Recent Comments

  • Daniel Marquez on The Most Stressed I’ve Been Leading Our Retreat🥺🥺 Soooo fuuunnnn to be able to see you all again this yeaaar! ♥️♥️♥️
  • Nobody on I’ve Always Wanted a Big BrotherI am the eldest son in my family. Since, childhood I wanted to have a elder brother. As a child, I even asked my parents, if I can get a elder brother, anyhow, but I think they laughed it off. Of course, it was a silly demand...but anyways. My desire to have an elder brother is still alive. I want him to love me, protect me, support me, smack me, scold me, fight with me. But above all love, care and understanding exists between us. I could only wish to get my brother, one day. Beacuse being the elder son...
  • Thomas Mark Zuniga on I Just Want to Understand the Other BoysYou really hit the nail on the head, Sam, talking about this innocent curiosity with how the other boys "work." I like that word you used – tick. I was so fascinated with this ticking all through adolescence. And the ticking only grew more and more sexual the older I got. You described this well as someone with a disability, no doubt amplifying that feeling of different-ness with the other boys. I felt it a little on the outside, but also a lot on the inside. It always felt like I was on a totally different wavelength from everyone else...
  • James P on Am I Actually in Touch with My Feelings as a Gay Man?Interesting post, Thomas. We all struggle with our emotions sometimes. I found the book, The Velvet Rage, helpful for getting in touch with some of the emotions I had always tried to push away. Peace.
  • AJ on I Just Want to Understand the Other BoysWithout being too cheesy: me too! I have long felt a certain level of social and physical deformity which causes me to observe other guys in wonder. I have also traced its origins to different insecurities, bullying, and happenstance. My greatest lust was (is?) to see and to be seen in full, vulnerable nakedness and then accepted. The greatest healing has come from coming to know the charitable love of Jesus. This grants the space to learn to be emotionally and socially vulnerable. It's my true desire, it doesn't pervert the bond of brotherhood with lust, and it has helped...
  • Mark on I Just Want to Understand the Other BoysThank you so much for sharing this Sam. I appreciate your vulnerability and definitely can relate to what you say here in many ways! I also have wounds from the gym and experiences from my childhood and body shame. What I have learned about SSA is that it is a "wanting to connect" (dopamine) combined with a fear/wounds (epinephrine). You wanted to be like the other boys and connect with them and be accepted, but the teasing and insecurities also created a lot of pain for you. This is a very powerful cocktail of emotions and is based off of...
  • Steven C on The First Relationship I Didn’t Know I WantedSometimes the romantic or sexual comes to my mind, but mostly what I want is just a really good roommate or brother. I try to remind myself of that when temptations come. It's also why I try to stay away from such films (or worse), because I don't want to get distracted from that. I have been very blessed to live with some guys and form those deeper relationships. Unfortunately, we don't live together anymore, but we're still pretty close.
  • Marshall on YOB ConvoCast 054: Tom & Marshall, Ever the Groomsmen, Never the Groom!FYI here is a video clip of the hourglass I mentioned. Intro https://youtu.be/24tMJkjyniE End https://youtu.be/lGV5i_l65PA
  • Victor on Is Being “Side B” Just Internalized Homophobia?Interesting post Eugene. However I don't think we should buy the concepts that lgtb agenda throws at us like, Internalize Homophobia. I think is natural to have an adversion to sexual deviations like ssa is. On the other hand understanding the background of hurting people like us, with this condition. To me IH is just a manipulate concept to make us feel there is something wrong if we don't embrace what is the result of traumatic issues in our lives.
  • Taylor on The First Relationship I Didn’t Know I WantedThat was beautifully said. Thank you for sharing these thoughts. 🙂 I can relate to a lot of what you said.
  • Mark on Am I Actually in Touch with My Feelings as a Gay Man?Thank you for your vulnerability and sharing this Tom! It seems like stuffing or ignoring emotions is a common thing for guys that struggle with porn and sex and instead of listening and understanding emotions and handling them in a healthy way, we just act out because those emotions get trapped and porn or acting out sexually is a way to release them... Maybe we didn't have parents that were attuned to our needs and taught us how, but they say it is a skill that can be learned. Anger is also a way that emotions manifest when not handled...
  • AJ on Am I Actually in Touch with My Feelings as a Gay Man?I am also one who promotes the stoic outlook, and I have realized that feelings must be dealt with. I resonate with the exhaustion with therapy. I haven't even been at it that long, but I sometimes just want to feel normal. I don't think that's a bad thing, nor do I think stoicism is always a bad thing either. If I look at Christ's example, it is one of charity so I presume maturity is something like this: 1) know thyself (and thy feelings); 2) deal with thyself (and thy feelings); 3) get over thyself and focus on others....
