My Battle with Male Body Image
I remember being envious of the other boys who seemed so free in their bodies, so free with their bodies. I remember being envious of their slenderness, and later on, their muscles. I remember lying in bed wishing so hard that I could wake up and be miraculously thin. I remember knowing that I shouldn’t hate my body but having no idea how to stop.
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Coming Out at College
College held the hope for a fresh start. Home meant the weight of my double-life: the pain of lying about porn and “everything is okay” all the time; the great friendships that never felt deep or authentic enough for my broken self.
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A Personal, Vulnerable Conversation
Henry and I had a great, heartfelt talk. But a realization hit me as we were talking: I don’t want to share this conversation with anyone else. What we talked about that day was personal. Vulnerable.
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Singleness in a Silhouette
We finished the day by taking silhouette pictures with the blazing orange-and-pink sky as our backdrop. My siblings lovingly kissed their spouses and lifted them up in the air as some of the most romantic and precious images I’d ever witnessed. I stayed to watch for a little while, knowing that no one would ask me if I wanted any pictures by myself. That would have been absurd, right? It didn’t take long for me to reach the end of what I could handle with my family. So, I ran away.
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Is YOB Going a New Direction?!
MANLY MONDAY returns after a month’s hiatus! Join me as I tackle the question (that used to be) on everybody’s (or a vocal few’s) minds (or not).
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Side B Friendships are Hard
It’s no secret that I have written extensively on the joys and blessings of SSA, gay, or Side B friendships. Indeed, these particular friendships have been incredible and moving experiences that I would not trade for anything in the world. But at the same time, let me be clear: maintaining Side B friendships with other guys can be HARD.
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YOBcast Episode 040: Change
Change happens to all of us. Relational change. Spiritual change. Seasons of life that take us to the redemptive mountaintops and valleys of shadows. Tom welcomes Ryan and Dean for our first episode back after a monthlong hiatus. It’s an episode of literal change with new sounds, new segments, and new features as we dive into a discussion on the most pivotal changes in our lives. We discuss our authors’ retreat weekend, the inaugural Revoice conference, our first 1-star iTunes review, Tom’s initial discovery of this Your Other Brothers community, Ryan’s journey with body image, Dean’s friendship with Tom’s younger brother, and more.
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A Challenge to Our YOB Readers
So, I’m gonna take a break from my usual stories to talk about something I’ve been observing in the recent posts and comments. The reason why we write about some topics, whether it be Dean’s complimenting the LGBT+ community, or our discussing Pride Month, or Will’s enjoying Queer Eye is because we see a need in the LGBT+ community for Jesus! The LGBT+ community is the only safe place where many gay people can be themselves, because we chased them there. We see that, but some here don’t want to admit it!
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Unearthing the Courage to Love
These men, their stories showed me the courage to love. The courage to love family and friends, whether they understand, accept us, or not. The courage to love and trust God even in the midst of confusion and lies. The courage to love myself.
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The Male Imprints Left On Us
When we give our hearts to people we are changed, even if they never give us their hearts in return. These effects aren’t scars — they don’t begin as wounds — and I wouldn’t call them baggage. They’re like paint splashes on our canvas hearts or imprints on our soft, clay souls.
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