vulnerability

Your Other Brothers ConvoCast • 033
YOB ConvoCast 033: Tom & Nate Get Profane About Character Flaws!
In our season finale Tom welcomes back the "Steve Martin" of YOB podcast guests, Nate! Nate catches us up on life as a traveling artist with his giant suitcase of chalk, and he spearheads a conversation on profanity. How have our Christian upbringings impacted our approach to profanity, and is it ever okay for believers to use certain words? We also dive into character flaws and whether we can ever fully overcome those certain traits that come hardest for us. Finally, will Nate ever come back for another YOB podcast? Stay tuned for the season finale
Rethinking Nudity and Cuddling with Other Men
Rethinking Nudity and Cuddling with Other Men
It's now been three to four years since I've written those blogs on cuddling and nudity, and I've shared many cuddles since with guys I've met through YOB. But have any of my thoughts changed since I wrote those
Internalized Homophobia Returns: Coming Out to My Church Team Leader
Internalized Homophobia Returns: Coming Out to My Church Team Leader
Something came crashing into my mind when Peter asked me to be a team leader at church: a stream of familiar feelings, similar to the ones I felt the first time I had to come out. They were feelings of inadequacy; the line of thinking that I was in a somewhat state of sinfulness that compelled me to
How the Lord Is (Somehow) Healing My Marriage
How the Lord Is (Somehow) Healing My Marriage
I thought my first stories of marriage would be easy ones to tell. I thought I would say, "Hey, it all worked out! Everything's great! Praise God!" Instead, I felt a deeper pain than I'd ever felt. Until Jesus changed me, and my mourning turned to dancing. My brothers, I wish I had different words to tell you. I wish I could promise you healing without heartache, but it is not the story of healing I have to
To My Pastor: A Template to Help You Come Out to Church Leadership
To My Pastor: A Template to Help You Come Out to Church Leadership
The decision to come out (or not) is very personal. There exist many different methods of coming out, and our blog has already covered some of them. What follows is a template to give you a potential starting point for conversation with anyone in your church leadership. I write this as one who has had both positive and negative experiences coming out to church leadership. This template is designed in such a way that it could be left anonymously in a leader's mailbox to get him or her thinking, or as a conversation starter if you trust someone is ready to engage with you
Your Other Brothers ConvoCast • 028
YOB ConvoCast 028: Tom & Eugene Go to Cuddle Corner!
Tom welcomes back YOB’s resident artist and cuddling aficionado, Eugene, for a discussion on physical boundaries between friends. They reference both Tom’s latest blog on crossing boundaries and Eugene’s latest blog on the nature vs. nurture debate! Additionally, Tom reveals some behind the scenes magic for rectifying the technical snafu that happened during last year’s ConvoCast recording with Eugene. And the guys bounce around a new name for what to call someone who isn’t quite a YOBBER
The First Guy I Ever Crossed Physical Boundaries With
The First Guy I Ever Crossed Physical Boundaries With
I pictured him crying in his bed when he woke up that morning, or even going to bed crying right after leaving me; knowing I'd hurt him, knowing I'd been the one to cross physical boundaries. It destroyed me, if I'm
Coming Out to My Church Small Group
Coming Out to My Church Small Group
I'd spent a long time laboriously looking for a community to belong, and I'd finally found one. With this new community, though, came a growing fear – the fear of eventually being rejected. If they knew me, like really knew me, would they still want to be friends with me or even associate with me at all? If these people were to reject me for my sexuality, I thought, it would be better to experience that rejection now by just ripping off the bandage rather than going deeper into relationships that would only be taken away
Coming Out to My Parents as a Teenager
Coming Out to My Parents as a Teenager
A few days prior, I had sent my dad an email explaining that I was gay. I can't remember what all I said or how I said it, but looking back, that probably wasn't the best way to go about it. I was just too afraid to bring it up face to face; an email was easy to send. Hitting send on that coming out email to my dad felt like being pushed out of a plane: there was no turning back, and the parachute better well
When I Get Lost in My Loneliness
When I Get Lost in My Loneliness
Well, 2020 happened. And in this "unprecedented" year, a more personal disease revealed itself in me. Like Nouwen wrote, despite my being around people during a pandemic, I faced loneliness. My tendency to isolate combined with an actual, physical inability to connect with others made me look deeper into the why of my
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