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Tom on Finding Rest and True Joy at My First YOBBERS RetreatSo glad you made it this year, Kevin! Was awesome meeting you, and now hearing some of your perspective from your first big YOB gathering. I'm also a half-empty kind of guy, and as hard as it is to admit I must often force myself to see the beauty in a situation. These retreats are such vibrant reminders, and I'll ever be grateful for them. Already eager for the next one!
Tom on A Straight Guy Goes on the YOBBERS RetreatMike, you're awesome! I thank God he led you to us, and continues leading you to us, even into the wild and weird and wonderful world of our retreat. Your courage inspires me. And it is a humbling thing indeed when someone tells you "you're the answer to my prayers." In those moments I've heard that, I've considered how it's really good I didn't know that information from the start! Talk about the stakes if I have to live up to THAT. Thankfully God does what God does, often without our knowing. I thank Him for the ignorance many times....
Phill Wilson on I’ve Always Wanted a Big BrotherReading this story took me into deep thought, about my lifelong desire to be a big brother. I'm a protector, by nature. In an unhappy childhood, I used to cry myself to sleep, thinking both about having a younger brother while also being thankful for not having a younger sibling, and seeing them deal with the same dysfunction and emotional abuse, I knew all too well. Today is the day after my first thanksgiving without my mother while she and I had a very strained relationship, I went through a period of deep hurt and anger, resentful of being left...
Drew M on A Straight Guy Goes on the YOBBERS RetreatThank you for this beautiful reflection, Mike. It was SO good to have you at the retreat. Your courage and openness are inspiring, your wit and intelligence are engaging, and it is an honor to know you! I think I was one of those guys who thanked you for being an ally (sorry for any discomfort that caused!). When I referred to you as such, I did not mean in the sociopolitical context of that word, but rather as "someone who sides with or supports." You walk along side and support the YOB community in such a unique and wonderful...
Keegan on Five Retreats Later and I’m Still Figuring This OutThanks for sharing tom!!!
Mike on Five Retreats Later and I’m Still Figuring This OutLeadership can be isolating, and I imagine that feeling is exacerbated if you're an Enneagram Four. I saw how much the guys on the retreat love and respect you, though, Tom. Any group that I was in would have loved to have had you join us in whatever we were doing. I also think it's great that you're getting to know more men in your hometown. In-person interactions allow for an ongoing connectedness that's of a different order even than good on-line relationships.
David on Christians Struggling With HomosexualityTom that's my brother from the same mother, although he goes by Thomas. Any way thank you for your story / blog , I am listening to YCO45 self-care, I have listened to all of 2023s' podcast and started to listen to podcast starting with YCO40 which was as far back as I can go and I can say there are so many things I can relate from the podcasts I have listened to so far, there is so much I can comment from everything I've heard and read. I have struggled as a Christian man with SSA for 16+...
Tom on Am I Masculine Enough? A “Barbie” ReflectionI'm still smiling from your review and connections to your life, Dev. Thanks for this fantastic piece! I thoroughly enjoyed the Barbie movie, and you helped me understand many reasons why, related to my own sense of masculinity. I really hope you write/review other things for us in the future. 🙂
Allen on Am I Masculine Enough? A “Barbie” ReflectionI haven't seen the movie, but this post makes me want to do so! I resonate deeply with the author's feeling of not being a woman, but their world being more comfortable. I struggle with feeling like enough too... Thanks for the reflections!
WaveDave on As Spring Melts the Shame of My SexualityI so enjoyed reading your post! You have a real gift of writing Matthew! I am a very private person by nature, so I have never been able to share much about my life with anyone...that is, until I met the guy I love. His example of openness has done me a world of good and slowly I am able to open up more to people. The deep sharing, the love and encouragement given, the bonds that have become cemented in concrete, and the roots that have gone deep has changed my life more than anything else apart from meeting...
Aaron Schmidt on YOB ConvoCast 063: Matt is Gay and Christian, But Not a Gay ChristianI loved this series Tom! I'm listening again and what Matt says really speaks to me...I mean almost everything! I keep saying, "That's what I think!" I was a little surprised because he usually is mad at you or something and he was really nice. Thanks for doing what you're doing! ✌🏼❤️YOB A-A ron
dm on Christians Struggling With Homosexualitymine is not so nice i do you know any other sites i have been Christian in some form since i was a kid and gay as well my story is not at all nice i had a identy crisis and was molested at some point between 1 and 2 of school i know because i prayed and did reveal it the crisis is still a blank i became a born again 77 came back 78 then lasted to 1983 and soon after gay churchs that back to normal churchs and i spent when iam involved in a church i...
