Tag: shame

I’ve Never Tried to Pray the Gay Away

I’ve long heard a common refrain among fellow gay or SSA folks in the church, and it’s something I’ve honestly never been able to relate with. That’s not to put myself “above” others; it’s just my reality. Many have tried to “pray the gay away,” and I can’t recall ever doing so. From a young age I felt a certain draw to the other boys, and while I felt shame for the lingering looks and daydreams, I never blamed God or even asked Him to take it away, add a splash of heterosexuality, or what have you.

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Authenticity with Jesus and Others Isn’t Easy

While I often complain about a lack of community, I also keep people at a distance. Only during this socially distant time of coronavirus have I realized something: maybe my community felt lacking because I wanted it to solve all my problems. And finding a community that felt authentic, one where I could be vulnerable, couldn’t exist because I wasn’t connected with Jesus.

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The Struggle to Forgive Yourself for Sexual Failures

During one phone call, things took an unusual turn. He confided that he’d started talking to a guy. They’d started out on a Skype call together which had turned very sexual. He told me how deeply ashamed this call had made him, and he seemed to break on the phone. “Am I still a virgin?” he asked. “I feel like I’ve lost my virginity after this. I’ve done something sexual with a guy, and I can’t take it back!”

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YOBcast Episode 056: Pornography

Do we talk about pornography too much as the Church or not nearly enough? Do we “talk about talking about” pornography or do we actually talk about it? Pornography is more accessible than ever before and, increasingly, more aggressive. It’s a struggle and an addiction that has reached and claimed all people: gay, straight, men, and women. Join Tom, Ryan, and Jacob as we take a deep dive into the science and story of pornography. It’s one of our classic episodes that we’re reopening in a new way.

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Naked and Unashamed in the Locker Room

For the longest time I felt afraid about the locker room setting. Part of my fear and shame came from body-image issues, as I was the “fat kid” most of my life. Part of my fear also came from my same-sex attraction – the fear for potential arousal. I was curious how the other guys looked but also ashamed and scared to be around them or be seen in my nakedness.

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YOBcast Episode 053: Brothers! w/ Jacob & Nate

Jacob’s older brother, Nate, joins us for a deep-dive into their relationship: how Jacob came out to his brother, Nate’s reaction as a straight guy, their parents’ dynamic, and their respective struggles with pornography. It’s a cinematic storytelling session full of laughs and tearful takes alike. Beyond their brotherly story, we get to know Nate (including his personality styles and love languages), learn about Nate’s friendship with Tom, and partake in a “brotherly bridge” all about capris. Yes, capris — the pant.

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