My time leading up to this year's YOBBERS Retreat came with mixed emotions. I knew a few familiar YOBBERS wouldn't be returning, but I also knew I'd recognize many other guys attending. Anxiety lingered. Had I really built the kind of connections that would help me feel at home this year?
I found myself constantly dealing with doubt, low self-esteem, loneliness, and feeling unloved. As I sat there looking around, I saw so many guys, including the newbies, hanging out with one another, playing games, laughing, and hugging. I felt like I was being avoided because of my stuttering.
I continually wrestle with this dynamic in leadership of Your Other Brothers: where do I keep proper distance in the name of boundaries and self-care, and where do I let someone else enter my birdcage? Can I do both well? Can I lead and participate well?
Dawson returns to help us close our At Home series! Tom takes the show on the road to Athens, Georgia, where he once lived for 11 years, to share an in-person conversation with Dawson, who has lived in this city for all 31 of his years. Why did Tom leave home all those years ago, and why has Dawson stayed? Has this same city been a consistent refuge for Dawson, or have there been some darker times, even times where he thought he might leave this only home he's ever known? Both Dawson and Tom live alone, and they share the joys of their homes serving as solitary refuges, as well as the dangers of falling into self-isolation.
Simon joins Tom to share their experiences of living alone for these last several years! Has it been an independent person's paradise, or have there also been emotional difficulties? How did the pandemic impact living alone? Simon also shares his experience of growing up with a twin brother, in addition to living previously with female friends, including the challenges of perception amongst any Christian onlookers. Will Simon and Tom live alone for the rest of their lives, or do they pine for a shared living space once again? Finally, Simon shares his experience from our recently held European YOBBERS retreat and how his first event with other men has factored into how "at home" he feels in his masculinity!
I understand some people have to portray themselves in certain ways for cultural reasons, or because they don't want to hurt their families. But how many more mornings are we willing to wear this mask around people just to cry into our pillows at night?
We kick off a new summer series, AT HOME: how our current life stages and living situations impact our faith, sexuality, and masculinity. Join us each episode for a new member of our YOB community sharing his story from various life stages and living situations. We start with our “plain old gay” Matt, who has been living with other gay men, both affirming and traditional, after 15 years of living by himself. We learn Matt’s home environment growing up, including how that shaped his view of what the future would look like. What have been the joys and challenges of sharing his current and recent homes with other gay men, and what does he think of the “optics” of having fellow gay roommates, if anything at all?
How did we go from Jonathan and David to heaven and hell? What exactly happened between us? I've replayed every variable in my head over and over: I was too obsessive, I was too much, I was never enough, he was never enough, it's all his fault, it’s all my fault, he caught feelings.
Harrison Bly joins the show to discuss masculine friendship! Harrison is a member of our YOBBERS community and the author of Bent on Men, a book recently featured in our monthly YOBBERS Book Club. Both Tom and Harrison reference their books, sharing what happens after some pivotal friendships change, fizzle, or even disintegrate entirely after the final page. They discuss the friendship dynamics of connecting with straight men as well as fellow "Side B" men. What are the challenges or even road blocks to forming various male friendships? And what do we do with this loneliness epidemic which has hit men hard?
The other person thinks it's an accidental-turned-whimsical exchange, when in fact it's quite deliberate and nefarious. This Last Week Tonight episode details people who were scammed financially because they thought they were building a legitimate, longer-term relationship with this conversational or otherwise caring person on the other line. It's tragic how susceptible people can be to potential love. I know I am.