physical touch

The First Guy I Ever Crossed Physical Boundaries With
The First Guy I Ever Crossed Physical Boundaries With
I pictured him crying in his bed when he woke up that morning, or even going to bed crying right after leaving me; knowing I'd hurt him, knowing I'd been the one to cross physical boundaries. It destroyed me, if I'm
When I Get Lost in My Loneliness
When I Get Lost in My Loneliness
Well, 2020 happened. And in this "unprecedented" year, a more personal disease revealed itself in me. Like Nouwen wrote, despite my being around people during a pandemic, I faced loneliness. My tendency to isolate combined with an actual, physical inability to connect with others made me look deeper into the why of my
The First Guy I Ever Slept With
The First Guy I Ever Slept With
Before visiting him, I can't remember our ever talking about what would happen at night. Cody had a bunkbed in his room, even though he lived alone. The top bunk was made for me when I arrived, but I didn't sleep in it once. It just
All I Want for Christmas is ... Physical Touch
All I Want for Christmas is … Physical Touch
Physical touch isn't even one of my love languages, but it doesn't have to be. Humans are meant to have regular physical interaction with others. When the pandemic started, I became acutely aware that physical touch would be more rare than it already was in my life. I've experienced physical touch a total of seven times in almost a
I Made Out With My Best Man the Night Before My Wedding
I Made Out with My Best Man the Night Before My Wedding
The night before my wedding, Elias and I shared a bed as we had done many times before. But this particular night a cruel sadness hung over us. A sense of finality to it all. We both knew everything would change after this night. We knew there wouldn't be any more nights of cuddles and waking up beside each other; we knew this was the peak of our physical
The First Guy I Ever Cuddled With
The First Guy I Ever Cuddled With
Why didn't I have a friend like that to fulfill over two decades of touch-deprivation? Or was I even right to long for touch like that? Did that sort of touch between two men cross a line? Could two men cuddle without sinning or pushing
Sleeping with my Fiancee’s Bisexual Ex-Boyfriend Turned Me Straight?
We laughed long into the night. My fiancée and I lay on opposite sides of the van because we didn't want to wake up together until we were married. So, that left Jonathan facing me. I faced away from him because I was afraid. The last time I'd been this physically close to a man, I'd had sex with him. I was so
Anyone Else Feeling Super Tempted During COVID-19?
Anyone Else Feeling Super Tempted During COVID-19?
Anyone else feeling super tempted during this pandemic? Especially the longer this thing drags on? Because I'll be the first to raise my hand. I'm feeling super tempted. I'm feeling super restless. I'm actually feeling super-duper tempted and
How I Lost My Best Friend to Sex
How I Lost My Best Friend to Sex
My pursuit has not been one of sex, though it wormed its way into my story and convinced me otherwise. My longing has been for the genuine, reciprocated love of a man. A man to hold and be held by, a man to weep with, laugh with, live with. A covenant companion. I once thought such a thing was outside God's plan; praise God it
Longing for Intimacy with Straight Guy Friends
Longing for Intimacy with Straight Guy Friends
I just have a longing to be accepted, seen as a man among men. To feel like one of the guys. Yes, I've experienced those feelings with fellow "Side B" friends, but sometimes it only feels like one side of the