Tag: courage
This Secret Longing to be Held by a Stronger Man
I yearn to be held by a bigger, stronger man, to rest in his powerful arms, to lay my head on his chest. I ache for this; I dwell on this desire a lot. I suppose, given the nature of this website, my admission surprises approximately nobody. But it’s hard to admit.
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The Coronavirus Pandemic and the “Side B” Community’s Special Role in the Church
Before all the lockdowns started as the coronavirus pandemic spread around the world, I started writing this reflection about how my experience in the “Side B” bubble could play a bigger part in the Church and, in turn, the wider world around me. When this whole pandemic broke out I thought, What better time to play our part but now?
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Corona ConvoCast 06: Tom and Daniel Zoom Across the Pond!
Tom welcomes new-ish author, Daniel, to the YOB airwaves for the first time! Daniel shares about life in the UK during this coronavirus pandemic and how his family is doing in the Philippines. The guys also talk about how “Side B” folks are uniquely prepared for something like this pandemic and how our mission of loving God and loving people has never been clearer.
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The Struggle to Forgive Yourself for Sexual Failures
During one phone call, things took an unusual turn. He confided that he’d started talking to a guy. They’d started out on a Skype call together which had turned very sexual. He told me how deeply ashamed this call had made him, and he seemed to break on the phone. “Am I still a virgin?” he asked. “I feel like I’ve lost my virginity after this. I’ve done something sexual with a guy, and I can’t take it back!”
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YOBcast Episode 060: Fear
The coronavirus pandemic has consumed the planet. In this time of widespread uncertainty, how do we not be afraid? What other things in life cause us dread? Join Tom, Ryan, and Jacob for what’s sure to be a “time capsule” of a podcast. We dive into how the current coronavirus crisis is affecting our daily lives, and we also cast the conversation beyond this pandemic – starting with our relational fears, and then spreading to fears for our sexuality and spiritual fears. Namely, we ask this question: is Jesus enough? What if He isn’t?
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Am I a Burden or a Gift to the Church as a Gay Celibate Man?
To many Christians, I am a burden. I have strong faith convictions, and I try to live according to those convictions. I love studying the Bible and find joy in my faith. I also give up a lot. Living the celibate life is not easy at times. But all too often the burden of this celibate gay/SSA life is only increased by the church.
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YOBcast Episode 058: Loneliness v. Solitude
Have you ever felt lonely within your sexuality? Do you choose loneliness or does loneliness choose you? Extroverted or introverted, do you embrace regular solitude, treating it as a spiritual practice? Join Tom, Ryan, and Jacob for a discussion on the divergence of loneliness and solitude. We talk about the healthy and not-so-healthy ways we cope with loneliness and how we seek out solitude. Additionally, we talk about the dynamic of living alone or with others as single gay/SSA men, forecasting our living situations for the decades to come.
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Deciding to Love Others More Affectionately
In the year of our Lord two thousand and nineteen, a fun idea came to mind. Instead of coming up with a new year’s resolution that would require me to exert some striving effort or discipline, I thought of a fun goal for the year instead. I wrote something in my prayer journal; it’s a prayer that became my goal for the year. But what did “To love more affectionately and not robotically” actually mean?
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Do I Still Pray the Gay Away?
When they hear I’m attracted to men but married to a woman, straight people, particularly Christians, sometimes ask if I expect my attractions to “change” in this life. For the longest time, I prayed for God to change my attractions. To make me straight. I do still pray about my sexuality, but I don’t pray that God would change my attractions to heterosexual.
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YOBcast Episode 057: Gay Sex and Hookups
What led to your having gay sex for the first time? Can you separate the physical from the emotional in gay sex? How many times have you had gay sex, and would you consider yourself a sex addict? It’s a throwback episode with three of our original YOB cofounders: Tom, Dean, and Matt. We talk with Matt about his journey and struggles with gay sex and hookups. It’s a raw, courageous chronicling of his story as a pastor’s kid – a story still being written to this day. We also catch up with Dean and Matt from the last year or so, including Dean’s recent exploits to Canada (and questionable Canadian accent) and Matt’s sarcastic sense of humor (or actual disappointment) with Tom…
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