Recent Comments

  • AvatarSteven C on What Do I Do With My Male Crushes?I've been struggling with the crush feelings towards one of my best friends for a few years now. Sometimes I wanted to shut him out of my life. (My priest friend said no.) Sometimes I wanted to proclaim my undying love for him (My spiritual director said no). Ultimately I'm learning that I see him as my big brother. I value his presence in my life and our level of vulnerability. I need that connection. For more fleeting people out in the world, somewhat like Qothelet, my priest friend and St Agustine seem to be in agreement that we praise...
  • AvatarAlex on The First Man to Tell Me He Loved MeWow. Relatively simple story. But very powerful. The words “God-ordained” in this in reference to these relationship…pierced my soul. I don’t know everything. I know God’s law of chastity and His definition of marriage. But there is definitely something to be explored with love among men. Still figuring it out for myself.
  • AvatarDavid on Euphoric Recall: My Sexual Fantasies NamedMan, this made so many things click for me. I've been doing this for as long as I can remember - playing out fantasies, sexual and non-sexual alike - and it's weird. I've recently noticed a pretty strong correlation with "how much do I fantasize like this" and "how bad do I feel", which makes sense, but I've never heard the term "euphoric recall" until now. I, like many here, have been trying to steward real relationships with real people, instead of fantasizing about abstractions of people that are not really the ones in front of us, even if they...
  • AvatarMicah on Christmastime Cuddling and the Muddling of TouchI really appreciate your thoughtful comment, Alex. It's great to hear that someone else can relate to this tension, and I loved your input on the thought of separating sexual feelings from sexual intentions.
  • AvatarStephen Thompson on The Masculine Uncertainty of Being UncircumcisedI’m 82. In hs and college , there only gang showers. In hs, there six of us in our class who were uncut. No bullying etc but I knew we were a minority. Now when I shower after exercise at my gym, I rarely see an intact penis. I wouldn’t let my son be cut and I haven’t heard any complaints from him. My grandson is intact too. At this age, I’m proud of my intact penis…no shame or avoiding other men in locker room. I’m convinced my sex life is superior to cut guys. My orgasms are truly intense!!...
  • AvatarSavingSons on The Masculine Uncertainty of Being UncircumcisedIt's not just Europe. It's really anywhere that isn't America or an Islamic theocracy.
  • DanielDaniel on The Masculine Uncertainty of Being UncircumcisedCome to Europe daaarrlin and be amongst your people in the Turtleneck Club. 🤝🐢
  • AvatarThe Friendless Man on The Healing Power of Holding Hands with Another ManI love the 4Ts framework too. It captures my desires regardless of the label I (or others) attach to myself (me). It's the Physical Transparency for me that raised eyebrows among my (now former 🙁 ) friends. They say I'm in denial about my sexuality and hides behind the 4Ts to take advantage of my male friends.
  • AvatarAaron Schmidt on YOB ConvoCast 078: Tom & Matthew Analyze Gen Z Fashion and Relive Our 5th Retreat!I was at the retreat and it was a great time...already planning for the next one.🙌🏼 First... Heck yes! Matthew should get a thigh tattoo! (awesome legs) How about a cross? Or a footprint? Or something that makes you pray about something or someone when you see it. (or others) Second... Dang...he has great advice and wisdom and very thankful for him. But elder?! I'm 20 years older than Matthew so I'm feeling like a fossil. And Third... 30 flannel shirts! WOW! Really!? Keep up the good work Tom! Peace. AAron
  • AvatarSteve on How My Mom and Sisters Stress Me Into IllnessI want to reach out and give you a big hug from all of us. You have been through a lot of tragedy. I love you like your brother and am here to tell you are perfect the way you are. God, the creator of all of us, loves each and everyone of us, just the way we are. No exceptions! The whys and wherefors why we were made a certain way is unknown to us, but we don't need to know what because we know that the Living God is good, faithful, loving, wise and just. He wants the...
  • AvatarKenny on Can I Really Never Masturbate Again?I’m just starting to look at these blogs seven years later did you ever write that blog about married men and masturbation?
  • TomTom on The Healing Power of Holding Hands with Another ManWelcome aboard, Alex! I love these stories of touch so much. About as "YOBBY" of a post as they come. Makes me smile to see some of the masculine love you have in your life. Thanks for encouraging us to be bold in building our own guy friendships. Your post has given me much to consider in this new year.
  • AvatarAlex on The Healing Power of Holding Hands with Another ManKind of a funny story. I met up with a guy friend and we went to a spa. There were signs explicitly saying “no sexual behavior allowed.” We were totally in agreement with that. We soon found that holding hands under water…to them…was considered sexual behavior. So we joked around the rest of my trip about how we “had sex” everywhere we held hands. But seriously, holding hands and other forms of physical, platonic affection with guys is electrifying, healing and life-giving. I wish I had more of it in my life.
