This Lent, I'm giving up masturbation. And I realize that might sound really wrong or off or like I clearly didn't grow up in a liturgical tradition and have no idea how this Lent thing even works. But regardless. I'm doing it. I'm not masturbating for the next few weeks. It may not quite be a "fast" by technical, theological terms. But it's a necessary refocusing.
How was I to respond to my friend's declaration? After everything that had happened in France, I felt even more confused about relationships and sexuality. My faith seemed in limbo, without much support from my summer community, so I didn't know where to put my friend in my life and understanding of faith.
Whenever I struggled, I sent my friend a message and he encouraged me. By all accounts, I started doing better with my depression. But that's how codependency can look at the start -- a "healthy" accountability relationship.
The guilt was overwhelming. How would I tell anybody what I had done? What would they think of me? Beyond other people, how would these events impact my faith? Where was Jesus during all of this?
I don't wonder to myself: Have I, as an adult, ever embraced another man shirtless like this before? This isn't that kind of intimacy.
It's our monthly lookback on all the blogs, podcasts, and videos from Your Other Brothers! What do you think of the new chair?! Don't get used to it. Also, do I drink weirdly?? Don't answer that.
Who is Jesus? What role does Jesus play in our stories and our struggles? Join Tom, Ryan, and first-timer Kevin for a long overdue discussion on the cornerstone of this entire community: Jesus. We talk about our individual beginnings with Jesus, our favorite Jesus stories, and how Jesus intersects our sexuality and masculinity.
It felt good to be close to another man. And yet, was it right (healthy, faithful, acceptable) to like this? Is this what acceptance in a physical sense felt like?
Just imagining myself joining this group on this trip brought up several anxieties: the fear of sharing, sleeping, and showering among so many other guys. I also had masculine insecurities about cleaning up after Hurricane Katrina along with the ability to share my faith. But God is bigger than my anxieties. And as I'd eventually learn, jumping into the unknown with God tends to be the best option.
It's our premiere episode of "State of the YOB," a recap of last month's blogs, podcasts, and video as I also bid a fond farewell to a dear, zero-legged friend.