Ryan

Reporting LIVE from the tension between hope and reality, between longing and obedience: inveterate single, complete cheeseball, total nerd, bewildered homeowner, serial relaxer, and long-time Jesus-needer. I live in Raleigh, North Carolina, and I am a software developer by trade. My passion is helping non-straight followers of Jesus discover their place in the body of Christ. All my "comfort music" is about being far from home and/or returning home. I'm an Enneagram 9 if you're into that sort of thing. I have recently started reading poetry for fun; please send me your recommendations!
Your Other Brothers Podcast | 101: Hope
YOBcast 101: Hope
We kick off a new year and a new era of YOB with an examination of YOB’s seven values! Starting with HOPE. Tom is joined by Ryan and Aaron to discuss the highs of hope and the lows of despair across the arenas of our masculinity, sexuality, and faith. Where has hoping in something or someone failed us? Where have we felt hope creep into entitlement? As sexual minorities where do we put our hope on this side of eternity?
Your Other Brothers Podcast | 100: The Story of YOB
YOBcast 100: The Story of YOB
After six years we finally arrive at our 100th YOBcast episode! Tom is joined alongside a super-sized cast of Ryan, Aaron, Ben, and Will to commemorate the occasion, recounting favorite jokes, guests, topics, and moments together from the last 100 episodes. We also hear from a slew of listeners (including our favorite guest) and respond to all the feedback! Here's to 100 more, fellow sparrows. Couldn't still be here without you all.
Your Other Brothers Podcast | 098: Side B Resources, Part 1
YOBcast 098: Side B Resources, Part 1
It’s an episode topic long requested and finally tackled as we discuss the world of Side B resources (or, those with a traditional sexual ethic). It's a world that has, thankfully, grown quite a bit in recent years. Join Tom, Ryan, and Aaron for a conversation on our first found Side B resources and then our favorite ones, from books to blogs to various ministries.
Your Other Brothers Podcast | 097: Scripture Stories, Part 2
YOBcast 097: Scripture Stories, Part 2
We open the scroll on our favorite Scripture stories once again, this time with Tom being joined by Ryan and Aaron! We discuss several Old Testament stories like Abraham and Isaac, Jonah, Hosea and Gomer, and Mephibosheth, as well as some New Testament stories like the man born blind, and Jesus and John at the Last Supper. How do these stories hit us in the crosshairs of our faith, sexuality, and masculinity?
My Aquarium of Sexual Desire
My Aquarium of Sexual Desire
How do I deal with unmet sexual desire? It's a question which led me to ask, what is my sexual desire? Of course, "sexual desire" is a category with a lot of things in it. "There's a lot of different fish in that bucket," I told myself. But let's not call it a bucket. Let's call it an aquarium so all the fish have plenty of room to swim around, and so we can get a good look at them.
YOB ConvoCast 045: Ryan Knows What Eggs He Wants as a NINE!
YOB ConvoCast 045: Ryan Knows What Eggs He Wants as a NINE!
Ryan compares himself to how Julia Roberts orders eggs in Runaway Bride, and he also pleads with other types to let him just enjoy his wrong restaurant order! He discusses the Nine's ability to "merge" with other people's passions and personalities in a loss of personal identity, and we read some extensive YOBBER feedback that exchanges "peace" for "unity" as a Nine's primary motivator. We discuss some other feedback about coming out publicly as a Nine versus coming out selectively to "keep the peace." What happens at a church after Ryan comes out and serves in the children's ministry, and some parents are acting a little off? Finally, Ryan shares about the Nine's fear of neediness as he reacts to the neediness in others.
Your Other Brothers Podcast | 095: The Enneagram
YOBcast 095: The Enneagram
We’ve referenced it again and again for dozens of episodes, and now we’re finally devoting an entire episode to the Enneagram! We open up the Enneagram box and share what we’ve found helpful for our personal growth in this trendy personality system. How does the Enneagram impact our self-awareness? And how does this self-awareness impact our view of others? Join Tom, Ryan, and Ben for an overview of the Enneagram! We dive into the stats of all the types in our community and share a little about our own types. And get ready for the YOB ConvoCast summer series to come, featuring discussions with each of the nine types in our community!
Your Other Brothers Podcast | 093: LGBT+ Media
YOBcast 093: LGBT+ Media
We have been blogging and podcasting a lot lately about gay characters or themes in various shows, films, and other media. Should we as Jesus-followers who may also identify as LGBT+ but also follow a traditional sexual ethic be consuming LGBT+ media? What are the potential benefits and costs, and where is the line between what is beneficial, acceptable, distracting, or harmful? How do we interact, if at all, with LGBT+ media? Join Tom, Ryan, and Aaron for this final (for now) discussion on the pros and cons and nuanced middle of LGBT+ media consumption!
Let's Talk About Erections (Again)
Let’s Talk About Erections (Again)
Years ago a YOB post like this initially proved to me that this site had something new and interesting to offer the world. It made me feel seen and understood like almost nothing I had read before. That original post no longer exists here, and I've seen your emails wondering where it went and what frighteningly candid content you can instead send your friends. To answer my own self-doubts above: I believe this post will be valuable to someone. It's important. It's worth it.
Your Other Brothers Podcast | 091: Gay Representation in Media
YOBcast 091: Gay Representation in Media
Do you ever see some of yourself in a character from a book, movie, or TV show? Why is that important? And why is it particularly important to feel represented with our sexuality? When have we found relatable, satisfying LGBT+ characters, if ever, and when have certain characters left us with longing? Is there any hope for a compelling, mostly satisfying “Side B” gay representation in media? Join Tom, Aaron, and Ryan for a discussion Ryan’s been wanting to have for years!
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