Tag: attraction
Longing for Intimacy with Straight Guy Friends
I just have a longing to be accepted, seen as a man among men. To feel like one of the guys. Yes, I’ve experienced those feelings with fellow “Side B” friends, but sometimes it only feels like one side of the coin.
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This Secret Longing to be Held by a Stronger Man
I yearn to be held by a bigger, stronger man, to rest in his powerful arms, to lay my head on his chest. I ache for this; I dwell on this desire a lot. I suppose, given the nature of this website, my admission surprises approximately nobody. But it’s hard to admit.
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The First Same-Sex Attracted Christian Man I Met
I enjoyed telling him my story and my struggles with faith and sexuality. I could talk to him about my failings and slip-ups and didn’t feel any judgment or disapproval. I talked to him about my deep loneliness, longing for brotherhood and friendships – to be accepted by other men and yet met with rejection or cold indifference. It felt liberating talking to someone about this stuff for the first time.
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Do I Still Pray the Gay Away?
When they hear I’m attracted to men but married to a woman, straight people, particularly Christians, sometimes ask if I expect my attractions to “change” in this life. For the longest time, I prayed for God to change my attractions. To make me straight. I do still pray about my sexuality, but I don’t pray that God would change my attractions to heterosexual.
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Why You Should Pursue “Side B” Community
Our community is like a family. These past few years I’ve grown such a huge family, far beyond my biological one. It’s like I have cousins and, yes, brothers living in cities all over the world – family who would offer me a couch if ever I passed through town. That is an incredible feeling.
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“Coming Out” of the Country: Learning Who God Is
It was an unfamiliar city on the other side of the world, and not one soul knew who I was and what I was about. For the first time in my life I felt free, unrestricted to do anything and be anything I wanted to be. What will I do? Where will I go? Where will God take me? Who’s God again?
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Fruit of the Spirit: A Queer Man’s Journey for 2020
My queerness is a part of me. And my desire is to submit my whole self to Christ. Thus, why would I not hold up my sexuality to the fruit of the Spirit to test it? Perhaps I may see where my sexuality rails against the Spirit. Or perhaps I may see where the Spirit shines its attributes through my queer identity.
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Naked and Unashamed in the Locker Room
For the longest time I felt afraid about the locker room setting. Part of my fear and shame came from body-image issues, as I was the “fat kid” most of my life. Part of my fear also came from my same-sex attraction – the fear for potential arousal. I was curious how the other guys looked but also ashamed and scared to be around them or be seen in my nakedness.
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Coming Out and Confessing to My Pastor
He was sitting there waiting for me, like usual. My pastor asked if I was okay, though he knew I wasn’t. He could tell I was an emotional wreck, that I needed to get some stuff off my chest. I felt numb, this deep despair inside me, like all my energy had escaped me. I only had enough to meet with him on this particular day.
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I’m Just Not That Into Physical Touch Anymore
I actually find myself decreasingly needing — or even desiring — touch with other men. It’s not completely gone, mind you. But the need/desire is considerably less. This is a fairly new development. I’m still unpacking the reasons, but I have some theories based on how my male friendships have transpired the last decade — many of them imploding.
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