Musings

Gay vs. SSA: The Ultimate Sexuality Label Debate
Gay vs. SSA: The Ultimate Sexuality Label Debate
You're probably reading this thinking, "Oh boy, Eugene is going to settle this debate once and for all on which label is the right one to use!" Nope, that's not the case at all. The simple fact is that both sexuality labels have their benefits, but both are simultaneously problematic. I want to look at both labels and weigh the pros and cons of
"Handsome Devil," a Side B Sleeper Hit?
“Handsome Devil,” a Side B Sleeper Hit?
Handsome Devil is a very gay movie, but for once a gay movie not focused on sex or even romance; instead, it leans heavily on themes of vulnerability, authenticity, bullying, trauma, masculinity, and most of all, friendship. It checks all the boxes for a Side B sleeper
You Need to Do Better
You Need to Do Better
Living this life means recognizing that there are some hard elements to this journey – some of which may always be hard. If I can't make these things any less hard, then I need to have tools to stand up and continue forward, learning, growing, and changing, rather than get beaten down, stagnate, and cease to grow. I need methods to find peace and joy, even in pain. In my last post I said that my answer to thriving begins in Jesus, and I would add that it continues with Jesus as I work through the areas of my life that need attention, healing, growth, and change. In short, I needed to do
The Queerbaiting (or Close Friendship?) of "Luca"
The Queerbaiting (or Close Friendship?) of “Luca”
At its core, Luca is simply about a friendship between two boys. It was refreshing to see a deep, loving friendship between boys; so few movies really show this. In a culture obsessed with romantic relationships, this was wonderful to see. But Luca has also brought some controversy. Some have accused Luca of queerbaiting – that is, hinting at or even promising LGBT+ representation, only not to deliver for fear of the
You Are Accepted Just as You Are
You Are Accepted Just as You Are
We get asked the why question so much because this life is hard. Being a Christian is hard; being LGBTQ+ is hard. Being both can be exhausting. And it may continue to be exhausting if we don't do the work to understand why it's hard and figure out how to keep
Where Are My Celibate Straight Friends?
Where Are My Celibate Straight Friends?
It seems the only celibate communities forming are only by fellow "Side B" gay Christians, done so out of necessity. That really bothers me. Don't misunderstand me: it is good for celibate gay Christians to form communities. What bothers me, though, is that those communities should have already been started by celibate straight
We Need a New Masculine Narrative
We Need a New Masculine Narrative
When we talk about masculinity, we usually talk like it is something we need to become, instead of something we already are. I think we need to introduce a new masculine narrative: a new narrative that is actually an old one, formed by
Nature vs. Nurture: Was I Born This Way?
Nature vs. Nurture: Was I Born This Way?
It's only human nature to ask these questions of nature vs. nurture. The seeming injustice and sheer unfairness of our sexualities can feel torturous. It seems cruel that we're so different in a way that society considers taboo and the church considers downright
Seeing Myself in the Secret of Crossdressing in "Ed Wood"
Seeing Myself in the Secret of Crossdressing in “Ed Wood”
My teenage self saw a lot of me in Ed Wood. I may not have ever wanted to crossdress, but I still held my own big secret with homosexuality. I identified with this concept of struggling with a secret which society considers
The Danger of Modesty Talks for Men and Women
The Danger of Modesty Talks for Men and Women
In both youth groups and camp ministry, I received the modesty talk on countless occasions. They all had the same basic outline. Our bodies are a temple; we need to keep the temple pure. Anything sexual outside of marriage will dirty the temple. Men are lustful and visual creatures. Women are not as visual and do not deal with lust. I accepted this teaching wholesale. I knew that I was visual, saw my sexuality as a dirty thing, and kept on trying to fight back lust. But I began to notice some problems with modesty
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