temptation

I Crushed on Him Before I Knew I Was Gay
I Crushed on Him Before I Knew I Was Gay
I met a friend named Rick at my first meeting of the Christian Student Ministry. We talked briefly at the meeting, and then more the next morning over breakfast. From those earliest moments with Rick, I felt all the feelings of a crush – though I didn't realize it at the time. While I obviously felt a physical attraction to this guy, I also felt an emotional, mental, and spiritual attraction that even now is difficult to explain.
Christmastime Cuddling and the Muddling of Touch
Christmastime Cuddling and the Muddling of Touch
How was this past Christmas reinvigorated for me? Well, this song helped clarify the good parts of my sexuality related to human touch, deeply rooted in the natural instinct common to all humans since birth. I was born with a longing to be comforted, to be held, to be swaddled, to be cuddled. As I've aged, those same good touch instincts were partially absorbed by my sexuality, and now they're muddled.
Free to Be Me: A First-Time YOBBER's Retreat Experience
Free to Be Me: A First-Time YOBBER’s Retreat Experience
Something else that astonished me over the weekend was how much like myself I felt; how proud I was to be seen in the company of my fellow queer brothers; how un-worried I was about what anybody else thought. That's not like me. At least not how I have been.
Inviting Jesus into the Messiness After the YOBBERS Retreat
Inviting Jesus into the Messiness After the YOBBERS Retreat
Going into this retreat, your boy was stressed. Stressed just from day-to-day existing. Looking back and evaluating my spiritual condition at the time, I could not slow down long enough to have one simple conversation with God. Long enough for my brain and my heart to catch up to each other.
Another Sexual Addiction Begins with Pornography
Another Sexual Addiction Begins with Pornography
I found myself getting sucked into a world of fantasy. Porn was way better than watching some blockbuster: I could still be with guys without actually being with them. After all, I never cared about those guys anyway. It was all about me and getting off. The more I watched porn, the more I was hooked.
That Time Another Side B Guy Sexted Me on Facebook Messenger
You know, after fifteen years of blogging about gay things and masculine things and all the other intermingled, messy faith things, I often feel like I've run out of stories to tell here. Gay kisses, wet dreams, fetishes – what on earth is there left to say?? Ah, but then I wake up one day and suddenly remember that time another "Side B" guy from a Facebook group asked if he could do something to my genitals. Ah, yes – a new story to tell. Glory be.
YOB ConvoCast 064: Marshall Prefers Not to Sexually Identify as Anything
YOB ConvoCast 064: Marshall Prefers Not to Sexually Identify as Anything
Marshall joins us as another "OG" contributor and cofounder of YOB to share his perspective on sexuality, why he doesn’t identify as gay or SSA despite only experiencing attraction for men. He also discusses a marriage conversation he once had with a woman he dated. He shares the time of his life that presented his greatest struggles with gay temptation, as well as the thing that’s brought him the most joy in his sexuality.
Why I'm Not Giving Up Masturbation for Lent
Why I’m Not Giving Up Masturbation for Lent
I'm not sure the "vulnerability hangover" has ever hit me as strongly with a blog as it did that one. It's been one thing to confess I'm attracted to men as a sort of "blanket confession" for all the world to see; it's another to invite people into the specific workings of my sexuality. Particularly with something as personal and hardly-talked-about as masturbation.
YOB ConvoCast 054: Tom & Marshall, Ever the Groomsmen, Never the Groom!
YOB ConvoCast 054: Tom & Marshall, Ever the Groomsmen, Never the Groom!
Tom welcomes back Marshall to talk about things DEFINITELY NOT related to the Enneagram whatsoever. Marshall catches us up with his busy life on the farm, including a major life update of a dear friend’s impending marriage. Marshall shares both the negative and positive emotions involved in this coming change to the friendship, including being asked to be a groomsman. He reads from John 3:29 and discusses his joy as a "friend of the bridegroom," and the guys discuss the effects of marriage on a mostly single/celibate community like YOB.
My Aquarium of Sexual Desire
My Aquarium of Sexual Desire
How do I deal with unmet sexual desire? It's a question which led me to ask, what is my sexual desire? Of course, "sexual desire" is a category with a lot of things in it. "There's a lot of different fish in that bucket," I told myself. But let's not call it a bucket. Let's call it an aquarium so all the fish have plenty of room to swim around, and so we can get a good look at them.
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