hope

Faithfulness is the Worst Fruit of the Spirit
Faithfulness is the Worst Fruit of the Spirit
Faithfulness is being beaten to a bloody, messy pulp and still saying, "God, I trust you." Faithfulness is f–ing hard s–. And it has hurt me deeply this year – deeper than I ever imagined
Sleeping with my Fiancee’s Bisexual Ex-Boyfriend Turned Me Straight?
We laughed long into the night. My fiancée and I lay on opposite sides of the van because we didn't want to wake up together until we were married. So, that left Jonathan facing me. I faced away from him because I was afraid. The last time I'd been this physically close to a man, I'd had sex with him. I was so
When My Plans Get Disrupted
When My Plans Get Disrupted
Twice within the span of a year, my passion and my future was taken from me. The future I strove for changed without my permission. The ways I influenced and encouraged others –
How Can I Be Good?
How Can I Be Good?
I am fallen. Identity in Christ aside, I am still in a body of sin and death, as Paul said. I fight a fallen flesh every single day. How can I be good? How can goodness be a fruit of
Dear Younger Me: Jesus Loves All of You
Dear Younger Me: Jesus Loves All of You
The latest song to get me spiritually musing is "Dear Younger Me" by the band, MercyMe. The premise of the song is thinking through what one would tell his younger self if he ever got the chance. Would it be some cheesy speech about enjoying every moment to its fullest? Would he warn himself of all the mistakes to come, even though those mistakes are now inseparable from the man he became? What would he say? What would I say to a younger
Anyone Else Feeling Super Tempted During COVID-19?
Anyone Else Feeling Super Tempted During COVID-19?
Anyone else feeling super tempted during this pandemic? Especially the longer this thing drags on? Because I'll be the first to raise my hand. I'm feeling super tempted. I'm feeling super restless. I'm actually feeling super-duper tempted and
The YOBcast 064: Celibacy
It only took us 64 episodes to talk about celibacy! Join Tom, Ryan, and Jacob for a discussion on sex, singleness, marriage, healthy sexuality, and this mystical notion of "calling." How many of us feel "called to
The Church vs. the LGBTQ+ Community: A More Compelling Narrative?
The Church vs. the LGBTQ+ Community: A More Compelling Narrative?
I feel my Christian community lacking and also the LGBTQ+ community lacking. What is one supposed to do? I think we Christians who are LGBTQ+/SSA can and must push a more compelling narrative – one rooted in the Bible. The church is for all who are repentant, not just the straight ones who are
I've Never Tried to Pray the Gay Away
I’ve Never Tried to Pray the Gay Away
I've long heard a common refrain among fellow gay or SSA folks in the church, and it's something I've honestly never been able to relate with. That's not to put myself "above" others; it's just my reality. Many have tried to "pray the gay away," and I can't recall ever doing so. From a young age I felt a certain draw to the other boys, and while I felt shame for the lingering looks and daydreams, I never blamed God or even asked Him to take it away, add a splash of heterosexuality, or what have
How Waiting With Hope is Teaching Me Patience
How Waiting With Hope is Teaching Me Patience
I desire so greatly to be in heaven in the presence of my God and Savior. Yet I still wait. And wait. Every day with a reminder of my imperfections through a fallen world, broken relationships, and a scarred gender identity. Every day I long for Christ's return. Is this how I live out patience as a queer
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