belonging

A Rumor of Masculinity at My First YOBBERS Retreat
A Rumor of Masculinity at My First YOBBERS Retreat
It would be easy to write a few paragraphs about how virtuous all these wonderful men were; how they showed me the (gender-neutral) love of Jesus; how bravely they pursued vulnerability with one another. But I want to do something stupider. I want to write about a vibe, an aesthetic, a rumor of masculinity which I seemed to detect at my first YOBBERS Retreat.
A Place to Just Be at the YOBBERS Retreat
A Place to Just Be at the YOBBERS Retreat
It's easier to remain in the cage even when you can leave, because it's familiar. It's normal. It's hard to ask others for help. It's hard to just...be. Alone. In your own skin.
The Search for Masculine Belonging at My Second YOBBERS Retreat
My time leading up to this year's YOBBERS Retreat came with mixed emotions. I knew a few familiar YOBBERS wouldn't be returning, but I also knew I'd recognize many other guys attending. Anxiety lingered. Had I really built the kind of connections that would help me feel at home this year?
My Struggle to be Around Brothers at this Year's YOBBERS Retreat
My Struggle to be Around Brothers at this Year’s YOBBERS Retreat
I found myself constantly dealing with doubt, low self-esteem, loneliness, and feeling unloved. As I sat there looking around, I saw so many guys, including the newbies, hanging out with one another, playing games, laughing, and hugging. I felt like I was being avoided because of my stuttering.
YOB ConvoCast 097: Tom & Daniel Debrief the 2024 YOBBERS Retreat!
YOB ConvoCast 097: Tom & Daniel Debrief the 2024 YOBBERS Retreat!
Daniel joins Tom to recap this year's YOBBERS Retreat. As a newer member of YOB leadership, how did Daniel enjoy this retreat compared to others? We reflect on this distinction of leadership and participation with our retreat, including the challenge of not just serving a role or a function all weekend long. We also dive into our retreat's first-time art piece -- a locked birdcage with one sparrow inside and two sparrows outside -- and how this piece led to some interesting reflections from the YOBBERS.
"At Home?" at This Year's YOBBERS Retreat
“At Home?” at This Year’s YOBBERS Retreat
I continually wrestle with this dynamic in leadership of Your Other Brothers: where do I keep proper distance in the name of boundaries and self-care, and where do I let someone else enter my birdcage? Can I do both well? Can I lead and participate well?
YOB ConvoCast 092: Nhat is Married and Merges Two Families into One
YOB ConvoCast 092: Nhat is Married and Merges Two Homes into One
Nhat makes his debut appearance! We celebrate his 1-year YOBiversary as he tells us his “at home” story of being married to his wife of the last four years. He shares the challenges of merging his wife’s family dynamic and his own into one new family and home, as well as the joys of complimenting one another and yearning for a better home together. We also dive into Nhat’s childhood as a “PK” or pastor’s kid and how that has impacted his faith journey, including his coming out experience at 21. How did coming out affect his parents, particularly his father, in an Asian culture often marked by honor and shame?
YOB ConvoCast 089: Andrew Moved Across America for Queer Community and Home
YOB ConvoCast 089: Andrew Moved Across America for a New Home and Queer Community
Andrew returns to tell the tale of his cross-country move from Ohio to Southern California! What led him to leave the only home he’d ever known to find a new one? He shares about his upbringing in the Midwest, including many years of homeschooling, and a friend who prompted him to ponder the possibility of a new start. Andrew basks in the literal and existential sunshine of his new life in SoCal, talking about his new queer community and an accepting church that makes him feel at home in his faith and sexuality. But what of his masculinity? Where does and doesn't he feel quite "at home" in that arena?
I Just Wanted to Be a Man and Finish the Race
Not quite finishing the bike race hurts way beyond this strain in my shoulder. And "not quite" feels like such a metaphor for my masculinity.
YOB ConvoCast 087: Marshall, Single and 65, Lives on a Farm with 23 People
YOB ConvoCast 087: Marshall, Single and 65, Lives on a Farm with 23 People
We welcome back Marshall to talk more about his unique home life: a 20-acre farm, living alongside 23 people in a central house, cabins, tiny houses, and RV’s. How has Marshall enjoyed living alone in the past, and did he second-guess living with younger single men as an older single man? How did Marshall’s many living situations over six decades lead to his buying this farm, and what’s joyful and also challenging about leading such an intentional community of believers?
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