BLOG ARCHIVE

We generally blog once or twice weekly. Check back regularly for new posts, or dive into our archive!

  • Coming Out to My Parents as a Teenager
    Coming Out to My Parents as a Teenager
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    A few days prior, I had sent my dad an email explaining that I was gay. I can't remember what all I said or how I said it, but looking back, that probably wasn't the best way to go about it. I was just too afraid to bring it up face to face; an email was easy to send. Hitting send on that coming out email to my dad felt like being pushed out of a plane: there was no turning back, and the parachute better well
  • When I Get Lost in My Loneliness
    When I Get Lost in My Loneliness
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    Well, 2020 happened. And in this "unprecedented" year, a more personal disease revealed itself in me. Like Nouwen wrote, despite my being around people during a pandemic, I faced loneliness. My tendency to isolate combined with an actual, physical inability to connect with others made me look deeper into the why of my
  • Seeing Myself in the Secret of Crossdressing in "Ed Wood"
    Seeing Myself in the Secret of Crossdressing in “Ed Wood”
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    My teenage self saw a lot of me in Ed Wood. I may not have ever wanted to crossdress, but I still held my own big secret with homosexuality. I identified with this concept of struggling with a secret which society considers
  • To My Significant Other: A Template to Help You Come Out to Her
    To My Significant Other: A Template to Help You Come Out to Her
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    I am attracted to other men. At this point, you might be shocked, scared, angry, or confused. Please allow me to affirm a few truths before I continue. I love Jesus, I believe in a traditional/biblical sexual ethic, and I am pursuing holiness before the Lord in my sexuality. I love you and want to walk well with you. I want you to know this about me so you can see me, love me, and walk well with me, and so I am not holding back pieces of my life from
  • The Danger of Modesty Talks for Men and Women
    The Danger of Modesty Talks for Men and Women
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    In both youth groups and camp ministry, I received the modesty talk on countless occasions. They all had the same basic outline. Our bodies are a temple; we need to keep the temple pure. Anything sexual outside of marriage will dirty the temple. Men are lustful and visual creatures. Women are not as visual and do not deal with lust. I accepted this teaching wholesale. I knew that I was visual, saw my sexuality as a dirty thing, and kept on trying to fight back lust. But I began to notice some problems with modesty
  • Support YOB with Our New STORE!
    Support YOB with Our New STORE!
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    After 5+ years, we've finally launched a YOB store! Check out our "You Are Not Alone" diner mug, along with YOB stickers, a magnet, and Tom's first book. With more items to
  • This Yearning for Men
    This Yearning for Men
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    We yearn for men. We yearn for specific men. We yearn for abstract, unspecified men. We yearn for men in general. We yearn for men to yearn for other men. Sometimes we yearn for men's bodies, sometimes for their hearts, sometimes for their souls. We yearn for brothers. We yearn for boyfriends or husbands. Some of us yearn for fathers, some of us yearn for sons. We yearn to encounter, to access, and to drink deeply of the raw, earthy-sweet, intoxicating, powerful substance of masculinity. To be welcomed into it, to be wanted into
  • The First Guy I Ever Slept With
    The First Guy I Ever Slept With
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    Before visiting him, I can't remember our ever talking about what would happen at night. Cody had a bunkbed in his room, even though he lived alone. The top bunk was made for me when I arrived, but I didn't sleep in it once. It just
  • New Year, New Direction: My "See You Later" for YOB
    New Year, New Direction: My “See You Later” for YOB
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    As incredibly difficult as 2020 was and as much as I still feel inept with many of the fruits (looking at you, gentleness and self-control), I have grown more in 2020 than any year before. Now, as we have entered 2021, life is still taking twists and turns like never before. This coming year will hold new adventures, new hurts, and new lessons yet to unfold. However, one place I will not be continuing these adventures, for now, is here. On Your Other