BLOG ARCHIVE

We generally blog once or twice weekly. Check back regularly for new posts, or dive into our archive!

  • YOB on Summer Break!
    YOB on Summer Break!
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    It's the YOB days of summer, as they say. Normally we don't hold summer retreats, but 2020 (and 2021) have been anything but normal years. As such, because of our repeatedly rescheduled retreat next month, YOB will be taking a little summer
  • Rethinking Nudity and Cuddling with Other Men
    Rethinking Nudity and Cuddling with Other Men
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    It's now been three to four years since I've written those blogs on cuddling and nudity, and I've shared many cuddles since with guys I've met through YOB. But have any of my thoughts changed since I wrote those
  • To Where Do I Turn in the Church?
    To Where Do I Turn in the Church?
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    There is no one group that is "for" my existence as a celibate SSA Christian, nor is there a specific group "against" it. It can feel like I have no clear place to turn to in the Church, because every place is equally likely to attack some part of who I am or what I do. Meanwhile, all I strive to be is a sold out follower of
  • Internalized Homophobia Returns: Coming Out to My Church Team Leader
    Internalized Homophobia Returns: Coming Out to My Church Team Leader
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    Something came crashing into my mind when Peter asked me to be a team leader at church: a stream of familiar feelings, similar to the ones I felt the first time I had to come out. They were feelings of inadequacy; the line of thinking that I was in a somewhat state of sinfulness that compelled me to
  • Where Are My Celibate Straight Friends?
    Where Are My Celibate Straight Friends?
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    It seems the only celibate communities forming are only by fellow "Side B" gay Christians, done so out of necessity. That really bothers me. Don't misunderstand me: it is good for celibate gay Christians to form communities. What bothers me, though, is that those communities should have already been started by celibate straight
  • The First Guy Who Ever Crossed Physical Boundaries With Me
    The First Guy Who Ever Crossed Physical Boundaries With Me
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    Somewhere in the night, the role reversal from cuddling with Brandon completed itself. Lines got blurred and then definitively crossed. It wasn't sexual touch, but it was inappropriate touch. It wasn't welcomed or invited. Brett didn't ask; he just did. He took. Just as I took from Brandon, Brett took from me. And passive, conflict-avoidant me felt crippled to say a word against
  • How the Lord Is (Somehow) Healing My Marriage
    How the Lord Is (Somehow) Healing My Marriage
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    I thought my first stories of marriage would be easy ones to tell. I thought I would say, "Hey, it all worked out! Everything's great! Praise God!" Instead, I felt a deeper pain than I'd ever felt. Until Jesus changed me, and my mourning turned to dancing. My brothers, I wish I had different words to tell you. I wish I could promise you healing without heartache, but it is not the story of healing I have to
  • To My Pastor: A Template to Help You Come Out to Church Leadership
    To My Pastor: A Template to Help You Come Out to Church Leadership
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    The decision to come out (or not) is very personal. There exist many different methods of coming out, and our blog has already covered some of them. What follows is a template to give you a potential starting point for conversation with anyone in your church leadership. I write this as one who has had both positive and negative experiences coming out to church leadership. This template is designed in such a way that it could be left anonymously in a leader's mailbox to get him or her thinking, or as a conversation starter if you trust someone is ready to engage with you
  • Can Christians Celebrate Pride Month?
    How Can the Church Do Better With Singleness?
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    After experiencing similar frustrations with how churches often treat single people, gay or straight, Kevin and Adrian sat down for an honest conversation about their singleness experiences in the church and how the church can be better and move
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