Tag: courage
“Coming Out” of the Country: Learning Who God Is
It was an unfamiliar city on the other side of the world, and not one soul knew who I was and what I was about. For the first time in my life I felt free, unrestricted to do anything and be anything I wanted to be. What will I do? Where will I go? Where will God take me? Who’s God again?
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YOBcast Episode 055: Mentors
In the spirit of resolutions, self-improvement, and growth in this new year, we’re talking about mentors: those wise, sage-like figures who guide us through this life. Tom, Ryan, and Jacob talk about their favorite mentors in books and movies, sharing some of their own mentorship experiences from years past. What qualities do all these figures share in common? We also discuss the concept of mentoring a new generation — including whether we feel we’re even capable of such a thing. It’s an awesome kickstart to a new year and a new decade as we recommit to producing two podcast episodes per month!
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I’m Just Not That Into Physical Touch Anymore
I actually find myself decreasingly needing — or even desiring — touch with other men. It’s not completely gone, mind you. But the need/desire is considerably less. This is a fairly new development. I’m still unpacking the reasons, but I have some theories based on how my male friendships have transpired the last decade — many of them imploding.
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The Day I Came Out to My Wife
And so, as we walked through a local park, barely past our first month of dating, I told her about my same-sex attraction. I told her of my failed dating history, that I wasn’t sure I could be attracted to women, that most men who were SSA, despite years of prayer and trying to make things work, would not be attracted to women and that my SSA would possibly never go away.
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Why I Go to Pornography: Kicking Off #NoPornNovember
I usually head to porn when I’m stressed, anxious, confused, tired. My counselor once asked me if I go to porn to feel power, to be in control. My first response was no — I don’t feel powerful at all when I seek out porn. I feel weak and helpless. But maybe there is a control aspect to my porn usage.
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What Happened After Coming Out at My Christian Camp
One night, I had a sexual dream about one of the male cabin leaders. I didn’t want my past to ruin the summer and my connections with the other male staff. On several previous occasions, telling my story had helped me break down some of the awkwardness I felt. So, I grabbed the cabin leader supervisor and shared my story with him.
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I Still Struggle to be Vulnerable
The seemingly deepest parts of my life are on display for the world to see. And yet there are a few things that I keep close — secret — from those closest to me. Because I am afraid of being vulnerable with them. I’m not talking about “coming out” — I’m talking about the matters at my very core that influence my actions in ways few could ever imagine.
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How Joshua Harris’s Church Was Safe for Me
Joshua Harris pastored my church for over ten years. To our surprise, he recently announced he is divorcing his wife and and that he is no longer a Christian! Additionally, he has adopted a “Side A” gay-affirming belief. Despite all this drama and the church’s many other issues, this place has been of some help to guys dealing with same-sex attraction.
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Do I Follow the God of Yes or the God of No?
Right on cue, in walks that cute guy again. Instantly, I’m back to spiraling, back to wondering if this faith thing can really work out in the end, or if I’m actually as crazy as I sound when I tell someone I’m pursuing celibacy. It’s in these moments that God feels like the eternal God of “no” — no sex, no boyfriend, no husband, no romance, no intimacy. No love. God becomes the God who won’t let me eat the fruit from the one tree I’m craving, instead of the God who provided an entire garden just for me.
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Do Our Stories Actually Point to Jesus?
Stories have power, and people love them for it. As such, that power can misused. The power of a story can be wielded in a way that causes untold damage and pain. As I’ve done more and more to reach LGBTQ+ individuals outside the church, I’ve had to face a stark reality: Christians have abused select people’s stories to the detriment of the Gospel.
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