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Tom on Uncovering the Soul Wound of My SexualityThanks for sharing that, Don. I'm sorry for those multiple betrayals. That's rough. While it's an exhilaration like no other when our loved ones receive us in our struggles and mess, the flip-side is a proportional sort of devastating. I mourn with you, brother. 
Don on Uncovering the Soul Wound of My SexualityThank you for sharing such a vulnerable story. I have similar stories over the course of my sixty or so years of self awareness. I loved silent. Over the years I had a dozen or so close friends who I thought I could trust that I confided in. Each in turn abandoned me when I would explain my childhood and the struggle. I suspect after the most recent I will never be able to manage the courage again. The last three were so close and I was certain they would love me through it. Their abandonment was such a betrayal....- Jerry Armelli on Why Do I Have These Sexual Dreams?Thank you, Michael for sharing about your dreams. I have been in ministry for many years and throughout that time NUMEROUS men have shared their dreams with me that left them with MANY questions and feelings of confusion, shame, and upset. I struggles with unwanted sexual dreams for MANY years. One of my most upsetting dreams was a reoccurring dream of incest. It was highly disturbing. I dug deep into the Bible and everything it said about dreams. I found much insight and understanding about dreams thus my dreams. I was able to put into practice dynamics during my awake...
- Mac on What Do I Still Believe About Bro Cuddling?I have had a chance to cuddle with two guys on separate occasions when I was on holiday. The first time was in 2018 and I was spending the night at a hotel in Austin, Texas. My friend lived in the city and came out to my hotel for a cuddle session. He didn't spend the night with me, but being our first cuddle I was glad he didn't stay longer. Our cuddling together was SO AWKWARD. We kept shifting positions trying to get comfortable while also trying for some threshold of intimacy. We really could have used your advice...
- Tom on I Crushed on Him Before I Knew I Was GayThat's a good distinction, Steven. I've been tempted to tell certain guys I'm "crushing" on them too, but it really is just a heightened form of delight that can be exciting/confusing/all the things. Better to just lean into that delight than unnecessarily bring someone else into my misplaced eroticism.
- Michael on Why I’m Afraid to Take Off My ShirtI have not taken off my top in public for about 33 years, and it will never happen. I am too f***ing gross
- Kaleb on 5 Times My Heart Has Swelled as a ManThanks, Frank. Those are good points and you probably identified exactly the reasons why I had misgivings. He would either reject it and I’d feel like a fool or accept it but hide it from his girlfriend or “lose” it, which would hurt me and still feel like a fool. Or maybe he would appreciate it. But that’s a big maybe. I could ask him, though he isn’t one to make creative decisions so I think it would go nowhere probably. But yeah, maybe if I explain I would do the same as him he might warm up to the...
- Steven C on I Crushed on Him Before I Knew I Was GayI'm out to my crush, but not about my crush on him. I was going to tell him, but my spiritual director said no. I'm glad he did, as I think I was making it some kind of bad erotic thing. In reality, I think it's just that I really delight in him and am not used to that. I need to have more of that with other people.
- Frank on 5 Times My Heart Has Swelled as a ManOut of care for you as a brother, I think you would be setting yourself up for major heartache, both because of the surprise factor and the marital association of a ring. It could be pure magic, but it could very well be a disaster. Can you ask your friend, “I want to do something to commemorate our friendship, what would that look like for you?” I mean, wouldn’t it be something you both wear/present anyway? Like those old “Best Friend” medallions split in half and each wears half. But your friend deserves buy-in, no surprises, and nothing that for...
- Kaleb on 5 Times My Heart Has Swelled as a ManHere is a question for you… This summer my best friend and I will have been friends for ten years. He is very cool and hilarious and I’m blessed to be his friend this long. I’m planning a fun day with him and I had this idea that might be crazy, but maybe not. Would it be strange if I gave my friend a ring to commemorate our friendship? To clarify, he has a girlfriend and daughter and would likely not be on this website. So I’m not sure how it might come across. We have shared some platonic intimacy...
- Tom on How My First 29 Years of Sex Addiction EndsThanks for sharing. Been struggling with sex addiction too. I've joined sex addicts anonymous and 12 step programme. I've learned that shame and childhood trauma are the root cause for that addiction...
