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Tom on YOBcast 104: VulnerabilityThanks for being vulnerable with us, Drew. So glad you found YOB and have even started meeting members of our community! What a cool journey of late. I hope our community gives you more tools and more support for the journey. We're all learning as we go!
Tom on Why I Observe Lent, Even in My FailureGrateful for your more liturgically-oriented perspective compared with the rest of our community! I've had years where I observed Lent more intentionally than others. This practice of fasting and sacrifice resonates with me. Each Lent (or any other time I fast) I just have to check my spirit and make sure I'm not partaking because it makes me feel better compared with other Christians who (I presume) don't think much at all about sacrifice. But if going without orients me more toward the Lord, it's such a beautiful practice and season, however difficult it also is.
Drew M on YOBcast 104: VulnerabilityI believe I first cried out to God about the pain I felt around my sexuality, namely that I found myself far more attracted to guys that girls, in my early teen years. I remember desperate feelings and times of anguished crying, begging God to change me and making promises to be “better.” The first person I told about experiencing same-sex attraction (very generally) was my youth pastor when I was around 15-16. His response was casual and non-judgmental, which felt amazing at the time. However, that relationship ended badly, so that disclosure ultimately brought more pain that comfort or...
Drew M on Why I Observe Lent, Even in My FailureThank you for this thoughtful reflection. I appreciate your candidness and especially your willingness to welcome imperfection in your Lent observance. I have often struggled with a sense of guilt/shame over not fasting "perfectly" during Lent. Your post reminds me that doing it perfectly is not the point. The point is creating more space for God, emptying myself so I can be filled with him. I confess that is so hard for me to do. Prayer and giving of myself are challenging enough, but fasting in particular feels like death sometimes (whether it's from desserts, games on my phone, or...
Tom on YOBcast 103: JoyThanks for listening and responding, Drew! Especially loved reading about your joy of fatherhood. What an awesome dad you must be, no doubt formed in part by your sexuality.
Tom on The Beginning of a 29-Year Sexual DenialYou're such a rich tapestry of stories, Michael. I learn something new every time I read a post from you or talk with you. Your Sex Ed story reminded me of my own Sex Ed experience in 9th grade (Christian education, no less). So awkward, but actually a little encouraging to realize that even the tough macho straight guys had no idea how sex (or the female body) worked. I can only imagine the emotions involved with sitting alone in the hall. UGH. My heart went out to you there.
Tom on YOB ConvoCast 062: Tom & Adam Ponder Why Queer People Love SURVIVOR!Thanks for listening, Robert! Now for you to watch your first episode... 😉
James P on The Beginning of a 29-Year Sexual DenialI relate to this story very much and it makes great points I have not seen in this forum before. Did you know there are over 6 million Christians alive today who feel LGBT? That means this group and others like it are a tiny fraction of all the Christians who experience same-sex attraction and all the other stuff that goes with feeling LGBT. Enjoy the support. Don't beat yourself up if you are not perfect. And if you have other issues, like being molested or raped as a child, don't be afraid to seek help from a therapist. If...
Robert on YOB ConvoCast 062: Tom & Adam Ponder Why Queer People Love SURVIVOR!As a queer person who is not a fan of Survivor I wondered about the draw of the show. It was interesting listening to this and hear why you liked it. Perhaps you could put up a poll for Yobbers to see how many of us like vs. don’t like it.
Christopher Jensen on The Beginning of a 29-Year Sexual DenialI enjoyed reading your post, Michael. I, too, had similar experiences, so as I was reading, I was relating to a lot of it. I can't wait for part 2 of your story.
Drew M on The Beginning of a 29-Year Sexual DenialMichael, thank you for your raw, honest sharing. I can feel the pain, confusion, and longing in your share, and can relate deeply with those feelings in my own journey with sexuality. I can certainly relate to trying to prove to myself that I was not attracted to men (my awareness of same sex attraction and desire arrived very early in my life, as early as 7-8 that I can recall). Usually, it was through engaging in heterosexual fantasy/masturbation as I was far too terrified and lacking confidence to ever approach a girl sexually. Being homeschooled and isolated with few...
