Walking into manhood has felt less like an epic saga and more like stumbling drunkenly and blindly through the valley of death and dying. I tried to find my strength, fortitude, and the path to manhood on my own; years later, I still come up short. My feelings of inadequacy pointed to where I was wounded and by whom. My dad made it clear that my mannerisms made me different, and there my obsession began. Years of self-correction amounted to nothing and my effeminate mannerisms gave away my secret shame. I was not masculine and had no idea how I’d get to the promised land. I didn’t know there was a way and that it can be revealed to us in other godly men. That there are parts of me, however wild and foolish, that can be safely explored in the company of peers. After two decades, I finally found myself back to a place where I was free enough to explore the tenets of manhood and masculinity without having to embrace them. If I were to list what I thought those attributes are, I’m sure my list would differ from yours. I began to understand what I was groomed […]

I don’t know that I have permission to read these stories. My new friend, Henry, said as a puzzled look hit my face. He must have noticed, because he scratched his chin as he leaned back to consider it. I followed suit, ruminating further. “It’s so personal,” Henry continued. “And I guess I just don’t feel like I can relate to it. I’m not part of that community. I don’t have that struggle. It gives me insight, for sure. But I can only see so much before it feels like I’m intruding.” The pieces started sliding together. “So, you feel that, in order to be a reader, you have to be a part of that community?” I clarified. Henry nodded. I continued. “So, even if you are given permission to read these stories, you still feel that you should refrain, correct?” Henry agreed with my statement. I thanked him for his input and turned around to keep working. But I couldn’t shake his words out of my mind. Something was still missing. If it’s not permission to read our stories that he needs, and the insight is still not enough to help him feel welcome, what else does he need? […]

I met my new friend, Henry, about a year ago. Great guy, my age, married with a daughter slightly older than mine — he was literally another me as far as life situations go. My prayer for connection with someone in my exact life state was placed on a silver platter in my church. In every other way, though, Henry and I are different. OSA guy from a small town, no major struggles with sex or lust, no mental illnesses, still close with his parents and siblings, into the stereotypical man stuff — a seemingly ideal everything. Literally my opposite. After our first conversation, I wondered if we would ever be able to talk again, considering our differences. One day, my new friend and I were talking as he expounded upon his dilemma: should he stay working at the church or quit to pursue his small business? His clientele was increasing; it would be plausible to live off his business. He brought it up to me, seeking my advice. Initially, I was happy to counsel my friend. But an undercurrent of emotions distracted me. I held my tongue. My best advice waited behind what I really wanted — for him […]

Join Tom and Elliott on our second episode of the YOBcast Rehash! Click here if you missed our premiere episode on gay perceptions. In this episode, we rehash some feedback from our sports podcast episode — while walking through a babbling brook, no less! And don’t worry: we talk about that name that some people seem to dislike. Enjoy our second Rehash, and don’t forget to comment below! What’s your favorite sport? Do sports have a “point”? Ever been river-walking?! Got a better sounding “a-name” for the YOBcast Rehash?

It’s hard to believe the YOBcast has now existed for an entire year! In this special anniversary episode, Tom and Elliott and six additional blogging brothers unite for a fun hour of reminiscing over the last year and ponder the age-old question: if you could push a big red button and erase your homosexuality, would you push it? As always, we need to thank our faithful Patreon supporters. This episode — or any other episode from the last year — would not be possible without you. You fuel our show and our spirits more than you know. Thank you, YOBBERS! If you love the YOBcast and believe in everything else we’re doing at YOB, would you consider supporting us financially? Even $5/month covers our yearly domain costs and helps us do more of what we love: tell stories. Just $5/month also grants you access to our secret, patron-only Facebook group where you can contribute content for future podcasts, attend monthly Facebook Live video sessions with Tom and Elliott, and connect with fellow supporters and bloggers alike. Our Patreon community now boasts over 100 members from around the world! We’d love you to join us, too. Visit our Patreon page for more information. Our podcast […]

Well! We’re back to Matt’s crazy sex stories! It’s been a while since I wrote about my hookups with other guys. As I’ve prefaced in previous posts, if you are unable to read a post like this due to its subject matter, DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER! Okay, now that that’s out of the way let’s get down to the nitty-gritty! I hooked up with a lot of guys and didn’t think twice about what I was doing. All I knew was that I was having a great time having sex with very attractive guys, feeding all my desires. I made friends with my hookups, and if we had a connection during or after sex, we exchanged numbers or social media info. I also wasn’t responsible in my promiscuity, hardly practicing safe sex. I became friends with one particular hookup; let’s call him Adrian. We established a pretty interesting friendship. Adrian was a very young person and still lived with his family. Being kind of crazy, I came over his house and sneaked in through his window, either at night or very early in the morning, and we did what we did. After some time, Adrian got a boyfriend and […]