I've long heard a common refrain among fellow gay or SSA folks in the church, and it's something I've honestly never been able to relate with. That's not to put myself "above" others; it's just my reality. Many have tried to "pray the gay away," and I can't recall ever doing so. From a young age I felt a certain draw to the other boys, and while I felt shame for the lingering looks and daydreams, I never blamed God or even asked Him to take it away, add a splash of heterosexuality, or what have you.
I just have a longing to be accepted, seen as a man among men. To feel like one of the guys. Yes, I've experienced those feelings with fellow "Side B" friends, but sometimes it only feels like one side of the coin.
While I often complain about a lack of community, I also keep people at a distance. Only during this socially distant time of coronavirus have I realized something: maybe my community felt lacking because I wanted it to solve all my problems. And finding a community that felt authentic, one where I could be vulnerable, couldn't exist because I wasn't connected with Jesus.
I yearn to be held by a bigger, stronger man, to rest in his powerful arms, to lay my head on his chest. I ache for this; I dwell on this desire a lot. I suppose, given the nature of this website, my admission surprises approximately nobody. But it's hard to admit.
With most of the U.S. and much of the world in quarantine or shelter-in-place due to COVID-19, we gathered our featured authors for a conversation on the challenges and calls to growth through these strange times. We hope you feel a little less alone in joining our conversation.
The Covid-19 pandemic has become something of an "isolation equalizer." People everywhere are living in tension and isolation with businesses closed, services restricted, and life as we've known it ground to a halt. We are, all of us, isolated. And yet there is tremendous opportunity to unite in our shared isolation.
Tom welcomes back Marshall to toss the idea of his house of 15 people becoming the next TikTok "Hype House," Marshall’s father’s declining health in a nursing home during this coronavirus pandemic, and the process of acquiring furniture as adults. Tom also closes the episode with a little tribute to pastor and dynamic speaker, Sy Rogers, who passed away recently.
Before all the lockdowns started as the coronavirus pandemic spread around the world, I started writing this reflection about how my experience in the "Side B" bubble could play a bigger part in the Church and, in turn, the wider world around me. When this whole pandemic broke out I thought, What better time to play our part but now?
Tom welcomes first-timer Eugene to the podcast to talk about writing some of YOB's most engaging blogs, his artistic process, losing his job amid the coronavirus pandemic, and the invaluable connections he's made through YOB and other outlets in St. Louis: the Side B capital of the world!
Tom welcomes new-ish author, Daniel, to the YOB airwaves for the first time! Daniel shares about life in the UK during this coronavirus pandemic and how his family is doing in the Philippines. The guys also talk about how "Side B" folks are uniquely prepared for something like this pandemic and how our mission of loving God and loving people has never been clearer.