Thomas Mark Zuniga

When I'm not wandering away, I live in Asheville, North Carolina – the Jewel of the Blue Ridge. I'm YOB's cofounder and editor, and I also host our two podcasts. I've written a couple books, including a 2013 memoir in which I came out to the world. Once upon another universe I anonymously blogged about my faith and sexuality under the Xanga username, twoBeckonings. I'm an INFJ, Enneagram 4w5, and my spirit animal is the buffalo. I love to travel, and my favorite place in the world is the one where coffee and vulnerability meet.
The Most Stressed I've Been Leading Our Retreat
The Most Stressed I’ve Been Leading Our Retreat
I guess we're really doing this again, I thought, this whole retreat thing. Is this officially an annual event now? Can I handle that? Goodness, can I really put on a retreat every year for the rest of my life? Or need I only focus on this year's retreat, letting tomorrow's retreat worry for itself? I entered this fourth camp retreat in perhaps my most unhealthy headspace of the four. I felt rushed in the preparation, behind on all the decor and planning which led to a lot of sacrificed self-care, too. Because how can I sleep or eat or exercise or socialize at the same capacity with such a mammoth task at hand?!
Your Other Brothers Podcast | 099: Side B Resources, Part 2
YOBcast 099: Side B Resources, Part 2
We're back to finish discussing this wonderful world of Side B resources, this time with Tom, Ben, and Will! Ben and Will share their first exposure to Side B resources as we recap some resources mentioned from Part 1, then jump to more of our favorite ones.
YOB ConvoCast 056: Tom & Michael Prep for the Retreat!
YOB ConvoCast 056: Tom & Michael Prep for the Retreat!
Michael makes his ConvoCast debut as one of YOB's newer bloggers and a fiercely established welcomer in our community! He shares with Tom about his love for Seattle and how his dog Rumour will not be making an appearance in this episode. Tom recounts meeting Michael for the first time at the 2019 YOBBERS retreat, including the brave moment when Michael "came out" to the whole group, and the guys share their excitements and anxieties for our upcoming retreat just a couple weeks away!
Your Other Brothers Podcast | 098: Side B Resources, Part 1
YOBcast 098: Side B Resources, Part 1
It’s an episode topic long requested and finally tackled as we discuss the world of Side B resources (or, those with a traditional sexual ethic). It's a world that has, thankfully, grown quite a bit in recent years. Join Tom, Ryan, and Aaron for a conversation on our first found Side B resources and then our favorite ones, from books to blogs to various ministries.
Coming Out of "Love, Simon" with Gratitude
Coming Out of “Love, Simon” with Gratitude
Beyond its romantic, mysterious plot-line, Love, Simon is an exploration of queer adolescence in the 21st century, complete with social media postings and aliases. The coming out experience lies central to the story, as Simon explores the new terrain of his sexuality with friends, family, and his entire school. I'd love all straight people – straight Christians – to watch Love, Simon, because it will show them how gut-wrenching (and also beautiful) the coming out process is for a gay person: of finally letting another human into the biggest secret of one's life.
YOB ConvoCast 055: Tom & Matt Bro Down with Balloons!
YOB ConvoCast 055: Tom & Matt Bro Down with Balloons!
Tom hits the road and talks with longtime friend Matt in the same room! The guys cover their weekend together in the Land of Enchantment (New Mexico), from the magical Balloon Fiesta to mystical White Sands National Park and multiple church services interspersed! The guys reminisce on 12 years of friendship, affirming one another for the growth they’ve seen in the other. They also discuss straight guys in the backseat yearning for hot girls, sharing adventures with others versus going them alone, and Jesus' fulfilling the Tabernacle of old.
Your Other Brothers Podcast | 097: Scripture Stories, Part 2
YOBcast 097: Scripture Stories, Part 2
We open the scroll on our favorite Scripture stories once again, this time with Tom being joined by Ryan and Aaron! We discuss several Old Testament stories like Abraham and Isaac, Jonah, Hosea and Gomer, and Mephibosheth, as well as some New Testament stories like the man born blind, and Jesus and John at the Last Supper. How do these stories hit us in the crosshairs of our faith, sexuality, and masculinity?
YOB ConvoCast 054: Tom & Marshall, Ever the Groomsmen, Never the Groom!
YOB ConvoCast 054: Tom & Marshall, Ever the Groomsmen, Never the Groom!
Tom welcomes back Marshall to talk about things DEFINITELY NOT related to the Enneagram whatsoever. Marshall catches us up with his busy life on the farm, including a major life update of a dear friend’s impending marriage. Marshall shares both the negative and positive emotions involved in this coming change to the friendship, including being asked to be a groomsman. He reads from John 3:29 and discusses his joy as a "friend of the bridegroom," and the guys discuss the effects of marriage on a mostly single/celibate community like YOB.
Your Other Brothers Podcast | 096: Scripture Stories, Part 1
YOBcast 096: Scripture Stories, Part 1
After a summer of Enneagram ConvoCasts, we’re back with a new YOBcast! It's a two-part episode where we dive into some stories in Scripture that speak to us as SSA/LGBT+ people of faith wrestling with these matters of sexuality and masculinity. For Part 1, Tom is joined by Ben and Will to discuss Hagar, Rahab, the woman at the well, and the early church.
Am I Actually in Touch with My Feelings as a Gay Man?
Am I Actually in Touch with My Feelings as a Gay Man?
Fours are emotional creatures. We feel things. We feel things deeply and often. A leaky faucet doesn't do the metaphor justice; my heart feels more like a fire hydrant turned loose on a city street. Handling the hydrant has challenged me my whole life, but especially these last few years. I've seen some success. And I also recognize how much room I have yet to grow.