One day my friend came home and found me in deep emotional turmoil. He directly asked me what was wrong, so I tried to explain what I was feeling about him.
I didn't belong here. An odd realization to make. YOB is for the outcast. A place for those who feel they don't belong. It's a community for the outcasts.
But is it wrong that I look for that true brother still, that I still pray for God to bring that true brother to me? I hope not.
There was a split in who I thought I was and who I was thought to be. I fought to be straight and prove to everyone nothing is wrong with me. I'm normal.
I don't remember thinking of myself as gay. There was always something wrong with me, and I was beginning to see it.
My middle school years were some of my most difficult times. I started noticing other guys and growing overwhelmed by my first gay feelings.
Without the past, we have no future. We either let the past keep us in chains, or the past props us up, prods us forward, pushes us to greater heights.
In 2008 I entered a desperate Google search: "Christians struggling with homosexuality." Finding that Xanga blogring community changed my life forever.