- Tom on What I Want from My Perfect Fantasy GuyLove this, Anthony. Inviting God into our imaginations and desires is a beautiful, if not extremely vulnerable, thing.
- Tom on Where the Sparrow Finds a HomeThis blog feels like the long-awaited ORIGIN STORY for our podcast and many of our community's inside jokes. Love all of this, Keegan. I also enjoy visualizing a sparrow the size of a raven.
- Micah on Where the Sparrow Finds a HomeBeautiful words, Keegan. I frequently feel small and overlooked in my struggles by the church, but it's a great reminder that my focus should stay on God, Who doesn't overlook me and my struggles. "Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted."
- r_river on I Crushed on Him Before I Knew I Was GayGrande história, irmão! Vulnerabilidade física ainda mexe comigo, mas também me sinto grato quando um irmão tem coragem em expor sua nudez para mim... É um sinal de amizade e confiança!
- Larry Johnston on I Crushed on Him Before I Knew I Was GayThis is absolutely beautiful Sam. So many memories if similar experiences. Thank you for sharing yours. ❤
- Anthony on What I Want from My Perfect Fantasy GuyWhat about making that fantasy into a prayer experience with Jesus? I don't mean fantasizing about the Lord, but inviting Him into imaginative prayer - asking Him how He might fulfill that longing in a holy way. Any time it turns towards lustful behavior can be rebuked as temptation not from God, but the Lord can absolutely offer holy, masculine, companionship (He did so with John at the Last Supper) - it seems to me that He is no less willing to offer that to us, even if only in prayer this side of heaven.
- Steven C on What Do I Do With My Male Crushes?I've been struggling with the crush feelings towards one of my best friends for a few years now. Sometimes I wanted to shut him out of my life. (My priest friend said no.) Sometimes I wanted to proclaim my undying love for him (My spiritual director said no). Ultimately I'm learning that I see him as my big brother. I value his presence in my life and our level of vulnerability. I need that connection. For more fleeting people out in the world, somewhat like Qothelet, my priest friend and St Agustine seem to be in agreement that we praise...
- Alex on The First Man to Tell Me He Loved MeWow. Relatively simple story. But very powerful. The words “God-ordained” in this in reference to these relationship…pierced my soul. I don’t know everything. I know God’s law of chastity and His definition of marriage. But there is definitely something to be explored with love among men. Still figuring it out for myself.
- David on Euphoric Recall: My Sexual Fantasies NamedMan, this made so many things click for me. I've been doing this for as long as I can remember - playing out fantasies, sexual and non-sexual alike - and it's weird. I've recently noticed a pretty strong correlation with "how much do I fantasize like this" and "how bad do I feel", which makes sense, but I've never heard the term "euphoric recall" until now. I, like many here, have been trying to steward real relationships with real people, instead of fantasizing about abstractions of people that are not really the ones in front of us, even if they...
- Micah on Christmastime Cuddling and the Muddling of TouchI really appreciate your thoughtful comment, Alex. It's great to hear that someone else can relate to this tension, and I loved your input on the thought of separating sexual feelings from sexual intentions.
- Stephen Thompson on The Masculine Uncertainty of Being UncircumcisedI’m 82. In hs and college , there only gang showers. In hs, there six of us in our class who were uncut. No bullying etc but I knew we were a minority. Now when I shower after exercise at my gym, I rarely see an intact penis. I wouldn’t let my son be cut and I haven’t heard any complaints from him. My grandson is intact too. At this age, I’m proud of my intact penis…no shame or avoiding other men in locker room. I’m convinced my sex life is superior to cut guys. My orgasms are truly intense!!...
- SavingSons on The Masculine Uncertainty of Being UncircumcisedIt's not just Europe. It's really anywhere that isn't America or an Islamic theocracy.
Daniel on The Masculine Uncertainty of Being UncircumcisedCome to Europe daaarrlin and be amongst your people in the Turtleneck Club. 🤝🐢 - The Friendless Man on The Healing Power of Holding Hands with Another ManI love the 4Ts framework too. It captures my desires regardless of the label I (or others) attach to myself (me). It's the Physical Transparency for me that raised eyebrows among my (now former 🙁 ) friends. They say I'm in denial about my sexuality and hides behind the 4Ts to take advantage of my male friends.