brokenness

I Just Want to Understand the Other Boys
Although the teasing continued for the rest of the school year, I honestly learned to ignore it. I became a recluse at a very young age. This reclusiveness made the other kids – especially the other boys – a bit of a mystery to me. Particularly physically. Looking back, I realize I was in a bit of a paradox: I didn't want the other boys to see any of my body, but I also had somewhat of an interest in theirs.
My Aquarium of Sexual Desire
My Aquarium of Sexual Desire
How do I deal with unmet sexual desire? It's a question which led me to ask, what is my sexual desire? Of course, "sexual desire" is a category with a lot of things in it. "There's a lot of different fish in that bucket," I told myself. But let's not call it a bucket. Let's call it an aquarium so all the fish have plenty of room to swim around, and so we can get a good look at them.
YOB ConvoCast 049: Tom & Alex Feel All the Feels as FOURs!
YOB ConvoCast 049: Tom & Alex Feel All the Feels as FOURs!
Tom and Alex discuss the qualities they love about being Fours: artistic, empathetic, and yes, unique. In times of security they're objective and productive, taking action and creating things that add beauty to the world. A Four's "superpower" is empathy, giving others permission to "feel all the feels" with them, too. Tom and Alex also dive into their dark side of Four-ness: the neediness, the manipulation, the constant craving for approval, particularly from other men. Fours are often described as people who perceive lacking a critical "missing piece," and as queer or SSA men this hits especially deep for Tom and Alex. In adolescence did they miss some critical component for masculinity or sexuality, along with connecting with the other boys? What is the path forward for a Four in those whirlwinds of emotional stress?
Loved by God – Even When I Can't Relate
Loved by God – Even When I Can’t Relate
Who am I? This could be a question for self-edification or self-deprecation. A question answered with set shoulders and proud confidence, or a rhetorical question asked to oneself at the depths of loneliness and despair. The best way I have determined to answer that question is I am...loved by God.
"Handsome Devil," a Side B Sleeper Hit?
“Handsome Devil,” a Side B Sleeper Hit?
Handsome Devil is a very gay movie, but for once a gay movie not focused on sex or even romance; instead, it leans heavily on themes of vulnerability, authenticity, bullying, trauma, masculinity, and most of all, friendship. It checks all the boxes for a Side B sleeper hit.
Your Other Brothers Podcast | 090: Bitterness
YOBcast 090: Bitterness
It is our first episode of 2022 as we hit the year running with a self-examination of bitterness. What do we hold against God, against others, and against ourselves? As it relates to our sexuality, where have we grown bitter in these three areas, and where is the blessing? Join Tom, Ben, and Will as we share some of our descents into bitterness, as well as our climbs into the sweetness of this Christian journey.
You Need to Do Better
You Need to Do Better
Living this life means recognizing that there are some hard elements to this journey – some of which may always be hard. If I can't make these things any less hard, then I need to have tools to stand up and continue forward, learning, growing, and changing, rather than get beaten down, stagnate, and cease to grow. I need methods to find peace and joy, even in pain. In my last post I said that my answer to thriving begins in Jesus, and I would add that it continues with Jesus as I work through the areas of my life that need attention, healing, growth, and change. In short, I needed to do better.
You Are Accepted Just as You Are
You Are Accepted Just as You Are
We get asked the why question so much because this life is hard. Being a Christian is hard; being LGBTQ+ is hard. Being both can be exhausting. And it may continue to be exhausting if we don't do the work to understand why it's hard and figure out how to keep going.
Great is Thy Faithfulness. Even When I Don't Understand.
Great is Thy Faithfulness. Even When I Don’t Understand.
I'm not one to call out miraculous. And I didn't grow up thinking that miracles happen. I wondered how to handle this gift, this grace when my teammates were in the hospital and even needed surgery? The answer wasn't obvious then. The emotions and lack of understanding come back swiftly when I think back on that weekend.
The First Guy I Ever Crossed Physical Boundaries With
The First Guy I Ever Crossed Physical Boundaries With
I pictured him crying in his bed when he woke up that morning, or even going to bed crying right after leaving me; knowing I'd hurt him, knowing I'd been the one to cross physical boundaries. It destroyed me, if I'm honest.