Musings

You Are Accepted Just as You Are
You Are Accepted Just as You Are
We get asked the why question so much because this life is hard. Being a Christian is hard; being LGBTQ+ is hard. Being both can be exhausting. And it may continue to be exhausting if we don't do the work to understand why it's hard and figure out how to keep
Where Are My Celibate Straight Friends?
Where Are My Celibate Straight Friends?
It seems the only celibate communities forming are only by fellow "Side B" gay Christians, done so out of necessity. That really bothers me. Don't misunderstand me: it is good for celibate gay Christians to form communities. What bothers me, though, is that those communities should have already been started by celibate straight
We Need a New Masculine Narrative
We Need a New Masculine Narrative
When we talk about masculinity, we usually talk like it is something we need to become, instead of something we already are. I think we need to introduce a new masculine narrative: a new narrative that is actually an old one, formed by
Nature vs. Nurture: Was I Born This Way?
Nature vs. Nurture: Was I Born This Way?
It's only human nature to ask these questions of nature vs. nurture. The seeming injustice and sheer unfairness of our sexualities can feel torturous. It seems cruel that we're so different in a way that society considers taboo and the church considers downright
Seeing Myself in the Secret of Crossdressing in "Ed Wood"
Seeing Myself in the Secret of Crossdressing in “Ed Wood”
My teenage self saw a lot of me in Ed Wood. I may not have ever wanted to crossdress, but I still held my own big secret with homosexuality. I identified with this concept of struggling with a secret which society considers
The Danger of Modesty Talks for Men and Women
The Danger of Modesty Talks for Men and Women
In both youth groups and camp ministry, I received the modesty talk on countless occasions. They all had the same basic outline. Our bodies are a temple; we need to keep the temple pure. Anything sexual outside of marriage will dirty the temple. Men are lustful and visual creatures. Women are not as visual and do not deal with lust. I accepted this teaching wholesale. I knew that I was visual, saw my sexuality as a dirty thing, and kept on trying to fight back lust. But I began to notice some problems with modesty
Surviving the Culture War as a "Side B" Believer
Surviving the Culture War as a “Side B” Believer
In my years before finding Your Other Brothers, coming to terms with my sexuality was extremely difficult as it seemed there were only two options for my future. These two options reflected the polarized extremes embodying the culture
How Should a Christian Gay Guy Dress, Speak, and Act?
How Should a Christian Gay Guy Dress, Speak, and Act?
Many conservative Christians believe that gay men should not only give up gay sex but also deliberately choose to dress, speak, and act more masculinely. A well-known Christian ministry posted an article last year that expressed the view that men with feminine mannerisms and dress are literally going to hell if they don't
The Church vs. the LGBTQ+ Community: A More Compelling Narrative?
The Church vs. the LGBTQ+ Community: A More Compelling Narrative?
I feel my Christian community lacking and also the LGBTQ+ community lacking. What is one supposed to do? I think we Christians who are LGBTQ+/SSA can and must push a more compelling narrative – one rooted in the Bible. The church is for all who are repentant, not just the straight ones who are
Isolation Amid Covid-19 and Hope for the Future
Isolation Amid Covid-19 and Hope for the Future
The Covid-19 pandemic has become something of an "isolation equalizer." People everywhere are living in tension and isolation with businesses closed, services restricted, and life as we've known it ground to a halt. We are, all of us, isolated. And yet there is tremendous opportunity to unite in our shared
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