  • Mike Spivey on Am I Actually in Touch with My Feelings as a Gay Man?You talk about social media being a trigger for feelings of jealousy and inferiority. There's a well-documented mental health crisis among college-age students, and one of the primary causes appears to be the rise of social media over the last several years. For all the ways in which social media helps us connect with each other, it also has had lots of negative effects, including the ease in which it can produce those feelings of jealousy and inferiority.
  • Victor on My Straight Friend Won’t Touch MeCan u elaborate?
  • Victor on My Straight Friend Won’t Touch MeI was in a situation like that twice. And I think the lord Revealed to me to get out of the equation. In other words, I stopped seeking physical touch of any kind with these friends. It worked. I felt better and more at peace vs. been longing for a hug that never came but it seemed that could happened anytime. That wanting in vain was a torture. These 2 guys I mentioned , seemed to have ssa issues too. They seemed to want to hug me but at the last second, they withdrew. Got myself out of that drama...
  • Steven Cheshko on My Aquarium of Sexual DesireThe little non-descript fish speaks to me so much especially at the place in my journey right now. A lot of my attraction seems to be just liking that beauty, and right now one of the greatest beauties is one of my dearest friends. I would love to be able to just sit and stare (or maybe look in a less creepy sounding way) in full knowledge of the other guy instead of just sneaking peaks of dudes.
  • Emil on What’s a Same-Sex Celibate Partnership?Please, don’t give in and don’t ever commit suicide. I hope you haven’t. I am 66, isolated and lonely although I am someone who is decent-looking and is well-liked. You are worthy of love, even if you can’t have the intimacy. I’ve decided to check out volunteering and to start writing a blog. I’m also starting to fill my apartment with plants, and they are living things share in life with me. Don’t give up. God bless you.
  • Emil on What’s a Same-Sex Celibate Partnership?I think many of us fail to persevere, And that might come from having it all when we were young. this is not bragging at all, but just a realization I’ve had. I was rather “desired“ from high school until I quit going to the bars at 44. Now, being Catholic and celibate, I am alone and suffer from depression and anxiety, although I’m good with God. Have you found somebody to be your friend? I hope you do. I will be praying for you. I’m also going to contact as many people as possible – and I just decided...
  • Thomas Mark Zuniga on Gay and Disabled – Just Like MeI love getting this glimpse of college Sam! Thanks for taking us into this time capsule with you, brother. I think back on the college students I interacted with back in my own day, and I wonder how things may have turned out if there had been any openness about our sexuality, on either side. I also wonder if I'd have been ready for such an encounter in my late teens? Perhaps everything happened in its own time, despite wondering how much further "ahead" I'd be in my life had things gone differently in so many ways, particularly in my...
  • Luke Atkins on Gay and Disabled – Just Like MeHi! Thank you for sharing! I’m gay and disabled too and I appreciate the open-ness and activism!
  • Thomas Mark Zuniga on My Aquarium of Sexual DesireJeff, I tend to notice a lot of sarcasm from you with your comments. Would love to learn which fish indeed occupy your aquarium!
  • Jeff Brady on My Aquarium of Sexual DesireSo Ryan, I have piranhas in my aquarium. They are vicious. What do I do?
  • Michael Jeremiah Black on One Day You’ll Actually See Me, MomTom, This was so important to me. Like you said, it was for my physical and emotional well-being. I knew others would resonate with parts of this and I was right. I had 14 YOBBERS contact me via DM, texts or calls to tell me how they I appreciated my writing this piece. So many of them have been wanting to talk their parents about their sexuality and other things for years, but haven't because they just wanted to keep the peace. I don't expect everyone to be like me, but I do think it is important for guys like...
  • Michael Jeremiah Black on One Day You’ll Actually See Me, MomTroy, Thank you for your kind words and taking the time to reading this piece. Writing this was something that was important to me and I knew it was important to others but they haven't yet found their voice to let their parents know how they felt when it comes to their sexuality and any other things they've kept in for so many years. I just got to the point where I needed to get it out for my own physical and mental health whether she got hurt our not. Thank you, again!
  • Jacob on The Fetish I Can’t Talk AboutWell guys I have a fetish. I will be open about mine. Oddly enough mine is. Haircut fetish. It’s an obsession and a attraction. However it is main to same sex. Which made sexual identity a struggle, I can tell you that what I am attracted to feels wrong. I try not to feed it. But turn away. God has started to take away the shame. But the desires are still at heart. Please feel free to ask questions.