Anonymous on The First Step in My Healing with SexualityWow. I can really relate to a lot of what you feel, Philip. To be honest, we don't know quite what causes homosexual desires to take root. For me, personally, I think it was my rough relationship with my Dad. I love him dearly but he was often so cold and angry. I'm 20 years old and in my 20 years of life, my Dad has broken my heart countless times. I'm trying to forgive him with God's help. I find myself yearning for the love of a man, though - the love that I didn't get from my Dad....
Tom on YOB ConvoCast 068: Keegan Sees the Beauty Beyond One Type of Person as a BisexualThanks for listening and sharing, Kainan. The thing I love about this series is learning all the ways our stories both unite and diverge. I love how diverse we are despite a lot of commonalities, faith-wise and sexuality-wise.
Kainan on YOB ConvoCast 068: Keegan Sees the Beauty Beyond One Type of Person as a BisexualI resonated with both Alex and Keegan's stories of being bisexually attracted and Christian, but of course there were some nuances and I have some thoughts and areas where I would differ based on experience and other matters. I have been trying to navigate this conversation being within the multi-ethnic church planting world in predominantly white and majority-minority, predominantly Black contexts.
Michael on Why I’m Afraid to Take Off My ShirtWow ... I could REALLY identify with this post and the comments ... though to be honest not with the shirtless part of it. Though I am starting to experience that at my age thanks to my belly ha ha. But I love this discussion ... can identify on so many levels. I feel like I could maybe add something that has helped me, but I hesitate ha ha. Not sure it would go over. Great dialogue though!
Chuck on I Prayed for the Love of a Soul BrotherLoved your story! Thanks for being brave enough to share@
Michael Jeremiah Black on The First Relationship I Didn’t Know I WantedMichael, Thank you for reading this piece. I think about this movie and being in a relationship with a guy often even though I know it's not something I know can ever really happen. Being one who was in the life for 29 years, the desire to be with a guy creeps up from time to time. Truth be told, I want to cuddle and be held more than have sex.
Michael on The First Relationship I Didn’t Know I WantedI really liked this post because it was so dang honest. I could identify with a whole lot of it. A whole lot. Thanks for writing this.
zooeyhall on Seeing Myself in the Secret of Crossdressing in “Ed Wood”Movie critic Gene Siskel in his review of "Ed Wood" stated that it should be required viewing in every film school. Because it shows a man with such a passion for making movies, despite all the roadblocks put in his way. It's an inspiring movie, as you point out, about sticking to your dreams and following your passions in life. There's one scene in the movie, where a high-ranking studio executive at Universal Studios mocks Ed's movies. "The worst movie I ever saw", he declares. And a basically writes-off Ed Wood as a "nobody". Yet here we are in the...
Tom on Another Sexual Addiction Begins with PornographyI think we can all remember that first time technology and social media snared us for the first time. I vividly remember Facebook and YouTube teaming up to get me as a 19-year-old. At first I felt super guilty about following that rabbit trail, but I've long since reconciled that if it didn't find me at 19, it'd have found me at 20 or 21 or certainly 36. Porn is just everywhere; there's no escape, it seems. I can't imagine what these next generations will have to face with all the tech advances coming and already here. Thanks for being...
Sam on Male Nudity Will Fix MeYou should check out a traditional Korean Spa
Tom on When Body Image Meets the Reality of AgingLove your added perspective to our community, Mike! I'll remember your YMCA joke until the day I die haha. Classic. Now that I've entered my mid-30s (late 30s??), I am starting to think about aging and body image more than ever. I know I'm still "young" in the grand scheme of things, but certainly not as young as I used to be. Makes me all the more grateful for an intergenerational community like YOB. Indeed, nobody is alone in his age bracket, along with the insecurities that may come with it.
Michael on When Body Image Meets the Reality of AgingI think that's a healthy effect (can be) of the locker room ... that you can see guys older than you and get an idea of what it might be like to become that age.
Mike on When Body Image Meets the Reality of AgingBenjamin, to tell you the truth, 40 wasn't bad. 50 wasn't bad. And so far 60 hasn't been bad. For me what has made all the difference is whether I have friends and reach out to them.