How does our sexuality impact the way we give and receive love from others, particularly other men? Why do quality time and physical touch rank high in our community? And where is the line between expressing the love we need and manipulating others with our love language of choice?

Join Tom, Ryan, and Aaron as we examine the five languages like never before through the lens of our sexuality: acts of service, gifts, words of affirmation, quality time, and physical touch.

Enjoy the episode! And don’t forget to comment below.


Take the official 5 love languages quiz that we discuss on the show!

Tom’s blog about receiving meaningful love with a friend in the park.

Listen to our new playlist featuring songs embodying our community! Search “Heart of a Brother” by Your Other Brothers on Spotify, and follow us as we add new songs to our playlist.


What are your primary love languages, and which ones don’t land as easily? Have you manipulated others by any of the love languages, and how have you seen your love languages change across seasons of your life?

About the Author

  • My own love language results from the linked test were:
    Physical Touch – 40%
    Quality time – 27%
    Words of Affirmation – 23%
    Acts of Service – 10%
    Receiving Gifts – 0%

    Aaron and others on the podcast said that straight guys seem to favor acts of service over physical touch, and they often define quality time differently. That has been my experience, too. James is straight and one of my closest friends. He loves acts of service and defines quality time in terms of what we accomplish together.

    In order to help him feel my love, I’ve had to adjust to his needs and find ways to do acts of service. Usually that involves working with him to help him accomplish goals that are meaningful to him, often necessary but unpleasant farm tasks. I find joy in completing these tasks, knowing I have genuinely helped him with something he greatly values.

    James and I talked seriously about my own desire for phyical touch. He told me that he doesn’t really feel like he needs it himself, but he certainly is glad to give it if it helps me. He regularly hugs me and gives me words of affirmation that are very authentic. I know that he loves me, likes me, respects me, and wants to help me succeed.

    We need to know our own love languages, but our friends’ love languages too. Real Christian love is not only feeling others’ love for us, but also giving love to others in a way that does the most good to them!

    • Thanks for sharing your results, Marshall! It’s awesome to see stories of guys, gay, straight or whatever, meeting one another in whatever love languages suit the other best. I love that gifts are at a flat out ZERO for you. Guess I’m canceling my Christmas gift!

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