college Archives • Your Other Brothers

6 April 20216 April 2021

Well, 2020 happened. And in this "unprecedented" year, a more personal disease revealed itself in me. Like Nouwen wrote, despite my being around people during a pandemic, I faced loneliness. My tendency to isolate combined with an actual, physical inability to connect with others made me look deeper into the why of my

by Kevin Zimmerman

9 Comment(s)

2 March 20212 March 2021

This Yearning for Men

We yearn for men. We yearn for specific men. We yearn for abstract, unspecified men. We yearn for men in general. We yearn for men to yearn for other men. Sometimes we yearn for men's bodies, sometimes for their hearts, sometimes for their souls. We yearn for brothers. We yearn for boyfriends or husbands. Some of us yearn for fathers, some of us yearn for sons. We yearn to encounter, to access, and to drink deeply of the raw, earthy-sweet, intoxicating, powerful substance of masculinity. To be welcomed into it, to be wanted into

by Ryan Burger

3 Comment(s)

18 November 20201 February 2021

I Am Not a Gentle Person

For many years gentleness was a foreign concept to me. Even after actually coming to know Christ in college, I still didn't get gentleness. Jesus turned over tables in the temple – aren't we supposed to do the

by Dean "M" Samuels

8 Comment(s)

30 September 202025 January 2021

When My Plans Get Disrupted

Twice within the span of a year, my passion and my future was taken from me. The future I strove for changed without my permission. The ways I influenced and encouraged others –

by Kevin Zimmerman

5 Comment(s)

1 July 202013 February 2021

Longing for Intimacy with Straight Guy Friends

I just have a longing to be accepted, seen as a man among men. To feel like one of the guys. Yes, I've experienced those feelings with fellow "Side B" friends, but sometimes it only feels like one side of the

by Eugene Heffron

29 Comment(s)

14 February 202013 February 2021

The YOBcast 057: Gay Sex and Hookups

What led to your having gay sex for the first time? Can you separate the physical from the emotional in gay sex? How many times have you had gay sex, and would you consider yourself a sex addict? It's a throwback episode with three of our original YOB cofounders: Tom, Dean, and Matt. We talk with Matt about his journey and struggles with gay sex and hookups. It's a raw, courageous chronicling of his story as a pastor's kid – a story still being written to this day. We also catch up with Dean and Matt from the last year or so, including Dean's recent exploits to Canada (and questionable Canadian accent) and Matt's sarcastic sense of humor (or actual disappointment) with

by YOB

11 Comment(s)

10 January 202013 February 2021

The YOBcast 055: Mentors

In the spirit of resolutions, self-improvement, and growth in this new year, we're talking about mentors: those wise, sage-like figures who guide us through this life. Tom, Ryan, and Jacob talk about their favorite mentors in books and movies, sharing some of their own mentorship experiences from years past. What qualities do all these figures share in common? We also discuss the concept of mentoring a new generation -- including whether we feel we're even capable of such a thing. It's an awesome kickstart to a new year and a new decade as we recommit to producing two podcast episodes per

by YOB

2 Comment(s)

17 December 201928 January 2021

Naked and Unashamed in the Locker Room

For the longest time I felt afraid about the locker room setting. Part of my fear and shame came from body-image issues, as I was the "fat kid" most of my life. Part of my fear also came from my same-sex attraction – the fear for potential arousal. I was curious how the other guys looked but also ashamed and scared to be around them or be seen in my

by Ben Rutkowski

27 Comment(s)

12 November 201928 January 2021

The Day I Came Out to My Wife

And so, as we walked through a local park, barely past our first month of dating, I told her about my same-sex attraction. I told her of my failed dating history, that I wasn't sure I could be attracted to women, that most men who were SSA, despite years of prayer and trying to make things work, would not be attracted to women and that my SSA would possibly never go

by Ben Rutkowski

31 Comment(s)

Why I Go to Pornography and Kicking Off #NoPornNovember

5 November 201928 January 2021

Why I Go to Pornography: Kicking Off #NoPornNovember

I usually head to porn when I'm stressed, anxious, confused, tired. My counselor once asked me if I go to porn to feel power, to be in control. My first response was no — I don't feel powerful at all when I seek out porn. I feel weak and helpless. But maybe there is a control aspect to my porn

by Kevin Zimmerman

23 Comment(s)

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