The concept of celibacy has been on my mind for the last several days, so this episode came at the perfect time for me. And it was a great discussion, as always.
When you were talking about the conversation Jesus had with his disciples, if it might be better to just not marry at all, I couldn’t help but think of something Johanna Finegan said at Revoice a couple years ago. In her talk she suggested that those gay or SSA people considering marriage to someone of the opposite sex should ask themselves this question: “Am I able to be a gift to this person—who they are, their personality, their temperament, their needs? Could I, with all that I’ve got going on, be a gift to them.“ And later she states: “There is nothing weak and unmanly about declining to marry a woman because you sense that marriage to you would not be a gift to her, that you could not love her as she longs to be loved. That is Christ-like preferring another to yourself.“
I love her use of the word gift here. Could I truly be a gift to a woman in marriage? I like to believe that I’m open to either celibacy or marriage, whatever God should call me to, but I honestly don’t think that I have a desire to be married at all. I am currently very content and satisfied in my current singleness, and I’m hopeful that I can continue to build strong, healthy relationships with others to fulfill my human longing for connection, in whatever form that may take. Does this mean I feel a call to celibacy? I’m not sure. For now I’m living the way Jacob described, I’m single today, so I will strive to be celibate today.
Also, #TeamJacob

Hey y’all! I was listening to this episode, and you guys touched on a lot of different things that directly relate to my life, so I felt the need to share a bit.
First off, calling. Calling is a very difficult word for Christian folks, because we tend to think of it like Paul’s Macedonian call or Samuel’s calling. But, this is rarely the case. I have been heavily involved in missions work, and let me tell you I’m called to cross-cultural ministry in some way. Did I hear the voice of God regarding that? No. But, every time I find myself working cross-culturally, I flourish. In this regard, I’m called to missions.
With regard to celibacy, however, I really love what Jacob said about being called to it for this day. Again, I’ve never had a supernatural moment where the Lord directly told me to pursue celibacy. But, it is where I currently find myself, so I am called to it.
Another aspect of calling to consider is from a spiritual disciplines perspective. As my mentor once told me, “We are called to different spiritual disciplines for a season.” For instance, I was called to Lectio Divina for a season. When that season of two months closed, I moved on to contemplative prayer, a discipline I still engage in five months later. If it helps anybody in the “open” category of celibacy calling, you can think of celibacy as a spiritual discipline. In this way, you are called to celibacy for this current season, however long or short that may be. If and when God closes that season, then you are called to marriage.
Second, the reference to Yoda made me immediately wish all celibate folks could walk around in Jedi robes. We would stick out like sore thumbs, but at least people would know and respect that we’re celibate like when married people wear rings. Perhaps Pair of Thieves would make them? In all seriousness though, I’ve considered buying myself a celibacy ring. We’ll see if that ever actually happens.
Lastly, expressing your sexuality as a celibate queer Christian. That can be a very difficult thing to figure out. I’m in the learning process of that now. Ryan’s explanation of pursuing friends was very helpful for me in understanding this. At the same time, I think it’s possible to express our sexualities through art or music or other hobbies. In a way, everything we do becomes queer, simply because we are queer. (Ok, maybe not wearing camo, but that’s the one exception)
Anyways, thanks you guys for this episode! It was really good.

I’m only close to being 20 so I don’t really have much to say about living the celibate life. However, I have wrestled with these questions in my head in dedicating my life in singleness for the glory of God. I’m not in any way attracted to women though in some strange way, I can acknowledge their beauty. But I am open to pursuing a life of marriage if the possiblility allows. On the other hand, I can see a fulfilling life in singleness with the example of Paul and our greatest proof in Christ. I can definitely see more opportunities to serve in ministry as a celibate believer while acknowledging the blessings that come with becoming a husband and/or father. I just have to remind myself that it is not I, but Christ who ultimately chooses how I will live out my life. In the meantime, I hope and pray that I would fully live out my life to the glory of God whether in singleness or in marriage. Praying for you all always!