  • AvatarCliff Wynn on Imprisoned for Being GayYes, I understand and agree. We will never live in a world where "religion"& "sexuality" aren't issues. We live in a world of sinner's, and self-righteous religious believer's who have not a clue what walking in Godly Grace & Humility is about. They seem to look at their "I'm not as bad as homo's, because they are an "abomination" to God, and forget the Lord stated that ALL "have sinned and fall short of the Glory and Holiness of God! It's a very sad state of affairs. I remember when "Anita Bryant" Miss Florida Orange Juice" promoter, compared Homosexuals, as...
  • AvatarCliff Wynn on Imprisoned for Being GayHow awful, did you actually spend 10 years of your life in prison?
  • AvatarCal on YOB ConvoCast 053: Ben Still has NO IDEA about His Enneagram Type!I have never heard of the Enneagram test before this, and I looked into it, and took it. I am not one that depends on something "man" has invented. I just trust the Lord knows me, and I am aware of who I am and my weaknesses. I tend to be old fashioned, and distrust this type of "Analogy" of personality traits. So I do feel the same as you, it is interesting, but I will not put my trust in it's conclusions. I do not desire this to become a type of idolatry. Thank you for posting this......I look...
  • AvatarAlex Lindstrom on Christmastime Cuddling and the Muddling of TouchI’ll say I’ve struggled with this tension. I just read a book about how same-sex relationships (anything like brotherhood, friendship, partnership, etc) tend to be better and more healthy when kept chaste. So I have hope that physical affection and other forms of non-sexual intimacy are a need and worth pursuing. And the potential sexual arousal can come with good boundaries, communication, inviting God into the picture, and acceptance. So much of my angst has come from the notion that just because I feel sexual feelings, it means that I WILL be sexual. But I’m learning that’s not true. It...
  • AvatarSteve on Free to Be Me: A First-Time YOBBER’s Retreat ExperienceThat is totally Awesome Brother. Jesus rescues us, saves us, redeems us. He loves us just the way we are, as difficult as that is to believe sometimes. Love you Brother.
  • AvatarRupert on Impressions of the YOBBERS Retreat from the Heart of a MomIt was lovely to meet Cheri and see how she interacted with both Alex and the other YOBBERS at the retreat. While the relationship with my own mother is great, my sexuality is definitely a difficult topic to broach. Where Cheri can accept “this is who he is,” my mother is still waiting for the day when I don’t struggle with it anymore, i.e. am straight. Even after 4 years of marriage with a woman, my sexuality hasn’t shifted in the slightest. But in sharing with her as openly and honestly as I can, I believe God will use my...
  • AvatarCourtney Chupp on My Gay Secret Led Me to Becoming an Other BrotherHello I'm a 36 year old man I'm gay as well I come from the Conservative Mennonite Background its how I was born nothing wrong with being same sex attraction
  • TomTom on The Anxiety for Belonging at My First YOBBERS RetreatBrandon, I admire your vulnerability and courage (funny how those go hand-in-hand) – both in writing about your retreat experience and even attending in the first place. I've often thought about how much more anxious I'd be about these retreats if I weren't the one organizing them. Because I definitely have anxiety leading up to the retreat. But I also know I've gotten acclimated to the community over the years, and plenty others still have some acclimating to do! I always applaud anyone who takes the leap to join us for a weekend. It takes massive courage just to show...
  • AvatarSam on Jesus is the Vision for this YOBBERS Retreat and BeyondSitting quietly with Jesus should be the easiest thing for me but it’s not. The retreat (every retreat), was (is) so good in that time for time to rest in the Lord is encouraged and the down time is provided. I need to schedule that more in my daily life.
  • AvatarDrew M on Jesus is the Vision for this YOBBERS Retreat and BeyondLove this, Sam! Yes, I was deeply encouraged by the reminder to return my gaze the true vision, Jesus. All of it is for him and because of him. I enjoyed hearing your reflections and experiences at the retreat. Joy is toughest for me when I feel disconnected from Jesus and am facing life challenges that I feel incompetent to face (i.e. parenting often and sometimes being a good husband). It wander into "doing life on my own" mode many times a day, and end up frustrated and not joyful when things don't go as I'd hope (which is frequently)....
  • TomTom on Inviting Jesus into the Messiness After the YOBBERS RetreatThanks for entering into the messiness, Wes – firstly for your own relationship with Jesus, but secondly for our own benefit as fellow community members. Inspired by your integrity in this matter. You've been such a musical and relational gift to our community these last few years at retreats and otherwise. Already eager to see what song you cook up for next year's gathering! I loved how seriously you took finding an appropriate song that matched our theme. 🙂
  • AvatarDrew M on Inviting Jesus into the Messiness After the YOBBERS RetreatThank you, Wes, for this vulnerable, insightful, beautifully honest reflection on your experience before and during the YOB retreat. It has done my heart good to listen, reflect, and receive it. I very much relate to great difficulty in slowing down and listening to God, receiving his life in me to sustain me. I can have such a clear and beautiful moments with him, and yet slip out of the rhythm so easily. What helps me get back in rhythm is to literally plant my butt on the sofa in our living room in the early morning hours while everyone...
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