attraction

The First Guy I Fell In Love With, and the Path Forward with Touch
The First Guy I Fell In Love With, and the Path Forward with Touch
He's the guy who has clarified my boundaries with cuddling and physical touch more than any other. The guy from whom I've sought comfort in touch more than any other. The guy who has made me feel seen and warm and laugh and cry like no other. He's the first (and to this point, only) guy I've fallen in love
Adrift as a Child or a Man
Adrift as a Child or a Man
I still have that Link costume somewhere in my closet. Perhaps it's the wandering through the woods that I love, the isolation, the music; or, perhaps it's something deeper that has stuck with me after all these years. Perhaps it's that I feel like the protagonist: adrift in time, unsure whether I'm a child or a man. This is how I feel as I move back into my childhood bedroom – the place where my sexual trauma
Gay vs. SSA: The Ultimate Sexuality Label Debate
Gay vs. SSA: The Ultimate Sexuality Label Debate
You're probably reading this thinking, "Oh boy, Eugene is going to settle this debate once and for all on which label is the right one to use!" Nope, that's not the case at all. The simple fact is that both sexuality labels have their benefits, but both are simultaneously problematic. I want to look at both labels and weigh the pros and cons of
More Joy, More Vulnerability, More Connection
When we entered into some prayer over the camp and weekend, I felt a tightening within me. Walking the grounds and praying alone, I felt connected in a strange, yet familiar way to God. Something unexpected, something more was in store for me this weekend. Arrivals of the attendees brought all the joy and low-level chaos that accompanies forty brothers from across the country uniting for a weekend. Would I be able to reconnect with brothers I hadn't spoken to in months? How would I manage all the people I'd be meeting for the first time? What about the guys I found attractive? Would I even have the energy for this
How the Lord Is (Somehow) Healing My Marriage
How the Lord Is (Somehow) Healing My Marriage
I thought my first stories of marriage would be easy ones to tell. I thought I would say, "Hey, it all worked out! Everything's great! Praise God!" Instead, I felt a deeper pain than I'd ever felt. Until Jesus changed me, and my mourning turned to dancing. My brothers, I wish I had different words to tell you. I wish I could promise you healing without heartache, but it is not the story of healing I have to
We Need a New Masculine Narrative
We Need a New Masculine Narrative
When we talk about masculinity, we usually talk like it is something we need to become, instead of something we already are. I think we need to introduce a new masculine narrative: a new narrative that is actually an old one, formed by
Nature vs. Nurture: Was I Born This Way?
Nature vs. Nurture: Was I Born This Way?
It's only human nature to ask these questions of nature vs. nurture. The seeming injustice and sheer unfairness of our sexualities can feel torturous. It seems cruel that we're so different in a way that society considers taboo and the church considers downright
To My Significant Other: A Template to Help You Come Out to Her
To My Significant Other: A Template to Help You Come Out to Her
I am attracted to other men. At this point, you might be shocked, scared, angry, or confused. Please allow me to affirm a few truths before I continue. I love Jesus, I believe in a traditional/biblical sexual ethic, and I am pursuing holiness before the Lord in my sexuality. I love you and want to walk well with you. I want you to know this about me so you can see me, love me, and walk well with me, and so I am not holding back pieces of my life from
The Danger of Modesty Talks for Men and Women
The Danger of Modesty Talks for Men and Women
In both youth groups and camp ministry, I received the modesty talk on countless occasions. They all had the same basic outline. Our bodies are a temple; we need to keep the temple pure. Anything sexual outside of marriage will dirty the temple. Men are lustful and visual creatures. Women are not as visual and do not deal with lust. I accepted this teaching wholesale. I knew that I was visual, saw my sexuality as a dirty thing, and kept on trying to fight back lust. But I began to notice some problems with modesty
This Yearning for Men
This Yearning for Men
We yearn for men. We yearn for specific men. We yearn for abstract, unspecified men. We yearn for men in general. We yearn for men to yearn for other men. Sometimes we yearn for men's bodies, sometimes for their hearts, sometimes for their souls. We yearn for brothers. We yearn for boyfriends or husbands. Some of us yearn for fathers, some of us yearn for sons. We yearn to encounter, to access, and to drink deeply of the raw, earthy-sweet, intoxicating, powerful substance of masculinity. To be welcomed into it, to be wanted into
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