shame Archives • Your Other Brothers

13 October 202112 October 2021

Many of us with same-sex attractions have experienced that well-meaning friend or family member who feels the need to "love us well" by telling us, "God made you gay, so how could marrying someone of the same sex be wrong?" I appreciate not being cast out by said people because of my sexuality, but they also seem unwilling to believe that I've actually given my sexuality some

by Aaron

21 Comment(s)

16 July 202116 July 2021

YOB ConvoCast 033: Tom & Nate Get Profane About Character Flaws!

In our season finale Tom welcomes back the "Steve Martin" of YOB podcast guests, Nate! Nate catches us up on life as a traveling artist with his giant suitcase of chalk, and he spearheads a conversation on profanity. How have our Christian upbringings impacted our approach to profanity, and is it ever okay for believers to use certain words? We also dive into character flaws and whether we can ever fully overcome those certain traits that come hardest for us. Finally, will Nate ever come back for another YOB podcast? Stay tuned for the season finale

by YOB

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23 June 202123 June 2021

Internalized Homophobia Returns: Coming Out to My Church Team Leader

Something came crashing into my mind when Peter asked me to be a team leader at church: a stream of familiar feelings, similar to the ones I felt the first time I had to come out. They were feelings of inadequacy; the line of thinking that I was in a somewhat state of sinfulness that compelled me to

by Daniel Marquez

1 Comment

3 June 20213 June 2021

How the Lord Is (Somehow) Healing My Marriage

I thought my first stories of marriage would be easy ones to tell. I thought I would say, "Hey, it all worked out! Everything's great! Praise God!" Instead, I felt a deeper pain than I'd ever felt. Until Jesus changed me, and my mourning turned to dancing. My brothers, I wish I had different words to tell you. I wish I could promise you healing without heartache, but it is not the story of healing I have to

by Christopher

5 Comment(s)

29 May 20211 June 2021

The YOBcast 080: “Side B” Objections

"Don't call yourself gay"; "don't have gay friends"; "pray harder for God to change you"; "act more manly"; "keep dating women until you find the right one." As sexual minorities, we often face objections from within our own faith, from fellow believers -- be they peers, parents, or pastors. How do we respond when we face objections for our sexuality? How do we move forward through the resistance? Join Tom and YOBcast newcomers Pastor Ben and Pastor Will as we dive into some common "Side B" objections. And as we reaffirm to one another and to you that you are not alone in whatever spiritual objections you

by YOB

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25 May 202125 May 2021

To My Pastor: A Template to Help You Come Out to Church Leadership

The decision to come out (or not) is very personal. There exist many different methods of coming out, and our blog has already covered some of them. What follows is a template to give you a potential starting point for conversation with anyone in your church leadership. I write this as one who has had both positive and negative experiences coming out to church leadership. This template is designed in such a way that it could be left anonymously in a leader's mailbox to get him or her thinking, or as a conversation starter if you trust someone is ready to engage with you

by Ben Rutkowski

3 Comment(s)

24 April 202124 April 2021

The YOBcast 078: Masturbation

Is masturbation sinful? What if it's done without lusting? Is masturbation "solo-sex" or "self-sex," and does it breech God's design for sexuality? What does the Bible have to say, if anything, about masturbation? Masturbation isn't an oft discussed topic in Christian circles, with many folks describing their childhood discovery of masturbation as if they had been the first ones ever to discover such a secret bodily pleasure. As a result of this secrecy, masturbation has produced a lot of shame for men and women. Regardless where you land on this issue, we want to break down this

by YOB

2 Comment(s)

20 April 202120 April 2021

Coming Out to My Church Small Group

I'd spent a long time laboriously looking for a community to belong, and I'd finally found one. With this new community, though, came a growing fear – the fear of eventually being rejected. If they knew me, like really knew me, would they still want to be friends with me or even associate with me at all? If these people were to reject me for my sexuality, I thought, it would be better to experience that rejection now by just ripping off the bandage rather than going deeper into relationships that would only be taken away

by Daniel Marquez

10 Comment(s)

13 April 202113 April 2021

Coming Out to My Parents as a Teenager

A few days prior, I had sent my dad an email explaining that I was gay. I can't remember what all I said or how I said it, but looking back, that probably wasn't the best way to go about it. I was just too afraid to bring it up face to face; an email was easy to send. Hitting send on that coming out email to my dad felt like being pushed out of a plane: there was no turning back, and the parachute better well

by Adrian

8 Comment(s)

2 April 202125 June 2021

YOB ConvoCast 026: You & the Lord on Good Friday 2021

You cannot get to an empty tomb without first getting to an occupied cross. It is

by YOB