Back in my teens, I desperately wanted to be straight. Years later, I’m less concerned about God’s changing my sexuality and more concerned about walking in thriving relationship with Christ — which also includes holiness with my sexuality. I believe what Scripture says regarding a traditional sexual ethic. But more than that, I believe in the God behind that ethic and that his Word is still good for me, even if it’s not always easy to follow.
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A point came in our relationship when I realized just how dependent I was on him and just how one-sided our friendship was. For my own well-being, I needed to step away from the relationship. What follows is the lament and reflection I wrote in saying “goodbye” to our friendship.
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We will face temptation in this life. There is greater nuance for those of us with fellow “Side B” relationships, as the gender with whom we often need the closest relationships is the gender we are also generally attracted to. Temptation will happen, but it cannot be the only — or primary — litmus test for whether we can be safe in friendship.
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Several of our authors recently attended Revoice 2019 in St. Louis. We gathered to discuss the second annual conference: our personal highs, challenges, and hopes for future Revoice conferences.
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I like men in more than just a friendly way. I am a man who is attracted emotionally and sexually to other men. I am also married to a woman, attracted only to her out of all the women on earth. Somehow, it works. I am queer. And for much of my life, that has terrified me.
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