courage Archives • Your Other Brothers

Here and Queer: Redeeming My Sexual and Gender Identity

by Dean Samuels | Aug 13, 2019 | Lifestories | 14

I’m queer. That is how I now identify my sexuality. And it’s how I can best define my experience of gender, too. In my pursuit to grow more like Christ, I was setting aside part of my life as a mystery spot. How could I submit my sexuality to Christ if I didn’t even know what it was?

Saying Goodbye to Emotional Dependency — and My Best Friend

by Ben Rutkowski | Aug 9, 2019 | Lifestories | 34

A point came in our relationship when I realized just how dependent I was on him and just how one-sided our friendship was. For my own well-being, I needed to step away from the relationship. What follows is the lament and reflection I wrote in saying “goodbye” to our friendship.

Running from the Call to Come Out

by Aaron | Aug 6, 2019 | Lifestories | 35

When the call came, it wasn’t that I couldn’t hear it; it was that I had no interest in obeying. For Jonah, that call was Nineveh. For me? It was coming out. My “solution” for my sexuality was quite simple: I’d tell no one, become straight, and then move on with my life. A secret I’d die keeping rather than ever share; I could hardly admit it to myself, let alone another human.

Straight Men are Scary

by Thomas Mark Zuniga | Jul 31, 2019 | Lifestories | 32

Straight men have always been scary. They’ve long been “the other,” going all the way back to first grade. We may not share the same tastes for sports and media consumption, but we still share a common masculine heart. One fraught with hauntingly familiar masculine thorns.

Is Being “Side B” Just Internalized Homophobia?

by Eugene Heffron | Jul 23, 2019 | Lifestories | 27

Do I live the way I live purely because of the way I was raised? Do I still harbor any internalized homophobia of myself and others? Is that why I’m “Side B”? Is this all coming from a place of pious self-righteousness?

7 Stages of Coming Out: Inadequacy & Requirement

by Daniel Marquez | Jul 16, 2019 | Lifestories | 7

Last month, I wrote about my botched attempt at sharing my story at a church for the first time. Since then, I realised, I’ve never really reflected back on my comings out. Taken a birds-eye view of things, processing the other times I’ve communicated my sexuality to other people. Until today.

Am I Man Enough for This Team?

by Kevin Zimmerman | Jul 12, 2019 | Lifestories | 9

The voices flooded my mind. How useless am I not to protect the females on the team? I am so weak. I am nothing like the other guys on the team. What am I even doing here?! With all that had been going on, my team director decided to have a chat with me.

Flirting With Temptation? When My Pastor Pulled Me from Ministry

by Ben Rutkowski | Jul 2, 2019 | Lifestories | 22

We will face temptation in this life. There is greater nuance for those of us with fellow “Side B” relationships, as the gender with whom we often need the closest relationships is the gender we are also generally attracted to. Temptation will happen, but it cannot be the only — or primary — litmus test for whether we can be safe in friendship.

Sharing My Story at a Church for the First Time?

by Daniel Marquez | Jun 28, 2019 | Lifestories | 10

The Sunday service started, and I was excited to speak. I’d been praying for this moment for quite a while now — I was about to give my testimony in front of a whole church. The service started, and two songs into worship I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was the pastor, and he was motioning me back to his office…

Taking Up Courage with Masculinity at the YOBBERS Retreat

by Thomas Mark Zuniga | Jun 25, 2019 | Lifestories | 17

Of our five values, I felt a lot of vibes for “courage” going into the YOBBERS retreat this year. I just had a feeling I’d be on the Courage Tribe, because boy have I needed courage this year. Boy, do I need courage still. Sure enough, I did wind up on Courage this year. Turns out I wasn’t the only one with courageous inclinations.