YOB ConvoCast 065: Alex Explains His Two-Way Tension as a Bisexual ChristianYOB8 July 2023
Alex returns to discuss his sexual identity as a bisexual Christian in this “Spanning the Spectrum” ConvoCast series! Alex answers whether he’s felt like a “minority of a minority” in our YOB community, and he shares his long journey coming to terms with his bisexuality — both with himself and the Holy Spirit. He dispels the myth that he and all other bi people are 50-50 attracted both to men and women at all times and in all seasons of life. He shares why it isn’t necessarily “easier” being attracted to both sexes rather than exclusively attracted to the same sex as a Side B person. And we close the episode as Alex shares the joys and blessings of being a bisexual Christian, building an empathy for all kinds of people.
I’m YOB’s cofounder and editor, and I also host our two podcasts. I’ve written a couple books as Thomas Mark Zuniga, including a 2013 memoir in which I first came out. Once upon another universe I anonymously blogged about my faith and sexuality under the Xanga username, twoBeckonings. I’m an INFJ, Enneagram 4w5, and my spirit animal is the buffalo. I love to travel, and my favorite place in the world is the one where coffee and vulnerability meet. When I’m not wandering, I live in Asheville, North Carolina – the Jewel of the Blue Ridge.
Calling in from Los Angeles, the City of Angels! Originally from a quiet town in Georgia, I answered God’s call to leave the green forests of my youth. I am a bi, Thai-American Christian with an itch for adventure, a knack for writing, a forever gamer, and a love of all things 80’s (primarily music and movies). After coming to terms with my sexuality in 2014, I wanted to share the story of how God walked through this journey with me. Following His lead to be an active member of the Side B Christian community, I want to create a bridge between the LGBTQ+ community and the Church, where queer people can learn about the God who loves them.
I’m still in the early stages of navigating faith/sexuality. I would say as of now I’m bi leaning gay, or I just say I generally experience attraction/sexual desire to men but sometimes find myself looking at a girl/liking a girl but usually don’t have sexual desires towards women. Attraction includes romantic, physical, intellectual, emotional, etc. so sometimes people identify as bi or queer if they experience attraction towards both sexes in a different way (this is certaintly the case for me as well as for Alex it seems). It can be very confusing since I’m not sure if I am attracted to women enough to date them or if I’d ever really want to date women. Like Alex, the ratio of women:men can change over time but has generally shifted towards men for me. However sometimes I fall into a “bi-cycle” where sometimes I experience more attraction to women than usual. Within the queer community, sometimes there is pressure just to say you’re gay or be gay because I think people can have more empathy or understanding if you are completely SSA as opposed to being Bi which is more difficult to understand. Or people assume that because you experience OSA that you have no difficulties/struggles with SSA and wanting/preferring to be in a same-sex relationship. I would say my greatest joy is engaging with the queer community, learning to trust God and rest in his goodness, and gaining a new perspective on how queer issues are addressed in the church. The greatest struggle is trusting God and believing that He actually wants the best for me within the TSA (traditional sexual ethic). But ultimately believe that God’s plan is the best for all of us and am learning how to recieve God’s love and grace throughout this process.
I’m still in the early stages of navigating faith/sexuality. I would say as of now I’m bi leaning gay, or I just say I generally experience attraction/sexual desire to men but sometimes find myself looking at a girl/liking a girl but usually don’t have sexual desires towards women. Attraction includes romantic, physical, intellectual, emotional, etc. so sometimes people identify as bi or queer if they experience attraction towards both sexes in a different way (this is certaintly the case for me as well as for Alex it seems). It can be very confusing since I’m not sure if I am attracted to women enough to date them or if I’d ever really want to date women. Like Alex, the ratio of women:men can change over time but has generally shifted towards men for me. However sometimes I fall into a “bi-cycle” where sometimes I experience more attraction to women than usual. Within the queer community, sometimes there is pressure just to say you’re gay or be gay because I think people can have more empathy or understanding if you are completely SSA as opposed to being Bi which is more difficult to understand. Or people assume that because you experience OSA that you have no difficulties/struggles with SSA and wanting/preferring to be in a same-sex relationship. I would say my greatest joy is engaging with the queer community, learning to trust God and rest in his goodness, and gaining a new perspective on how queer issues are addressed in the church. The greatest struggle is trusting God and believing that He actually wants the best for me within the TSA (traditional sexual ethic). But ultimately believe that God’s plan is the best for all of us and am learning how to recieve God’s love and grace throughout this process.