Eugene Heffron

The Struggle to Forgive Yourself for Sexual Failures

During one phone call, things took an unusual turn. He confided that he’d started talking to a guy. They’d started out on a Skype call together which had turned very sexual. He told me how deeply ashamed this call had made him, and he seemed to break on the phone. “Am I still a virgin?” he asked. “I feel like I’ve lost my virginity after this. I’ve done something sexual with a guy, and I can’t take it back!”

The First Same-Sex Attracted Christian Man I Met

I enjoyed telling him my story and my struggles with faith and sexuality. I could talk to him about my failings and slip-ups and didn’t feel any judgment or disapproval. I talked to him about my deep loneliness, longing for brotherhood and friendships – to be accepted by other men and yet met with rejection or cold indifference. It felt liberating talking to someone about this stuff for the first time.

Why You Should Pursue “Side B” Community

Our community is like a family. These past few years I’ve grown such a huge family, far beyond my biological one. It’s like I have cousins and, yes, brothers living in cities all over the world – family who would offer me a couch if ever I passed through town. That is an incredible feeling.

Why I Love “Stand By Me”

“Stand By Me” makes me pine for what I wish I could have had in my childhood but also makes me grateful for the friendships I have now as an adult. So, where to begin with this movie? Honestly, there’s a lot. The movie’s focus is the relationships among the four boys. They all come from broken families and bond together to form their own family.

Befriending Straight Guys: The Final Frontier

Ah, straight guys — also known as “the normal ones.” What a load of complicated feelings I have toward them. I see straight guys now and again in groups together. It evokes more of an emotional longing. A deeply profound longing. It’s a feeling of wanting to be like them, to be one of them. To be normal and accepted by ordinary men and be like ordinary men. But it can’t be that way. I’m different.

Is Being “Side B” Just Internalized Homophobia?

Do I live the way I live purely because of the way I was raised? Do I still harbor any internalized homophobia of myself and others? Is that why I’m “Side B”? Is this all coming from a place of pious self-righteousness?

Revoice 2019: So Much to Learn and Love

Several of our authors recently attended Revoice 2019 in St. Louis. We gathered to discuss the second annual conference: our personal highs, challenges, and hopes for future Revoice conferences.

I Was Fifteen Minutes Away from the PULSE Shooting

In my pre-YOB days, I still felt a lot of self-loathing and internalized homophobia over my sexuality and had yet to come to terms with it. I spent that whole day unsure what to think or feel about PULSE. Dismayed by seeing so many people brutally murdered, of course, yet conflicted about how I felt about my convictions with my own sexuality.

Please Don’t Let Our Second YOBBERS Retreat Suck

We recently held our second annual YOBBERS retreat: a weekend gathering for our financial supporters and community members on Patreon. Several of our authors attended, and we discussed our time together — both highs and lows — in the Blue Ridge Mountains.

Why I Love “Band of Brothers”

I’m grateful “Band of Brothers” introduced me to the concept of true brotherhood at a young age. Had I not seen it, I may have grown up thinking the only type of intimacy between people is sex. At long last, I feel like I have found my band of brothers here at YOB and in the “Side B” world at large: men who know me, love me, and will be there for me, even at the end.