About Me

Chronic wanderer, melancholic delighter in the what-comes-next. I'm the cofounder and editor for YOB, and I also host the YOBcast twice a month. In 2013, I wrote my first book, Struggle Central, a collection of my messy memoirs; in 2017, I wrote my second book, Running To, a collection of travel memoirs sprinkled with the messy. I first started fleshing out my story of faith and same-sex attraction in 2008 on Xanga under the username "Two Beckonings." I'm an INFJ, Enneagram Type 4 -- which basically means I'm emotional and creative and yearn for that which I cannot have. But I firmly believe anticipation is the purest form of pleasure, so I deal. I've lived in Pennsylvania, Georgia, California, and North Carolina, working with youth in tutoring, summer camps, wilderness therapy, and a therapeutic boarding school. I now work full-time with YOB, editing blogs, hosting podcasts, and creating video content that connects and inspires. My favorite place is the one where coffee and vulnerability meet, and I never tire of hearing from folks who find our site and realize they're not alone in their journeys with faith and sexuality. Feel free to reach out if we've never connected; I'd love to hear from you. tom@yourotherbrothers.com

YOBcast Episode 024: Temptation
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YOBcast Episode 024: Temptation

What triggers us and how do we reckon with temptation? What’s the difference between a trigger and a temptation, and how do we face temptation during moments of weakness and vulnerability? Tom and Elliott welcome Bradley and Matt for a vulnerable conversation on triggers and temptation. We dive into the HALT acronym (hungry, angry, lonely, […]

I Only Watch Soft-Core Pornography
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I Only Watch Soft-Core Pornography

I never sought out pornography; it found me. With technology these days, it was practically inevitable. Even in 2006. It all started with soft-core pornography; it all ends there, too. I talked about my porn habits in our latest YOBcast episode, and I wanted to dive deeper into my pornography origin story. Particularly my fixation […]

YOBcast Episode 023: Pornography
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YOBcast Episode 023: Pornography

What is pornography? How early did we discover pornography, how has it evolved over the generations, and how do we combat it? Tom and Elliott welcome back Marshall for a long overdue conversation on pornography — particularly gay pornography. We discuss the definition of the term, our first exposures to pornography, and what we do […]

YOBcast Rehash: Support Groups
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YOBcast Rehash: Support Groups

Tom and Elliott return for a video rehash of our support groups podcast! Join Tom and Elliott as we walk down a city street filled with old churches for shenanigans and feedback from our recent episode. Thanks again to YOBBER Ryan for appearing on the show! Check out the comments on our podcast episode page, and don’t […]

YOBcast Episode 022: Living Together
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YOBcast Episode 022: Living Together

Can same-sex attracted guys live together? Is there ever any physical/sexual temptation? Aren’t there at least heavy emotional issues living in the same house? Tom, Elliott, and Bradley gather to discuss one of our most often asked questions: how do you three SSA guys live together in the same house? It’s an enlightening hour of […]

YOBcast Rehash: Manliness
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YOBcast Rehash: Manliness

Tom and Elliott return for a rehash of our manliness podcast episode! It was our most critical episode yet, and we dive into some of the criticism. Check out the comments on our podcast episode page, and don’t forget to comment on future episodes for the chance to appear in a YOBcast Rehash video! You can […]

YOBcast Rehash: 1-Year Podcast Anniversary
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YOBcast Rehash: 1-Year Podcast Anniversary

Welcome to another episode of the YOBcast Rehash! In this episode, Tom and Elliott roam the grounds of a golf course to answer questions and respond to feedback from our 1-Year Podcast Anniversary episode of the YOBcast. The biggest question: pushing that big red button to reset our sexuality. We had a lot of fascinating […]

YOBcast Episode 021: Support Groups
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YOBcast Episode 021: Support Groups

Do support groups work? What support groups meet our needs and which ones leave us in longing? What role can men with SSA have in the Church? In this episode, we welcome a very special guest: Ryan, a faithful Patreon supporter of the last year. He joins Tom, Elliott, and Bradley for a discussion on […]

YOBcast Episode 020: Manliness
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YOBcast Episode 020: Manliness

What is manliness? Who modeled manliness for us? Is there a one-size-fits-all model for manliness in today’s culture? As always, we thank our faithful Patreon supporters. This episode — and every episode — would not be possible without you. You fuel our show with comments, questions, and fantastic perspectives. Thank you, YOBBERS! If you love […]

YOBcast Rehash: Sports
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YOBcast Rehash: Sports

Join Tom and Elliott on our second episode of the YOBcast Rehash! Click here if you missed our premiere episode on gay perceptions. In this episode, we rehash some feedback from our sports podcast episode — while walking through a babbling brook, no less! And don’t worry: we talk about that name that some people […]