Recent Comments
Alan on The Challenges and Callings in my Mixed-Orientation MarriageIt's been awhile since I left a comment, seeing 3 outta 4 comments in another language it's good knowing YOB is growing. Thanks Seraphim for your post, not only about your marriage but also sharing the Orthodox perspective. Our kids are married now, it's been a journey thru rough terrain my wife and I have been on but with good discoveries along the way. Grace is almost tangible in her grace to me. All the challenges and even sufferings we've been thru have helped build our faith to be both more real and precious. We no longer question or judge...- Regular reader on The Masks We Wear for OthersThank you for your honesty Michael. Just this morning I was thinking: why is it so hard for me to get out of bed? Knowing I’m not the only one is comforting. And yes, the masks. Trying to not be discovered as someone with same sex attractions seems to be the mask I like to wear. Most of my friends and family know my story, but with others I want to uphold the image of being ‘normal’. I’m aware of my pain in that last written word… So again, thank you for writing what you wrote.
- Ian UK on YOB ConvoCast 093: Matt Lives in a Celibate Partnership with Another ManThank you, Matt and Tom, for an excellent episode. I was particularly impressed with Matt's willingness to engage even with those who openly disagree with the way that has chosen to live out a celibate life fruitfully in a celibate partnership. Matt, you came across as confident in our Lord, gracious and kind. I wonder whether either of you are aware of a paper on celibate partnerships and friendships which Side B author Greg Coles produced for the Centre for Faith, Sexuality and Gender around 2022? He identifies 14 different modes of relationship which could come under the celibate partnership...
- Tim on Where the Sparrow Finds a HomeFunny you should mention that. I love watching birds and enjoy giving them extra food during really hot spells or really cold spells. One day I looked out on the deck and saw this tiny sparrow grab some shredded cheese and run stuff it in the mouth of a starling. Starlings are big but not as big as a raven. Starlings also have a long, pointed beak. They also will lay eggs in another bird's nest for a number of reasons and that bird will raise their young. It was sadly hilarious but awesome seeing that starling pecking the sparrow...
Tom on YOB ConvoCast 093: Matt Lives in a Celibate Partnership with Another ManThanks for listening, Ed! - Ed Craig on YOB ConvoCast 093: Matt Lives in a Celibate Partnership with Another ManSuch a wonderful Christian witness! Thank you, Matt, for your story.
- Guest on The Masks We Wear for OthersMichael, I respect your brave and public recognition of your masks. I’m just recently putting names to my own. I think at the end of the day, masks are a survival technique for men in America. However helpful they ultimately may or may not be, it goes without saying that they exist in so many forms. For me at least, growing up with very athletic brothers where I had to stand up for my brand of masculinity often resulted in me donning the “Funny Guy” mask just so no one felt threatened or challenged. There’s a fantastic book I’m reading...
- Josh Knox on When I Discovered the Korean SpaAs a Side B SSA Christian Male (I am also attracted to women), I have tried Korean Spas and found them to be pretty tame, especially ones in the South of the United States. If you go alone, other men might not want to talk to you unless they have other intentions in mind, which I am not into of course. I just wanted male camaraderie and closeness since I never had that growing up in any capacity. It is relaxing, and there are kind people who are not there to engage in sexual sin. I want to share a...
- timothy on The Challenges and Callings in my Mixed-Orientation Marriage“… to bear the image of God and represent Christ and the Church in our love for one another.” Thank you for keeping this privilege and responsibility in front of us. I join r_river in eagerness for more posts, brother!
- Seraphim on The Challenges and Callings in my Mixed-Orientation MarriageObrigado pelo comentário, meu irmão! Eu ainda estou aprendendo, mas oro para que Deus nos dê sabedoria enquanto trilhamos esse caminho.
- Tom on The Challenges and Callings in my Mixed-Orientation MarriageGosto sempre dos seus comentários em português!
- r_river on The Challenges and Callings in my Mixed-Orientation MarriageEsse texto, irmão, é um serviço de utilidade pública! Experiências de matrimônios de orientação mista são ainda pouco compreendidas, inclusive por nós mesmos, maridos bi. Fico ansioso por novas postagens. Gratidão!
