Simon joins Tom to share their experiences of living alone for these last several years! Has it been an independent person's paradise, or have there also been emotional difficulties? How did the pandemic impact living alone? Simon also shares his experience of growing up with a twin brother, in addition to living previously with female friends, including the challenges of perception amongst any Christian onlookers. Will Simon and Tom live alone for the rest of their lives, or do they pine for a shared living space once again? Finally, Simon shares his experience from our recently held European YOBBERS retreat and how his first event with other men has factored into how "at home" he feels in his masculinity!
Daniel returns to discuss his life in SoCal, living with two straight men! Like Andrew, he also moved across America for a new start and a new home from the Midwest. He tells us Andrew's teased "pots and pans" story from our last episode, a snapshot of pursuing healthy communication and expectations with straight roommates. Daniel shares some of the joys of living with straight men, including the activities in which they partake with each other and all of Daniel's queer friends, as well as the challenges. What will happen if and when these straight men choose to marry women and move out? Is there still joy to be found in the seasonality of such a home life?
Matt returns to discuss his home life: always living with his family even as he enters his late thirties! He explains the importance of family within his Navajo culture, sharing why he enjoys regularly going home to the reservation after moving away from it. But Matt also shares why he doesn’t disclose anything about his sexuality with his conservative family. Despite this withholding, Matt feels at home with his churches and friends, particularly his male friends, claiming he’s never felt more masculine and comfortable in his body than he does now. Will he always live with family, or does he aspire for another living situation in the future?
I feel such a helpless frustration that my interest in the arts automatically pigeonholes me into a crowd like this. And so begins my burnout on queerness and this longing for straight friends, starting with acceptance amongst straight guys.
How did we go from Jonathan and David to heaven and hell? What exactly happened between us? I've replayed every variable in my head over and over: I was too obsessive, I was too much, I was never enough, he was never enough, it's all his fault, it’s all my fault, he caught feelings.
Was I in love with him? Did we have the deepest friendship, or was it actually something more? This is for the lot of us who have gone from strangers to friends to kin to nothing.
Harrison Bly joins the show to discuss masculine friendship! Harrison is a member of our YOBBERS community and the author of Bent on Men, a book recently featured in our monthly YOBBERS Book Club. Both Tom and Harrison reference their books, sharing what happens after some pivotal friendships change, fizzle, or even disintegrate entirely after the final page. They discuss the friendship dynamics of connecting with straight men as well as fellow "Side B" men. What are the challenges or even road blocks to forming various male friendships? And what do we do with this loneliness epidemic which has hit men hard?
I learned that it wasn't safe for me to talk about or process through any of this struggle. Not at this church. And that is just what I did for the rest of high school. I didn't talk about my sexuality with anyone at that church again.
Looking back on those bro cuddling blogs years later, after experiencing much more bro cuddling, how does it all hold up? Have any of my thoughts or feelings changed around the subject? Or have I perhaps received some new insights, especially after a lot of cuddle mileage?
Daniel returns to pitch this summer's special gathering of YOBBERS – in Europe! He joins Tom to discuss a smaller-scale retreat or "holiday" somewhere in the Mediterranean, inviting all who are interested to email him ASAP. Daniel also catches us up on his life in London – including the exciting news that he is now a British citizen! He tells us about one country where he's already traveled with his new passport, as well as another on the horizon to see a certain female pop star perform.