temptation

My Aquarium of Sexual Desire
My Aquarium of Sexual Desire
How do I deal with unmet sexual desire? It's a question which led me to ask, what is my sexual desire? Of course, "sexual desire" is a category with a lot of things in it. "There's a lot of different fish in that bucket," I told myself. But let's not call it a bucket. Let's call it an aquarium so all the fish have plenty of room to swim around, and so we can get a good look at them.
Euphoric Recall: My Sexual Fantasies Named
Euphoric Recall: My Sexual Fantasies Named
Here's one vocabulary term I've taken away from therapy: euphoric recall. I'd never heard that phrase until last year, and it gives language to this nebulous internal struggle I've faced since my first bout with pornography at 19.
Three Tactics for Fighting Intrusive Sexual Thoughts
Three Tactics to Fight Sexually Intrusive Thoughts
For so many years I thought I was just dirty, lustful, and awful for thinking all these terrible sexual thoughts. I was filled with constant shame because the sexually intrusive thoughts kept coming. The realization that I can actually, with practice, redirect my own thoughts, is more freeing than I can write.
Your Other Brothers Podcast | 093: LGBT+ Media
YOBcast 093: LGBT+ Media
We have been blogging and podcasting a lot lately about gay characters or themes in various shows, films, and other media. Should we as Jesus-followers who may also identify as LGBT+ but also follow a traditional sexual ethic be consuming LGBT+ media? What are the potential benefits and costs, and where is the line between what is beneficial, acceptable, distracting, or harmful? How do we interact, if at all, with LGBT+ media? Join Tom, Ryan, and Aaron for this final (for now) discussion on the pros and cons and nuanced middle of LGBT+ media consumption!
Your Other Brothers ConvoCast • 040
YOB ConvoCast 040: Tom & Marshall Buy the Field! (and the Puppies!)
Tom welcomes back Marshall to catch us up on his pandemic-induced overworked, yet puppy-filled life on the farm! He shares what he has always enjoyed about our YOBBERS retreats and gives some context to his "bought the field" Xanga blog username of yesteryear. Finally, Marshall shares about one of his longtime single friends, now dating a girl, and the joy he finds as a "friend of the bridegroom."
A Single Gay Man Lost in the Crowd
Being gay has ruined large crowds for me. Something about being surrounded, seen but utterly unknown, twists my soul. And then add to that the layers of guilt I feel. All these couples I'm jealous of because they get to be here together. Or the number of attractive men I see, the number of times I don't control my lustful thoughts. Or worst of all: when I spot a gay couple somewhere out there, and I want to be them, and I wish I didn't.
The First Time I Downloaded a Gay Dating App
The First Time I Downloaded a Gay Dating App
I had tasted all these new intense bursts of touch in recent years, perhaps some healthy and others not so much, and during one isolating season I was desperate to share the warmth of masculine flesh again. I was having trouble making friends with other men, though...so where did I turn? To an app.
How Affirming Christians Burden Me
How Affirming Christians Burden Me
Many of us with same-sex attractions have experienced that well-meaning friend or family member who feels the need to "love us well" by telling us, "God made you gay, so how could marrying someone of the same sex be wrong?" I appreciate not being cast out by said people because of my sexuality, but they also seem unwilling to believe that I've actually given my sexuality some thought.
Rethinking Nudity and Cuddling with Other Men
Rethinking Nudity and Cuddling with Other Men
It's now been three to four years since I've written those blogs on cuddling and nudity, and I've shared many cuddles since with guys I've met through YOB. But have any of my thoughts changed since I wrote those posts?
To My Pastor: A Template to Help You Come Out to Church Leadership
To My Pastor: A Template to Help You Come Out to Church Leadership
The decision to come out (or not) is very personal. There exist many different methods of coming out, and our blog has already covered some of them. What follows is a template to give you a potential starting point for conversation with anyone in your church leadership. I write this as one who has had both positive and negative experiences coming out to church leadership. This template is designed in such a way that it could be left anonymously in a leader's mailbox to get him or her thinking, or as a conversation starter if you trust someone is ready to engage with you personally.
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