About The Author

Ryan Burger

Reporting LIVE from the tension between hope and reality, between longing and obedience: inveterate single, complete cheeseball, total nerd, bewildered homeowner, serial relaxer, long-time Jesus-needer. I live in Raleigh, North Carolina, and I am a software developer by trade. My passion is helping non-straight followers of Jesus discover their place in the body of Christ. All my “comfort music” is about being far from home and/or returning home. I'm an Enneagram 9 if you’re into that sort of thing. I have recently started reading poetry for fun; please send me your recommendations!

YOBcast Episode 056: Pornography

Do we talk about pornography too much as the Church or not nearly enough? Do we “talk about talking about” pornography or do we actually talk about it? Pornography is more accessible than ever before and, increasingly, more aggressive. It’s a struggle and an addiction that has reached and claimed all people: gay, straight, men, and women. Join Tom, Ryan, and Jacob as we take a deep dive into the science and story of pornography. It’s one of our classic episodes that we’re reopening in a new way.

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YOBcast Episode 055: Mentors

In the spirit of resolutions, self-improvement, and growth in this new year, we’re talking about mentors: those wise, sage-like figures who guide us through this life. Tom, Ryan, and Jacob talk about their favorite mentors in books and movies, sharing some of their own mentorship experiences from years past. What qualities do all these figures share in common? We also discuss the concept of mentoring a new generation — including whether we feel we’re even capable of such a thing. It’s an awesome kickstart to a new year and a new decade as we recommit to producing two podcast episodes per month!

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YOBcast Episode 054: Holiday Singleness

It’s an undoubtedly difficult season for many in our community, and we talk about singleness during the holidays: the disconnect, the loneliness, and the finding of hope and joy when hope and joy may feel so far away. Tom, Ryan, and Jacob share their stories of holidays past and present, answering some listener questions along the way, including the concept of spending the holidays with chosen family versus blood family, and whether we’ve ever been asked if we’ve found that “special lady” yet.

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YOBcast Episode 053: Brothers! w/ Jacob & Nate

Jacob’s older brother, Nate, joins us for a deep-dive into their relationship: how Jacob came out to his brother, Nate’s reaction as a straight guy, their parents’ dynamic, and their respective struggles with pornography. It’s a cinematic storytelling session full of laughs and tearful takes alike. Beyond their brotherly story, we get to know Nate (including his personality styles and love languages), learn about Nate’s friendship with Tom, and partake in a “brotherly bridge” all about capris. Yes, capris — the pant.

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YOBcast Episode 052: Chosen Family

For better or worse, we all start with families of origin. But what of this concept of families of choice? A chosen family that goes beyond blood and DNA? Join Tom, Ryan, and Jacob for a discussion on chosen family: what it means for the LGBTQ+ community, what it means for believers, and what it means for this overlap of communities in YOB and beyond.

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YOBcast Episode 051: Attachment Styles

We’re diving deeper into emotional attachment with special guest, Taylor Zimmerman! Taylor’s blogged at Spiritual Friendship and spoken at Revoice. He’s a University of Chicago student currently pursuing his third (3rd!) master’s degree with interests in philosophy of religion, theology, and psychoanalysis — and how they all come together. Taylor talks to us about attachment theory and the four attachment styles: secure, ambivalent-preoccupied, dismissing-avoidant, and fearful-avoidant. It’s a fascinating psychological exploration into why we attach to other men the ways we do as gay/SSA (same-sex attracted) men.

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YOBcast Episode 050: Emotional Attachment

We’re back! After a brief summer hiatus, we return with our landmark fiftieth episode. Join Tom, Ryan, and Jacob sharing stories of emotional attachment: the good ways we attach to other men, and the not-so-good ways we attach. It’s a callback to a previous episode on emotional dependency. We differentiate between “dependency” and “attachment” and share both our positive and negative experiences in relationship with other men.

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Revoice 2019: So Much to Learn and Love

Several of our authors recently attended Revoice 2019 in St. Louis. We gathered to discuss the second annual conference: our personal highs, challenges, and hopes for future Revoice conferences.

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Finding Humility Through Beauty at the YOBBERS Retreat

Humility is not about being hard on yourself; it’s about fighting the urge to stand at the center of it all. As I stood there at this year’s YOBBERS retreat, an observer rather than a participant, God reminded me I wasn’t there to get as much as I could get, or even give as much as I could give. The YOBBERS retreat was bigger than me. I didn’t need to stand in the center of anything.

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Please Don’t Let Our Second YOBBERS Retreat Suck

We recently held our second annual YOBBERS retreat: a weekend gathering for our financial supporters and community members on Patreon. Several of our authors attended, and we discussed our time together — both highs and lows — in the Blue Ridge Mountains.

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