In our season finale Tom welcomes back the "Steve Martin" of YOB podcast guests, Nate! Nate catches us up on life as a traveling artist with his giant suitcase of chalk, and he spearheads a conversation on profanity. How have our Christian upbringings impacted our approach to profanity, and is it ever okay for believers to use certain words? We also dive into character flaws and whether we can ever fully overcome those certain traits that come hardest for us. Finally, will Nate ever come back for another YOB podcast? Stay tuned for the season finale cliffhanger!
Somewhere in the night, the role reversal from cuddling with Brandon completed itself. Lines got blurred and then definitively crossed. It wasn't sexual touch, but it was inappropriate touch. It wasn't welcomed or invited. Brett didn't ask; he just did. He took. Just as I took from Brandon, Brett took from me. And passive, conflict-avoidant me felt crippled to say a word against it.
Tom welcomes back longtime YOB blogger, podcaster, and resident "sexpert" Matt for a deep dive into death, grief, and how these difficult seasons either shape us or harden us. They also give some love to fellow YOB brother Dean, the bizarre adult playground-museum that is Meow Wolf, and Tom's (almost 40-year-old) virginity.
How does our sexuality impact the way we give and receive love from others, particularly other men? Why do quality time and physical touch rank high in our community? And where is the line between expressing the love we need and manipulating others with our love language of choice? Join Tom, Ryan, and Aaron as we examine the five languages like never before through the lens of our sexuality: acts of service, gifts, words of affirmation, quality time, and physical touch.
Tom welcomes back YOB’s resident artist and cuddling aficionado, Eugene, for a discussion on physical boundaries between friends. They reference both Tom’s latest blog on crossing boundaries and Eugene’s latest blog on the nature vs. nurture debate! Additionally, Tom reveals some behind the scenes magic for rectifying the technical snafu that happened during last year’s ConvoCast recording with Eugene. And the guys bounce around a new name for what to call someone who isn’t quite a YOBBER (yet)!
I pictured him crying in his bed when he woke up that morning, or even going to bed crying right after leaving me; knowing I'd hurt him, knowing I'd been the one to cross physical boundaries. It destroyed me, if I'm honest.
I'd spent a long time laboriously looking for a community to belong, and I'd finally found one. With this new community, though, came a growing fear – the fear of eventually being rejected. If they knew me, like really knew me, would they still want to be friends with me or even associate with me at all?
Well, 2020 happened. And in this "unprecedented" year, a more personal disease revealed itself in me. Like Nouwen wrote, despite my being around people during a pandemic, I faced loneliness. My tendency to isolate combined with an actual, physical inability to connect with others made me look deeper into the why of my loneliness.
We yearn for men. We yearn for specific men. We yearn for abstract, unspecified men. We yearn for men in general. We yearn for men to yearn for other men. Sometimes we yearn for men's bodies, sometimes for their hearts, sometimes for their souls. We yearn for brothers. We yearn for boyfriends or husbands. Some of us yearn for fathers, some of us yearn for sons. We yearn to encounter, to access, and to drink deeply of the raw, earthy-sweet, intoxicating, powerful substance of masculinity. To be welcomed into it, to be wanted into it.
My issues with self-control go well beyond the typical desires of hunger, attraction, sleep, and so on. It goes into my struggle to pause before acting – at anything.