Drew M on YOBcast 103: JoyThank you for this amazing discussion about joy, guys. The concept of being joyful about my sexuality remains in many ways enigmatic and elusive to me. Shame? Absolutely. Fear? You bet. Conflicted, frustrated, and hopeless? Check, check, check. But joy? For most of my journey (and still a lot of times today), not so much. However, very recently and in many ways through the kind and spacious guidance of my therapist, I have begun to catch a glimpse of what Tom, Ryan, and Will so beautifully and candidly discussed, that I can actually experience joy in my sexuality as a...
Erin on The Beginning of a 29-Year Sexual DenialMichael, Thank you for sharing your experience here. So relatable, vulnerable, and accessible. It’s something that I see myself pondering back on until “part 2”. Was left wanting more. Your other sister, Erin
Drew M on A Personal Lament for When God Seems DistantRight on, Lee. Thank you for articulating this!
Lee on How Can I Believe People Truly Love Me?Matheus, one of the most wonderful things about God is His Perfect Love. He loves us as we are not as we should be. You don't have to end your life to experience Him. You are worthy to be loved because Someone greater than us loves you. Doubt is part of the journey and you don't have to be alone. Even as a believer for years, I still have doubts and fears. Yet, I find peace and hope knowing that all my struggles and brokenness have been redeemed. That's what God offers us! He offers to give you hope and...
Lee on A Personal Lament for When God Seems DistantWhat if God seems distant so we will hunger more for Him? This isn't my idea but one that I have learned from reading various books by Larry Crabb and Dan. B. Allender about our yearnings that go unanswered. The real danger isn't missing God's presence, but that we numb our hearts to the hope and desire for God. I'm in the process of leaving that point presently, and I can testify that it's not a good place to be. Thankfully, God will draw us close and one day will set all things right for those who wait and hope....
Drew M on A Personal Lament for When God Seems DistantBen, thanks for pouring your heart out. I relate to what sometimes feels like endless waiting. Deep, painful, unrequited longing. I pray he shows up soon and sustains you in the meantime.
Drew M on My Attractions for Men Beyond the SexualSam, thank you for your insight and vulnerability. It is so encouraging to read your thoughts and hear some of your heart on this topic of the varieties of attraction. I can truly relate to experience many facets of attraction to men other than physical/sexual (although that is certainly my experience as well). One thing that has been so helpful in my journey has been learning to distinguish when my attraction to a particular man is more about his kindness, or vulnerability, or his confidence and sense of strength than about a physical or sexual attraction. So often admiration is...
John on The Joys of Friendships Beyond Their MarriagesMarshall, this is such a joyous thing! Thanks for sharing your personal experiences. I also have a very good friend from church who has stuck beside me for decades even after I revealed my struggle. Just in the last year, he has started to show me a very side of himself and we have grown even closer. It's so worth the investment to be vulnerable with our friends. God bless you!
Tom on A Personal Lament for When God Seems DistantI think Jesus' capacity to lament is what "sells" me on Christianity more than anything else. Truly a game-changing and life-giving reality for a savior to suffer with us.
James P on A Personal Lament for When God Seems DistantEven Jesus had those feelings if you go by his words on the cross, "My God, my God, why have you abandoned me?"
Brian on A Personal Lament for When God Seems DistantOh Ben. Your lament. It so resonates. Oh man. I wish you lived down the road and we could share a beer together and compare notes. Go well guy. The Lord is our Shepherd...or we die.
Matheus on How Can I Believe People Truly Love Me?I feel you Michael. I'm a 26 years old homossexual guy, and have many self esteem problems too, specially related to body image as I have some torso bones deformations and am very skinny, almost skeletical.. I've been feeling alone for some time, and from the looks of it will continue doing so for very long. There's an additional problem with me that is the fact that I have many doubs about the very existence of God, I hope He exists, I really do, because that would be a beautiful reality to live in, but I'd be lying if I...
Longing For Eden on A Personal Lament for When God Seems DistantThank you for your gut-level honesty, Ben. This resonated so deeply with me. My spouse and I are in a similar place right now, and I am at a loss of how to be the best support at times. My heart aches…💔❤️‍🩹
Tom on The Joys of Friendships Beyond Their MarriagesI've found friends' marriages challenging to work through. I hope to endure and find genuine joy for the other party as you have done and continue to do, Marshall.