A fascinating conversation about Trey Pearson, his coming out, and what it means to struggle with homosexuality or be a "gay Christian" in today's culture.
My father found out about my gay pornography use. He wanted to help me. And then my father never spoke to me about gay pornography use again.
Somewhere around seventh grade, I told my family I hated swimming. The real reason was just too silly and shameful. I hated having to take off my shirt.
I pretended everything was normal with my gay brother and acted like I didn't notice his sexuality. I didn't want to deal with any trouble.
I don't remember thinking of myself as gay. There was always something wrong with me, and I was beginning to see it.
All I could think was: I am going to hell. I was obsessed with this idea that I'd never have a right relationship with God.
For a Native American who is struggling with same-sex attraction (SSA) or views himself as gay, it's kind of hard to fit into this family dynamic.
I saw that my father had a very real relationship with God that was uncommon, powerful, and full of joy. I knew I wanted to be close to God because of Dad.
My whole life I've wanted the love of a big brother. I've always wanted to press into someone bigger than me, someone stronger, someone wiser. A big brother to hold me, a big brother to comfort me, a big brother to tell me everything will be okay because he's right there and he's not going to let me go.
I will be reminded of this brokenness every time we are forced to gather. I hate this brokenness. For it is in this brokenness that my SSA came to be.