brokenness

I Made Out With My Best Man the Night Before My Wedding
I Made Out with My Best Man the Night Before My Wedding
The night before my wedding, Elias and I shared a bed as we had done many times before. But this particular night a cruel sadness hung over us. A sense of finality to it all. We both knew everything would change after this night. We knew there wouldn't be any more nights of cuddles and waking up beside each other; we knew this was the peak of our physical
The YOBcast 069: Fetishes
For years a certain topic has been on the YOBcast radar. But it would be a deep dive like no other. Finally, we're taking the time to talk about sexual fetishes. Disclaimer: this episode may not be for everyone as we list some fetishes in an effort to give context to the topic. Listen at your own discretion. Join Tom, Dean, and Matt for our long anticipated conversation on fetishes. We start with the word's definitions and fascinating linguistic origins, and we acknowledge whether we have any fetishes. We then talk about the roots of our fetishes, if they even exist, and keeping proper boundaries in talking about our fetishes along with any attached
Faithfulness is the Worst Fruit of the Spirit
Faithfulness is the Worst Fruit of the Spirit
Faithfulness is being beaten to a bloody, messy pulp and still saying, "God, I trust you." Faithfulness is f–ing hard s–. And it has hurt me deeply this year – deeper than I ever imagined
Do I Regret Coming Out?
Do I Regret Coming Out?
If you were to ask me if I regret coming out in 2013, I'd answer a thousand times no. But for every thousand times no, I might also answer with one or two yesses. I don't miss the perpetual shadows of the closet. The secrecy. The shame. The constant playing along. But I do kinda miss the privacy. Like, whose business is it who I am or am not attracted
When My Plans Get Disrupted
When My Plans Get Disrupted
Twice within the span of a year, my passion and my future was taken from me. The future I strove for changed without my permission. The ways I influenced and encouraged others –
How Can I Be Good?
How Can I Be Good?
I am fallen. Identity in Christ aside, I am still in a body of sin and death, as Paul said. I fight a fallen flesh every single day. How can I be good? How can goodness be a fruit of
What Motivates My Kindness?
What Motivates My Kindness?
What if kindness as a fruit of the Spirit simply meant your unconscious approach to others – and even to yourself – was to help instead of judge? What if kindness manifested itself in the simple idea that when you see someone in need or hurting or broken, you desire to care for them before you desire to know how it
Asking My Bros for Advice About Girls
Asking My Bros for Advice About Girls
I was almost done with my turn of thorns and roses, and I remembered wanting to tell them I liked a girl. I just blurted it out: "So, I like this girl, and I think she's pretty awesome!" All of the guys were a bit shocked and surprised to hear that come out of my
I've Never Tried to Pray the Gay Away
I’ve Never Tried to Pray the Gay Away
I've long heard a common refrain among fellow gay or SSA folks in the church, and it's something I've honestly never been able to relate with. That's not to put myself "above" others; it's just my reality. Many have tried to "pray the gay away," and I can't recall ever doing so. From a young age I felt a certain draw to the other boys, and while I felt shame for the lingering looks and daydreams, I never blamed God or even asked Him to take it away, add a splash of heterosexuality, or what have
The YOBcast 061: Gratitude
After a months-long hiatus of the show, Tom updates everyone on his new medical condition. Ryan and Jacob also join the show to share moments of gratitude from these last few months of the coronavirus pandemic. Additionally, the guys look back on their entire lives and recount moments of gratitude in their journeys with faith, homosexuality, and