There was a split in who I thought I was and who I was thought to be. I fought to be straight and prove to everyone nothing is wrong with me. I'm normal.
I do have gay friends, though I really don't view them as my gay friends. I just call them my friends. They're as important to me as my Christian friends.
My gay brother had been burned. What started as seemingly harmless sexual experiments ended as an out-of-control obsession that literally killed my brother.
My gay brother found out he was infected with an extremely aggressive form of HIV. Believing he was dying soon, my brother closed the office door and cried.
I told my best friend that I had literally just come from gay sex in another man's bed. I'd found him on the Internet, then regretted it. I needed support.
So often I lament my lifelong disconnect from the male species and my own innate lack of manhood, I tend to neglect or even forget the numerous times I have felt like a man.