belonging Archives • Your Other Brothers

1 July 20221 July 2022

YOB ConvoCast 048: Adam Loves/Loathes This Vulnerable Spotlight as a THREE!

Adam makes his YOB podcast debut (or does he??) as he helps us get over the hump of this Enneagram ConvoCast series! As a member of our community he opens up about the need for vulnerability as a Three, along with the core struggle it launches against the impressive persona he strives to present. We ponder the reason why Threes are perhaps the least common type in YOB – and maybe even within the greater "Side B" community? Is it simply because the closet is especially comfortable for a Three and less threatening to their reputation in the Church? Adam also confesses why he thinks Threes are the least desirable type in the Church and how that's impacted his ability to belong as a

by YOB

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27 May 202231 May 2022

YOB ConvoCast 044: Matt Will Love You Long and Hard as an EIGHT!

We kick off our Enneagram ConvoCast series with Mr. Eight himself: Matt! Matt shares with Tom about his motivations, fears, stress, and security as a Type Eight (the Challenger). As a member of our YOB community, how does his Eight-ness manifest in the realms of sexuality, masculinity, and relating with other

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25 May 202225 May 2022

Living on the Rainbow Spectrum: A Queer History Poem

Though we hold certain theological convictions as queer or "Side B" Christians, I was recently reminded we share much history and experience with the greater LGBTQ+ community – which shapes and influences our own lives and experiences. Things are better now than they were sixty years ago, but abuse by religious and secular societies still exist. There is more work to be

by Ben Rutkowski

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18 May 202218 May 2022

Loved by God – Even When I Can’t Relate

Who am I? This could be a question for self-edification or self-deprecation. A question answered with set shoulders and proud confidence, or a rhetorical question asked to oneself at the depths of loneliness and despair. The best way I have determined to answer that question is I am...loved by

by Guest Author

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6 April 20226 April 2022

Adrift as a Child or a Man

I still have that Link costume somewhere in my closet. Perhaps it's the wandering through the woods that I love, the isolation, the music; or, perhaps it's something deeper that has stuck with me after all these years. Perhaps it's that I feel like the protagonist: adrift in time, unsure whether I'm a child or a man. This is how I feel as I move back into my childhood bedroom – the place where my sexual trauma

by Christopher

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Your Other Brothers Podcast | 092: Second Adolescence

12 February 202217 February 2022

YOBcast 092: Second Adolescence

Many gay or SSA folks experience a delayed or second adolescence in adulthood after keeping our sexuality secret in our first adolescence when we unconsciously adapted to the heteronormative culture around us. When we finally do find safe masculine circles, whether within YOB or elsewhere, conversational topics like sex or masturbation, or shared male experiences like nudity and cuddling hold great appeal – if not laced with some of that adolescent immaturity or a tinge (or bucketload) of

by YOB

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9 February 20229 February 2022

What Masculine Strength Looks Like

Does nice equal good? Does strong equal toxic? Commiseration is a drink that intoxicates quickly, yet we must weep with those who weep. Am I a man? Am I strong? What am I, and where is my place? What is the nature of masculine

by Christopher

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22 January 202222 January 2022

YOB ConvoCast 040: Tom & Marshall Buy the Field! (and the Puppies!)

Tom welcomes back Marshall to catch us up on his pandemic-induced overworked, yet puppy-filled life on the farm! He shares what he has always enjoyed about our YOBBERS retreats and gives some context to his "bought the field" Xanga blog username of yesteryear. Finally, Marshall shares about one of his longtime single friends, now dating a girl, and the joy he finds as a "friend of the

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