masculinity

Loved by God – Even When I Can't Relate
Loved by God – Even When I Can’t Relate
Who am I? This could be a question for self-edification or self-deprecation. A question answered with set shoulders and proud confidence, or a rhetorical question asked to oneself at the depths of loneliness and despair. The best way I have determined to answer that question is I am...loved by
Adrift as a Child or a Man
Adrift as a Child or a Man
I still have that Link costume somewhere in my closet. Perhaps it's the wandering through the woods that I love, the isolation, the music; or, perhaps it's something deeper that has stuck with me after all these years. Perhaps it's that I feel like the protagonist: adrift in time, unsure whether I'm a child or a man. This is how I feel as I move back into my childhood bedroom – the place where my sexual trauma
Let's Talk About Erections (Again)
Let’s Talk About Erections (Again)
Years ago a YOB post like this initially proved to me that this site had something new and interesting to offer the world. It made me feel seen and understood like almost nothing I had read before. That original post no longer exists here, and I've seen your emails wondering where it went and what frighteningly candid content you can instead send your friends. To answer my own self-doubts above: I believe this post will be valuable to someone. It's important. It's worth
Your Other Brothers Podcast | 092: Second Adolescence
YOBcast 092: Second Adolescence
Many gay or SSA folks experience a delayed or second adolescence in adulthood after keeping our sexuality secret in our first adolescence when we unconsciously adapted to the heteronormative culture around us. When we finally do find safe masculine circles, whether within YOB or elsewhere, conversational topics like sex or masturbation, or shared male experiences like nudity and cuddling hold great appeal – if not laced with some of that adolescent immaturity or a tinge (or bucketload) of
What Masculine Strength Looks Like
What Masculine Strength Looks Like
Does nice equal good? Does strong equal toxic? Commiseration is a drink that intoxicates quickly, yet we must weep with those who weep. Am I a man? Am I strong? What am I, and where is my place? What is the nature of masculine
"Handsome Devil," a Side B Sleeper Hit?
“Handsome Devil,” a Side B Sleeper Hit?
Handsome Devil is a very gay movie, but for once a gay movie not focused on sex or even romance; instead, it leans heavily on themes of vulnerability, authenticity, bullying, trauma, masculinity, and most of all, friendship. It checks all the boxes for a Side B sleeper
A Single Gay Man Lost in the Crowd
Being gay has ruined large crowds for me. Something about being surrounded, seen but utterly unknown, twists my soul. And then add to that the layers of guilt I feel. All these couples I'm jealous of because they get to be here together. Or the number of attractive men I see, the number of times I don't control my lustful thoughts. Or worst of all: when I spot a gay couple somewhere out there, and I want to be them, and I wish I
Imprisoned for Being Gay
Imprisoned for Being Gay
Sometimes you just have to be honest with yourself about who you are. After another year and a half in Germany, I woke up one morning, walked down to my first sergeant's office, and told him I was gay – that I didn't want to be in the Army anymore. My colonel had to sign off on that paperwork; he refused. And I was arrested. The Army rushed the investigation, and I was
Your Other Brothers Podcast | 087: Heavy Burdens w/ Bridget Eileen Rivera
YOBcast 087: Heavy Burdens w/ Bridget Eileen Rivera
Bridget Eileen Rivera (from Twitter!) joins us, along with her cat. She’s the author of the new book, Heavy Burdens: Seven Ways LGBTQ Christians Experience Harm in the Church (and just the second woman ever to appear on our show!). We discuss the burdens sexual minorities face regarding matters of so-called “clarity” in Scripture, stereotypical versions of masculinity/femininity, assumed pedophilia when working with children, and forced celibacy. Finally, we ask Bridget if her own choice to pursue celibacy stems from burdensome duty or life-giving
The First Time I Downloaded a Gay Dating App
The First Time I Downloaded a Gay Dating App
I had tasted all these new intense bursts of touch in recent years, perhaps some healthy and others not so much, and during one isolating season I was desperate to share the warmth of masculine flesh again. I was having trouble making friends with other men, though...so where did I turn? To an
>