Thomas Mark Zuniga

I'm a storyteller and story-liver in Asheville, North Carolina – the Jewel of the Blue Ridge. I'm YOB's cofounder and editor, and I also host our bimonthly podcast. I've written a couple books, including a memoir in 2013 where I first came out to the world. Once upon another universe I anonymously blogged about my faith and sexuality under the Xanga username, "twoBeckonings." I'm an INFJ, an Enneagram 4w5, and my spirit animal is the buffalo. My favorite place in the world is the one where coffee and vulnerability meet.
The First Guy Who Ever Crossed Physical Boundaries With Me
The First Guy Who Ever Crossed Physical Boundaries With Me
Somewhere in the night, the role reversal from cuddling with Brandon completed itself. Lines got blurred and then definitively crossed. It wasn't sexual touch, but it was inappropriate touch. It wasn't welcomed or invited. Brett didn't ask; he just did. He took. Just as I took from Brandon, Brett took from me. And passive, conflict-avoidant me felt crippled to say a word against
Your Other Brothers ConvoCast • 030
YOB ConvoCast 030: Tom & Matt Process Grief
Tom welcomes back longtime YOB blogger, podcaster, and resident "sexpert" Matt for a deep dive into death, grief, and how these difficult seasons either shape us or harden us. They also give some love to fellow YOB brother Dean, the bizarre adult playground-museum that is Meow Wolf, and Tom's (almost 40-year-old)
Your Other Brothers Podcast | 080
The YOBcast 080: “Side B” Objections
"Don't call yourself gay"; "don't have gay friends"; "pray harder for God to change you"; "act more manly"; "keep dating women until you find the right one." As sexual minorities, we often face objections from within our own faith, from fellow believers -- be they peers, parents, or pastors. How do we respond when we face objections for our sexuality? How do we move forward through the resistance? Join Tom and YOBcast newcomers Pastor Ben and Pastor Will as we dive into some common "Side B" objections. And as we reaffirm to one another and to you that you are not alone in whatever spiritual objections you
Your Other Brothers Podcast | 079
The YOBcast 079: Love Languages & Sexuality
How does our sexuality impact the way we give and receive love from others, particularly other men? Why do quality time and physical touch rank high in our community? And where is the line between expressing the love we need and manipulating others with our love language of choice? Join Tom, Ryan, and Aaron as we examine the five languages like never before through the lens of our sexuality: acts of service, gifts, words of affirmation, quality time, and physical
Your Other Brothers ConvoCast • 029
The YOB ConvoCast 029: Tom & Keegan Encourage the Lurkers!
YOB’s resident community welcomer, Keegan, joins Tom to talk about being a #LurkerNoLonger. He recounts the backstory of a voicemail he left for the YOBcast several episodes ago, and Tom’s heart soars over stories of brotherhood and beach bonfires from his former home in southern California. And the guys can’t get away from this episode without talking about Keegan’s now iconic welcome GIF for new community members – especially after it slaughtered Ryan’s hair in March’s "YOB Madness"
Your Other Brothers ConvoCast • 028
The YOB ConvoCast 028: Tom & Eugene Go to Cuddle Corner!
Tom welcomes back YOB’s resident artist and cuddling aficionado, Eugene, for a discussion on physical boundaries between friends. They reference both Tom’s latest blog on crossing boundaries and Eugene’s latest blog on the nature vs. nurture debate! Additionally, Tom reveals some behind the scenes magic for rectifying the technical snafu that happened during last year’s ConvoCast recording with Eugene. And the guys bounce around a new name for what to call someone who isn’t quite a YOBBER
The First Guy I Ever Crossed Physical Boundaries With
The First Guy I Ever Crossed Physical Boundaries With
I pictured him crying in his bed when he woke up that morning, or even going to bed crying right after leaving me; knowing I'd hurt him, knowing I'd been the one to cross physical boundaries. It destroyed me, if I'm
Your Other Brothers Podcast | 078
The YOBcast 078: Masturbation
Is masturbation sinful? What if it's done without lusting? Is masturbation "solo-sex" or "self-sex," and does it breech God's design for sexuality? What does the Bible have to say, if anything, about masturbation? Masturbation isn't an oft discussed topic in Christian circles, with many folks describing their childhood discovery of masturbation as if they had been the first ones ever to discover such a secret bodily pleasure. As a result of this secrecy, masturbation has produced a lot of shame for men and women. Regardless where you land on this issue, we want to break down this
Your Other Brothers ConvoCast • 027
The YOB ConvoCast 027: Tom & Will Recite Their Favorite Poetry!
Will Cooper makes his debut audio appearance on the YOB Podcast Network! He traces his decision to become a pastor all the way back to childhood, and he reminisces about coming out to his church early into his joining YOB. He also brings some of his favorite poetry to share, including a poem from his YOB namesake William Cowper, as Tom also shares his favorite
Your Other Brothers Podcast | 077
The YOBcast 077: Church Angst
Many folks in our community bear wounds and baggage from churches, be it local bodies or broader denominations. What do we do with our church angst? How should we rightly frame our motivations or expectations for attending church as gay or SSA-identifying folks? Join Tom, Ryan, and Aaron as he makes his YOBcast debut, as we share our journeys of finding, connecting, and serving in the local church – with all the hope and angst in
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