprisoned for Being Gay
by MichaelImprisoned for Being GaySometimes you just have to be honest with yourself about who you are. After another year and a half in Germany, I woke up one morning, walked down to my first sergeant's office, and told him I was gay – that I didn't want to be in the Army anymore. My colonel had to sign off on that paperwork; he refused. And I was arrested. The Army rushed the investigation, and I was court-martialed.