I was told I couldn't serve in various areas of ministry, including the youth ministry and being around the younger children at the church.
I had no idea how desperately I'd needed some guy — even some unknowable guy on the Internet — to tell me that I'm awesome.
We were always careful to keep appropriate, healthy boundaries even though we knew we were not sexually attracted to each other. I think we were just cautious of others gossiping if we appeared to be too close. Unfortunately, churches like ours are especially prone to gossip about SSA guys.
Before I applied for SOM, some friends were talking to me about becoming a Bible study leader. I grew thrilled at the idea of leading and serving there.
I don't get wet dreams when I masturbate regularly; they only happen when I don't. Like when it happened last week.
So, as it turns out, I still don't know who I am. And with two decades now under my belt, I have come to the conclusion that I don't know who I want to be.
I love attending my church and uphold them to the highest regard. Unfortunately, I was hurt by my church -- and this is my story.
It is very desirable and even possible for me to have a decades-long friendship with a straight guy...even though he is married and I am not.
I didn't belong here. An odd realization to make. YOB is for the outcast. A place for those who feel they don't belong. It's a community for the outcasts.
If it weren't for Jesus, it would just be some hangout weekend with a bunch of gay guys. I think of the term #SquadGoals for our group.