vulnerability

The First Guy I Fell In Love With, and the Path Forward with Touch
The First Guy I Fell In Love With, and the Path Forward with Touch
He's the guy who has clarified my boundaries with cuddling and physical touch more than any other. The guy from whom I've sought comfort in touch more than any other. The guy who has made me feel seen and warm and laugh and cry like no other. He's the first (and to this point, only) guy I've fallen in love
Your Other Brothers Podcast | 094: Lent & Sexuality
YOBcast 094: Lent & Sexuality
It’s the sequel to Advent & Sexuality that nobody asked for! But here we are talking about Lent, this broader concept of sacrifice, and how this particular season ties together with our sexuality. Because where else can you get that kind of podcast content? Join Tom and the "Holy Crew" of Pastors Ben and Will for a discussion on the Lenten season in our last podcast before our virtual retreat later this month! Join us, won't
Cast Out of the Church for Being Gay
Cast Out of the Church for Being Gay
That was the third church to turn me away for being gay, even though I had never done anything inappropriate with anyone in the church. At that point, I was done! Done with God, done with Christians, done with church, done with praying, and done with the Bible. I threw every Bible I owned into a dumpster and decided to embrace a gay life even more than I had done previously. For four years, I had sex with as many guys as I could and didn't care. In my mind, since God and the church didn't care about me, why should
Let's Talk About Erections (Again)
Let’s Talk About Erections (Again)
Years ago a YOB post like this initially proved to me that this site had something new and interesting to offer the world. It made me feel seen and understood like almost nothing I had read before. That original post no longer exists here, and I've seen your emails wondering where it went and what frighteningly candid content you can instead send your friends. To answer my own self-doubts above: I believe this post will be valuable to someone. It's important. It's worth
What Masculine Strength Looks Like
What Masculine Strength Looks Like
Does nice equal good? Does strong equal toxic? Commiseration is a drink that intoxicates quickly, yet we must weep with those who weep. Am I a man? Am I strong? What am I, and where is my place? What is the nature of masculine
You Need to Do Better
You Need to Do Better
Living this life means recognizing that there are some hard elements to this journey – some of which may always be hard. If I can't make these things any less hard, then I need to have tools to stand up and continue forward, learning, growing, and changing, rather than get beaten down, stagnate, and cease to grow. I need methods to find peace and joy, even in pain. In my last post I said that my answer to thriving begins in Jesus, and I would add that it continues with Jesus as I work through the areas of my life that need attention, healing, growth, and change. In short, I needed to do
You Are Accepted Just as You Are
You Are Accepted Just as You Are
We get asked the why question so much because this life is hard. Being a Christian is hard; being LGBTQ+ is hard. Being both can be exhausting. And it may continue to be exhausting if we don't do the work to understand why it's hard and figure out how to keep
Disabled and Gay: Where Do I Go?
Disabled and Gay: Where Do I Go?
It seems one can find almost anything on the Internet nowadays, with the exception of a serious discussion about sexuality and disabilities; let me assure you, I have looked. It has been increasingly important to me (and certainly others in my plight) to find such information. I was born with cerebral palsy, along with the ability to ask questions apparently nobody is supposed to ask. Like most kids who grow up gay, I felt different on the inside; in my particular case, I was different on the outside
Your Other Brothers Podcast | 085: Pray Away
YOBcast 085: Pray Away
This summer Netflix released Pray Away, a documentary following the lives of former leaders of ex-gay ministries and survivors of conversion therapy. It's a heavy film, filled with heavy topics like abuse and self-harm. This may not be the podcast for you if it hits a bit close to home with your story. But if you watched the film and/or feel ready for our conversation on it, we hope this episode can be a blessing as we walk through the film's heaviness with
More Joy, More Vulnerability, More Connection
When we entered into some prayer over the camp and weekend, I felt a tightening within me. Walking the grounds and praying alone, I felt connected in a strange, yet familiar way to God. Something unexpected, something more was in store for me this weekend. Arrivals of the attendees brought all the joy and low-level chaos that accompanies forty brothers from across the country uniting for a weekend. Would I be able to reconnect with brothers I hadn't spoken to in months? How would I manage all the people I'd be meeting for the first time? What about the guys I found attractive? Would I even have the energy for this
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