Tag: courage

The Day I Came Out to My Wife

And so, as we walked through a local park, barely past our first month of dating, I told her about my same-sex attraction. I told her of my failed dating history, that I wasn’t sure I could be attracted to women, that most men who were SSA, despite years of prayer and trying to make things work, would not be attracted to women and that my SSA would possibly never go away.

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What Happened After Coming Out at My Christian Camp

One night, I had a sexual dream about one of the male cabin leaders. I didn’t want my past to ruin the summer and my connections with the other male staff. On several previous occasions, telling my story had helped me break down some of the awkwardness I felt. So, I grabbed the cabin leader supervisor and shared my story with him.

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I Still Struggle to be Vulnerable

The seemingly deepest parts of my life are on display for the world to see. And yet there are a few things that I keep close — secret — from those closest to me. Because I am afraid of being vulnerable with them.  I’m not talking about “coming out” — I’m talking about the matters at my very core that influence my actions in ways few could ever imagine.

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How Joshua Harris’s Church Was Safe for Me

Joshua Harris pastored my church for over ten years. To our surprise, he recently announced he is divorcing his wife and and that he is no longer a Christian! Additionally, he has adopted a “Side A” gay-affirming belief. Despite all this drama and the church’s many other issues, this place has been of some help to guys dealing with same-sex attraction.

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Do I Follow the God of Yes or the God of No?

Right on cue, in walks that cute guy again. Instantly, I’m back to spiraling, back to wondering if this faith thing can really work out in the end, or if I’m actually as crazy as I sound when I tell someone I’m pursuing celibacy. It’s in these moments that God feels like the eternal God of “no” — no sex, no boyfriend, no husband, no romance, no intimacy. No love. God becomes the God who won’t let me eat the fruit from the one tree I’m craving, instead of the God who provided an entire garden just for me.

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Do Our Stories Actually Point to Jesus?

Stories have power, and people love them for it. As such, that power can misused. The power of a story can be wielded in a way that causes untold damage and pain. As I’ve done more and more to reach LGBTQ+ individuals outside the church, I’ve had to face a stark reality: Christians have abused select people’s stories to the detriment of the Gospel.

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Self-Hatred and the Struggles of Being Gay

As a kid, I said a lot of derogatory things about LGBTQ+ people. I cringe at the things I remember saying. When I realized I was gay, all of that hatred that I showed to others turned in on myself. That realization drove me to reparative therapy. The logic makes sense: I hate gay people, I am gay — thus, I need to not be gay.

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