We conclude the Heart Triad portion of our Enneagram ConvoCast series with a returning guest and member of our community, Alex! Both Alex and Tom share their motivations, fears, stress, and security as a Type Four (the Individualist or Romantic). As members of our YOB community, how does their Four-ness manifest in the realms of sexuality, masculinity, and relating with other men?

Tom and Alex discuss the qualities they love about being Fours: artistic, empathetic, and yes, unique. In times of security they’re objective and productive, taking action and creating things that add beauty to the world. A Four’s “superpower” is empathy, giving others permission to “feel all the feels” with them, too. Tom and Alex also dive into their dark side of Four-ness: the neediness, the manipulation, the constant craving for approval, particularly from other men. Fours are often described as people who perceive lacking a critical “missing piece,” and as queer or SSA men this hits especially deep for Tom and Alex. In adolescence did they miss some critical component for masculinity or sexuality, along with connecting with the other boys? What is the path forward for a Four in those whirlwinds of emotional stress?

Listen to our full Enneagram conversation, and be sure to follow us these last few weeks as we finish dialing around the Enneagram with each type in our community!



Are you an Enneagram Four? How have you grown as a Four in relation to your sexuality and masculinity?


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