Tag: attraction

So I Kinda Sorta Have an Asexual Side?

Don’t get me wrong, I am completely and utterly attracted to men. I’ve never been attracted to a woman in my life. And yet my attraction to the same sex doesn’t go quite as far as many others’ do. Ultimately, I just have no desire for sex with other men even though I’m attracted to them.

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I’ve Never Tried to Pray the Gay Away

I’ve long heard a common refrain among fellow gay or SSA folks in the church, and it’s something I’ve honestly never been able to relate with. That’s not to put myself “above” others; it’s just my reality. Many have tried to “pray the gay away,” and I can’t recall ever doing so. From a young age I felt a certain draw to the other boys, and while I felt shame for the lingering looks and daydreams, I never blamed God or even asked Him to take it away, add a splash of heterosexuality, or what have you.

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The First Same-Sex Attracted Christian Man I Met

I enjoyed telling him my story and my struggles with faith and sexuality. I could talk to him about my failings and slip-ups and didn’t feel any judgment or disapproval. I talked to him about my deep loneliness, longing for brotherhood and friendships – to be accepted by other men and yet met with rejection or cold indifference. It felt liberating talking to someone about this stuff for the first time.

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Do I Still Pray the Gay Away?

When they hear I’m attracted to men but married to a woman, straight people, particularly Christians, sometimes ask if I expect my attractions to “change” in this life. For the longest time, I prayed for God to change my attractions. To make me straight. I do still pray about my sexuality, but I don’t pray that God would change my attractions to heterosexual.

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