- Christopher on Feeling Burned Out on QueernessEugene, enjoy your honesty and writing. First, this line "Most of my classmates are gayer than a handbag of rainbows." made me laugh so hard. Second, I hope this encourages some of you. I don't think I seem super feminine to other guys, but don't really know how I come across to others. But for sure I used to feel so excluded from the world of guys. Like you say in your article, I would see a bunch of guys hanging out in a group and wonder why I didn't fit in. I desperately wanted to fit in. If some...
- Josh on Feeling Burned Out on QueernessAny from the YOB community in the Cleveland or Ohio area? I wasn’t able to attend, but I remember seeing that Revoice was hosted in Columbus, but have no idea how many at the conference were local.
- David on A Straight Guy Goes on the YOBBERS RetreatWish I knew you
- Josh on Feeling Burned Out on QueernessEugene, I’ve followed your writing for awhile now. I’ve deeply appreciated and related to your honest reflections from time-to-time (frustratingly, I do differ sexually, though — I find myself somewhat envious of your asexuality!) Part of me believes that having little to no intimate desire for men would simplify a lot of my internal world and eliminate the looming possibility of any unwanted (and sometimes even unexpected) physical pulls towards my friends — the closest of whom are straight. Platonic cuddling or safe, non-threatening nudity with pals without my brain going right to sex. That’s honestly wild bro haha. It...
- John on Feeling Burned Out on QueernessEugene, thanks for your insightful article. I'm right there with you. It's hard to hang around some guys who either identify as gay or straddle the fence. Not judging anyone, it's just that I feel I don't belong there. I strongly relate to your question here.... But can I find straight friends in this day and culture that doesn’t value deeper friendships among men?
- Aaron on From David and Jonathan to Heaven and HellYou must be a good writer because I felt the cringe in the first part and the rage in this part. As an outsider, I can't judge this well, but I think it's fair to say that you both probably did wrong. I'm comparing it to the healing and hurt I've been through with the various roommates I've had the past few years. If I had to guess, I'd say you three were probably a little too wounded to really help each other. It also sounds like you talked a lot without saying much. Somehow, you misunderstood each other and...
- Mike on The Masculine Uncertainty of Being UncircumcisedThis post resonates so thoroughly with me: I share the author’s shame of growing up insecure about my weird, abnormal uncircumcised penis. It’s taken years of me being circumcised as an adult to gain the confidence to be nude or use the urinals in front of other men, but now I am proud of my normal American penis.
- JRS on From David and Jonathan to Heaven and HellWOW. To a 97% tee, this is what I have recently experienced with a friend I referenced in my comment to Part 1. I’m learning how to have more openness and healthy emotional boundaries and expectations in other friendships, now. I hope to enter the same posture of resting my relational hopes and desires in Christ. Thanks for sharing your processing, Noah! I feel less alone in similar thoughts of doubt, anger at self, and frustration.
- JRS on Was It Friendship or Something More with Him?I resonate with so much of this, and coincidentally this is an experience I have just gone through this past year. Something different though is that the friend I lived with is primarily OSA but he’s aware of my SSA. My sense of intimacy came from *him* bringing up notions of spiritual/committed friendship (similar to part Pereira’s story) and wanting to build intentional community in our shared home. Unfortunately, that friendship has fallen dreadfully apart and I’m picking myself up after how much pressure I put on the friendship and learning how to have healthy expectations and emotional boundaries.
- Tom on Was It Friendship or Something More with Him?This blog reads like a "classic YOB" post of yesteryear. Fantastic storytelling of friendship and figuring out intimacy. I'm eager to see how this ends (oh wait, I already know haha).
- Steven on Was It Friendship or Something More with Him?I've never been at that level, although i relate to friends not seeing the need to share everything about their lives. I've also been confused by my feelings for other guys. I was thinking that i was in romantic love with one of my friends, but the Lord helped me to see that strong feelinga of closeness aren't always eros. And not having ever dated, i didn't really have anything to compare the feelings too, so i jumped to the wrong conclusions
- WaveDave on Was It Friendship or Something More with Him?To answer your questions, Noah, yes, I am experiencing a close, intimate relationship with another guy right now - it is totally platonic. It's grown to where we have committed ourselves to each other and pledged to always be there for each other. We have both expressed that we have seen God allowing our paths to cross. This has been uncharted territory for me and at times it has been frightening. I am painfully aware that many times a relationship doesn't have "staying power" but in this case the bonds we have, have been cemented in concrete. I have no...
- WaveDave on Was It Friendship or Something More with Him?Wow Noah - you have such an terrific way of writing! I look forward to reading the rest of the story!