Coming Out at College

College held the hope for a fresh start. Home meant the weight of my double-life: the pain of lying about porn and “everything is okay” all the time; the great friendships that never felt deep or authentic enough for my broken self.

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Singleness in a Silhouette

We finished the day by taking silhouette pictures with the blazing orange-and-pink sky as our backdrop. My siblings lovingly kissed their spouses and lifted them up in the air as some of the most romantic and precious images I’d ever witnessed. I stayed to watch for a little while, knowing that no one would ask me if I wanted any pictures by myself. That would have been absurd, right? It didn’t take long for me to reach the end of what I could handle with my family. So, I ran away.

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YOBcast Episode 040: Change

Change happens to all of us. Relational change. Spiritual change. Seasons of life that take us to the redemptive mountaintops and valleys of shadows. Tom welcomes Ryan and Dean for our first episode back after a monthlong hiatus. It’s an episode of literal change with new sounds, new segments, and new features as we dive into a discussion on the most pivotal changes in our lives. We discuss our authors’ retreat weekend, the inaugural Revoice conference, our first 1-star iTunes review, Tom’s initial discovery of this Your Other Brothers community, Ryan’s journey with body image, Dean’s friendship with Tom’s younger brother, and more.

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My Jesus Journey Leads Me Here

Call it a “new direction” or a clearer translation of what YOB has been from the start: a community desperate for Jesus. My 31-year Jesus journey leads me here. Wherever “here” is. Broken on the floor. Echoes of the past ringing in my ears. Doubts for the future always shadowing my vision no matter how many tears I blink away.

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A Challenge to Our YOB Readers

So, I’m gonna take a break from my usual stories to talk about something I’ve been observing in the recent posts and comments. The reason why we write about some topics, whether it be Dean’s complimenting the LGBT+ community, or our discussing Pride Month, or Will’s enjoying Queer Eye is because we see a need in the LGBT+ community for Jesus! The LGBT+ community is the only safe place where many gay people can be themselves, because we chased them there. We see that, but some here don’t want to admit it!

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Finding Hope for Relationships and Hope in Jesus

During our inaugural YOBBERS retreat, all attendees were assigned to one of five small groups (“tribes”) whose weekend discussions would focus on each of our five YOB values: hope, humility, brotherhood, courage, and vulnerability. Three of our authors were assigned to the Hope Tribe, along with seven other men. What follows is a conversation sharing some of what we learned that weekend: hope in relationships and hope in Jesus.

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Why I Like “Queer Eye”

The vast majority of “Queer Eye” is not even addressing sex; it is addressing prejudice, shame, and loneliness. I have experienced shame, the idea that I am simply unlovable. I even believed for many years that God hated me, that God himself couldn’t even love me.

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