Lifestories

Coming Out to My Parents as a Teenager
Coming Out to My Parents as a Teenager
A few days prior, I had sent my dad an email explaining that I was gay. I can't remember what all I said or how I said it, but looking back, that probably wasn't the best way to go about it. I was just too afraid to bring it up face to face; an email was easy to send. Hitting send on that coming out email to my dad felt like being pushed out of a plane: there was no turning back, and the parachute better well
When I Get Lost in My Loneliness
When I Get Lost in My Loneliness
Well, 2020 happened. And in this "unprecedented" year, a more personal disease revealed itself in me. Like Nouwen wrote, despite my being around people during a pandemic, I faced loneliness. My tendency to isolate combined with an actual, physical inability to connect with others made me look deeper into the why of my
To My Significant Other: A Template to Help You Come Out to Her
To My Significant Other: A Template to Help You Come Out to Her
I am attracted to other men. At this point, you might be shocked, scared, angry, or confused. Please allow me to affirm a few truths before I continue. I love Jesus, I believe in a traditional/biblical sexual ethic, and I am pursuing holiness before the Lord in my sexuality. I love you and want to walk well with you. I want you to know this about me so you can see me, love me, and walk well with me, and so I am not holding back pieces of my life from
This Yearning for Men
This Yearning for Men
We yearn for men. We yearn for specific men. We yearn for abstract, unspecified men. We yearn for men in general. We yearn for men to yearn for other men. Sometimes we yearn for men's bodies, sometimes for their hearts, sometimes for their souls. We yearn for brothers. We yearn for boyfriends or husbands. Some of us yearn for fathers, some of us yearn for sons. We yearn to encounter, to access, and to drink deeply of the raw, earthy-sweet, intoxicating, powerful substance of masculinity. To be welcomed into it, to be wanted into
The First Guy I Ever Slept With
The First Guy I Ever Slept With
Before visiting him, I can't remember our ever talking about what would happen at night. Cody had a bunkbed in his room, even though he lived alone. The top bunk was made for me when I arrived, but I didn't sleep in it once. It just
New Year, New Direction: My "See You Later" for YOB
New Year, New Direction: My “See You Later” for YOB
As incredibly difficult as 2020 was and as much as I still feel inept with many of the fruits (looking at you, gentleness and self-control), I have grown more in 2020 than any year before. Now, as we have entered 2021, life is still taking twists and turns like never before. This coming year will hold new adventures, new hurts, and new lessons yet to unfold. However, one place I will not be continuing these adventures, for now, is here. On Your Other
All I Want for Christmas is ... Physical Touch
All I Want for Christmas is … Physical Touch
Physical touch isn't even one of my love languages, but it doesn't have to be. Humans are meant to have regular physical interaction with others. When the pandemic started, I became acutely aware that physical touch would be more rare than it already was in my life. I've experienced physical touch a total of seven times in almost a
I Suck at Self-Control
I Suck at Self-Control
My issues with self-control go well beyond the typical desires of hunger, attraction, sleep, and so on. It goes into my struggle to pause before acting – at
I Made Out With My Best Man the Night Before My Wedding
I Made Out with My Best Man the Night Before My Wedding
The night before my wedding, Elias and I shared a bed as we had done many times before. But this particular night a cruel sadness hung over us. A sense of finality to it all. We both knew everything would change after this night. We knew there wouldn't be any more nights of cuddles and waking up beside each other; we knew this was the peak of our physical
When Will I Escape This Valley of Apathy?
When Will I Escape This Valley of Apathy?
Whatever the reason, this is where I find myself: apathetic toward the Church, God, and disciplines like reading Scripture and prayer. I'm not angry at the Church -- just apathetic. And in that apathy I feel ordinarily strong convictions