About The Author

Matthew 'Áshįįhí

Hey y'all! Just an SSA, full-blooded Native American, ESTJ, Enneagram 8 here. I'm a very blunt person but know when people can't handle the whole truth. My job here is to tell you guys my story which is set up like a typical coffee shop, one-on-one talk. I'm here to challenge the way you think and encourage you spiritually. Hope you guys are ready!

When I Felt Like a Total Failure

What I thought was a total “God thing” to help me through my life and financial crisis ended up being a big flop. I felt like a total failure, my mind reminded by all the stuff I’d endured when told I couldn’t become a leader because of my past. I had to deal with that nightmare once again.

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Prostitution on the Prowl Again

Deep in my financial drought, I thought about the idea of prostitution again. I’d done prostitution before, and my options for finding a job were running thin. I did love sex and hooking up with other guys; why not dive back into that dangerous field again and make some extra cash? I was in desperate need of help.

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Training for the Trial I Wasn’t Yet In

By the end of the conference, I felt rejuvenated and refreshed. All the messages were so powerful and challenging, like God had opened my heart for a heart and soul operation. My best friend and I returned home, and I thought this would strengthen our friendship in the months to come.

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YOBcast Episode 024: Temptation

What triggers us and how do we reckon with temptation? What’s the difference between a trigger and a temptation, and how do we face temptation during moments of weakness and vulnerability? Tom and Elliott welcome Bradley and Matt for a vulnerable conversation on triggers and temptation. We dive into the HALT acronym (hungry, angry, lonely, […]

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YOBcast Episode 019: 1-Year Podcast Anniversary!

It’s hard to believe the YOBcast has now existed for an entire year! In this special anniversary episode, Tom and Elliott and six additional blogging brothers unite for a fun hour of reminiscing over the last year and ponder the age-old question: if you could push a big red button and erase your homosexuality, would you […]

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The First Time I Contracted an STD

Well! We’re back to Matt’s crazy sex stories! It’s been a while since I wrote about my hookups with other guys. As I’ve prefaced in previous posts, if you are unable to read a post like this due to its subject matter, DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER! Okay, now that that’s out of the way […]

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Growing Up as a Pastor’s Kid with SSA

Childhood plays a very significant part in our lives. How we’re raised defines us in adulthood, paving the way toward how we interact with people: family, friends, churches, co-workers, or strangers. Father figures especially shaped our lives. Truth be told, none of us had a perfect father growing up. Some of us grew up in […]

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YOBcast Episode 010: Hookups & Gay Sex

Why do we hook up with other men? What draws us to cross that line? And what happens in the aftermath of gay sex? Tom, Elliott, and Matt come together for a vulnerable conversation on their varied experiences in hookup culture. This episode cuts deep. If you enjoy our show and haven’t yet done so, […]

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