brotherhood

The Most Stressed I've Been Leading Our Retreat
The Most Stressed I’ve Been Leading Our Retreat
I guess we're really doing this again, I thought, this whole retreat thing. Is this officially an annual event now? Can I handle that? Goodness, can I really put on a retreat every year for the rest of my life? Or need I only focus on this year's retreat, letting tomorrow's retreat worry for itself? I entered this fourth camp retreat in perhaps my most unhealthy headspace of the four. I felt rushed in the preparation, behind on all the decor and planning which led to a lot of sacrificed self-care, too. Because how can I sleep or eat or exercise or socialize at the same capacity with such a mammoth task at hand?!
YOB ConvoCast 056: Tom & Michael Prep for the Retreat!
YOB ConvoCast 056: Tom & Michael Prep for the Retreat!
Michael makes his ConvoCast debut as one of YOB's newer bloggers and a fiercely established welcomer in our community! He shares with Tom about his love for Seattle and how his dog Rumour will not be making an appearance in this episode. Tom recounts meeting Michael for the first time at the 2019 YOBBERS retreat, including the brave moment when Michael "came out" to the whole group, and the guys share their excitements and anxieties for our upcoming retreat just a couple weeks away!
Gay and Disabled – Just Like Me
Gay and Disabled – Just Like Me
We never really talked about sex in any capacity, as in which girls we liked, or how our disabilities intertwined with our sexuality. The topic was a moot one, sometimes uncomfortably so. Eventually, I had the dreaded conversation with my friend. You know the one: "I'm gay but acting on such feelings goes against what I believe as a follower of Jesus." My friend then came out to me as well! He also didn't want to act on such feelings.
Three Tactics for Fighting Intrusive Sexual Thoughts
Three Tactics to Fight Sexually Intrusive Thoughts
For so many years I thought I was just dirty, lustful, and awful for thinking all these terrible sexual thoughts. I was filled with constant shame because the sexually intrusive thoughts kept coming. The realization that I can actually, with practice, redirect my own thoughts, is more freeing than I can write.
"For Forever" and My Longing for Brotherhood
“For Forever” and My Longing for Brotherhood
It was the first song I'd ever heard that touched upon my most simple yet desperate longing; buried beneath the pangs of my sexuality, a clear yet unattainable desire – to have a best buddy, someone who tells me he wants to be with me, someone to goof off with, someone to sit beside in a country field. Someone by my side when I'm hurting.
YOB ConvoCast 047: Wes Wants You to Please Touch Him as a TWO!!
YOB ConvoCast 047: Wes Wants You to Please Touch Him as a TWO!
Since so much of the Two's identity is tied to other people, we dive into this realm of "relating with other men" more than any other episode of this series. In particular, how does a Two respond to that precious loss in male friendship? How does a Two feel a sense of belonging with a community? How important is coming out for a Two? Wes also shares about the Two's relating with God: does a Two feel beautiful in God's eyes or merely tolerable to His purposes? How does the Two experience pride and manipulation in times of stress, and how does the Two experience self-care that isn't selfish during times of growth?
Did Internalized Homophobia Block Me from Brotherly Love?
Did Internalized Homophobia Block Me from Brotherly Love?
Phillip Henry died yesterday at 29 years of age. That was the short, somber text message on my phone. No! Not Phillip! I thought. He was such a close friend. That last thought was only a half-truth. My friendship with Phillip had only just begun, and I'd had such hopes for it. Now, he was gone.
The First Guy I Fell In Love With, and the Path Forward with Touch
The First Guy I Fell In Love With, and the Path Forward with Touch
He's the guy who has clarified my boundaries with cuddling and physical touch more than any other. The guy from whom I've sought comfort in touch more than any other. The guy who has made me feel seen and warm and laugh and cry like no other. He's the first (and to this point, only) guy I've fallen in love with.
Adrift as a Child or a Man
Adrift as a Child or a Man
I still have that Link costume somewhere in my closet. Perhaps it's the wandering through the woods that I love, the isolation, the music; or, perhaps it's something deeper that has stuck with me after all these years. Perhaps it's that I feel like the protagonist: adrift in time, unsure whether I'm a child or a man. This is how I feel as I move back into my childhood bedroom – the place where my sexual trauma occurred.
Your Other Brothers ConvoCast • 042
YOB ConvoCast 042: Tom & Eugene Debate the Gayness of “Luca”!
Tom welcomes back YOB film aficionado Eugene to discuss a recent community favorite: Luca by Pixar! We cut right to the chase with this film: is there anything gay about it? Are either, or both, of the main characters gay? How does our sexuality influence the way we watch this film? Will there be a Luca 2? Do we want a sequel? If we get one, how open are we to exploring Luca and Alberto’s sexualities? Or would such a future plot rob anything from their friendship?