About The Author

Thomas Mark Zuniga

Chronic wanderer and melancholic delighter in the what-comes-next. I'm YOB's cofounder and editor, and I also host our podcast. I've written a couple books and first started fleshing out my story of faith and same-sex attraction years ago under the Xanga username "Two Beckonings." I'm an INFJ, Enneagram Type 4, and my favorite place is the one where coffee and vulnerability meet. Feel free to reach out if we've yet to connect; maybe it was ever ago planned that we one day would?

YOBcast Episode 053: Brothers! w/ Jacob & Nate

Jacob’s older brother, Nate, joins us for a deep-dive into their relationship: how Jacob came out to his brother, Nate’s reaction as a straight guy, their parents’ dynamic, and their respective struggles with pornography. It’s a cinematic storytelling session full of laughs and tearful takes alike. Beyond their brotherly story, we get to know Nate (including his personality styles and love languages), learn about Nate’s friendship with Tom, and partake in a “brotherly bridge” all about capris. Yes, capris — the pant.

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MANLY MONTHLY PREMIERE!

We’re BACK! Introducing our new (totally not old) video series: the MANLY MONTHLY! I talk the new series format and give some highlights of this past summer, including hosting our second YOBBERS retreat and attending the second Revoice conference. I also close with a quick dive into John 6 and why, above all other paths, Jesus is the one we’re following at YOB.

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Why I’m Attracted to Other Guys (and Who Cares?)

I’ve had at least a decade to process my sexuality, why certain men “do it” for me and why others do not. I’ve already written about what kinds of guys I’m attracted to and my cycles of physical and emotional same-sex attraction. But am I sexually attracted to men? The answer has become so clear over the last couple years: no.

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YOBcast Episode 052: Chosen Family

For better or worse, we all start with families of origin. But what of this concept of families of choice? A chosen family that goes beyond blood and DNA? Join Tom, Ryan, and Jacob for a discussion on chosen family: what it means for the LGBTQ+ community, what it means for believers, and what it means for this overlap of communities in YOB and beyond.

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When I’m Attracted to Other Guys

I’ve pretty much always been attracted to guys in one manner or another. Some times more obsessively and explicitly than others. Some times more emotionally than physically. And for whatever reason, never sexually.

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YOBcast Episode 051: Attachment Styles

We’re diving deeper into emotional attachment with special guest, Taylor Zimmerman! Taylor’s blogged at Spiritual Friendship and spoken at Revoice. He’s a University of Chicago student currently pursuing his third (3rd!) master’s degree with interests in philosophy of religion, theology, and psychoanalysis — and how they all come together. Taylor talks to us about attachment theory and the four attachment styles: secure, ambivalent-preoccupied, dismissing-avoidant, and fearful-avoidant. It’s a fascinating psychological exploration into why we attach to other men the ways we do as gay/SSA (same-sex attracted) men.

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What Attracts Me to Other Guys

My attraction for men tilts more toward the emotional and physical rather than anything sexual, and I’ve been wired this way my whole life. So, what does it mean to be physically but not sexually attracted to other men? It’s a question I get a lot, a distinction worth clarifying.

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YOBcast Episode 050: Emotional Attachment

We’re back! After a brief summer hiatus, we return with our landmark fiftieth episode. Join Tom, Ryan, and Jacob sharing stories of emotional attachment: the good ways we attach to other men, and the not-so-good ways we attach. It’s a callback to a previous episode on emotional dependency. We differentiate between “dependency” and “attachment” and share both our positive and negative experiences in relationship with other men.

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Straight Men are Scary

Straight men have always been scary. They’ve long been “the other,” going all the way back to first grade. We may not share the same tastes for sports and media consumption, but we still share a common masculine heart. One fraught with hauntingly familiar masculine thorns.

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Taking Up Courage with Masculinity at the YOBBERS Retreat

Of our five values, I felt a lot of vibes for “courage” going into the YOBBERS retreat this year. I just had a feeling I’d be on the Courage Tribe, because boy have I needed courage this year. Boy, do I need courage still. Sure enough, I did wind up on Courage this year. Turns out I wasn’t the only one with courageous inclinations.

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