After my friend started trusting me, he opened up more. And I began to wonder if he was same-sex attracted when he talked about not having a girlfriend.
He's an attractive cashier but he's more than just an attractive cashier. This attractive cashier personifies much of my struggle for the past 20 years.
Inwardly my friend seemed to be bravely fighting something. Maybe drugs and alcohol were just his misguided way of fighting whatever his inner baggage was.
It is difficult to be present with people you know will grow uninterested in you. It is difficult to develop friendships knowing your value is temporary.
Sometimes it’s as if "coming out" and getting rid of the wall between my same-sex attractions and the rest of me will somehow make my sexuality more real.
As I reflect on this new friendship, I begin to overanalyze. Have I replaced one best friend with another?
His confessions showed me the actual similarities between his substance abuse and my same-sex attractions.
I had destroyed our friendship by my unhealthy emotional dependence and demands for exclusive affection. He understandably ended our friendship.
Even with a better understanding of my SSA, he just couldn't take daily contact with me anymore. So, he told me he was moving out.
"Straight-baiting" has always fascinated me: the act of tricking a heterosexual individual to engage in homosexual activities.