It's easier to remain in the cage even when you can leave, because it's familiar. It's normal. It's hard to ask others for help. It's hard to just...be. Alone. In your own skin.
Dawson returns to help us close our At Home series! Tom takes the show on the road to Athens, Georgia, where he once lived for 11 years, to share an in-person conversation with Dawson, who has lived in this city for all 31 of his years. Why did Tom leave home all those years ago, and why has Dawson stayed? Has this same city been a consistent refuge for Dawson, or have there been some darker times, even times where he thought he might leave this only home he's ever known? Both Dawson and Tom live alone, and they share the joys of their homes serving as solitary refuges, as well as the dangers of falling into self-isolation.
Nhat makes his debut appearance! We celebrate his 1-year YOBiversary as he tells us his “at home” story of being married to his wife of the last four years. He shares the challenges of merging his wife’s family dynamic and his own into one new family and home, as well as the joys of complimenting one another and yearning for a better home together. We also dive into Nhat’s childhood as a “PK” or pastor’s kid and how that has impacted his faith journey, including his coming out experience at 21. How did coming out affect his parents, particularly his father, in an Asian culture often marked by honor and shame?
Andrew returns to tell the tale of his cross-country move from Ohio to Southern California! What led him to leave the only home he’d ever known to find a new one? He shares about his upbringing in the Midwest, including many years of homeschooling, and a friend who prompted him to ponder the possibility of a new start. Andrew basks in the literal and existential sunshine of his new life in SoCal, talking about his new queer community and an accepting church that makes him feel at home in his faith and sexuality. But what of his masculinity? Where does and doesn't he feel quite "at home" in that arena?
Not quite finishing the bike race hurts way beyond this strain in my shoulder. And "not quite" feels like such a metaphor for my masculinity.
Matt returns to discuss his home life: always living with his family even as he enters his late thirties! He explains the importance of family within his Navajo culture, sharing why he enjoys regularly going home to the reservation after moving away from it. But Matt also shares why he doesn’t disclose anything about his sexuality with his conservative family. Despite this withholding, Matt feels at home with his churches and friends, particularly his male friends, claiming he’s never felt more masculine and comfortable in his body than he does now. Will he always live with family, or does he aspire for another living situation in the future?
Simon joins the show from faraway Britain as our first native UK YOBBER! He tells us about his life in Oxfordshire, including a cat and his very own "flat." Tom bonds with Simon over their shared experiences in Oxford, including the very same bedroom. Simon gives us a lovely list of Britishisms, including the definition of a "yob." He also shares some of his story with faith and sexuality, enlightening us about Side B life from a non-American country. We also have an exciting update on the European YOBBERS retreat taking place later this year!
I learned that it wasn't safe for me to talk about or process through any of this struggle. Not at this church. And that is just what I did for the rest of high school. I didn't talk about my sexuality with anyone at that church again.
I met a friend named Rick at my first meeting of the Christian Student Ministry. We talked briefly at the meeting, and then more the next morning over breakfast. From those earliest moments with Rick, I felt all the feelings of a crush – though I didn't realize it at the time. While I obviously felt a physical attraction to this guy, I also felt an emotional, mental, and spiritual attraction that even now is difficult to explain.
First-time guest Andrew joins Tom to discuss Netflix’s "Heartstopper"! It’s a queer coming-of-age show that many in our YOB community have enjoyed, though its depictions of queer romance could also be distracting for some (nothing sexual in the first two seasons, just lots of same-sex kissing). We discuss what we loved from the characters in romantic pairings to the loyal friendships that ultimately reinforce this show. We devote our remaining time to the show’s lone asexual character as two people in YOB who identify as asexual ourselves. What did we resonate with in this character, and where was the disconnect?