Welcome back to another episode of #MANLYMONDAY! Our bimonthly/semimonthly video series for Your Other Brothers. This week, I dive into goals and goal-setting. It’s a winding journey of success and failure in matters of sexual temptation and otherwise.

One little word, try, can prove fatal. I talk about making the switch from TRY to another, more personally beneficial three-letter word.

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OUR VERSE FOR THIS WEEK

Philippians 1:6 (ESV) —

“And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.”

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DISCUSSION

How have you struggled with feeling like a failure? How you can make the switch from TRY to AIM on a daily basis?

  • I absolutely LOVE “Picturing Men”! I first got it from my University Library and read it and I can say it really shaped my views on cuddling/physical touch and whatnot. I hope you read it and enjoy it.

  • Tom,
    I really love and appreciate the distinction that you made between using the word “try” vs “aim”. That honestly never occurred to me but it makes complete sense. Like you, I tend to overuse the word “try” when setting both physical and spiritual goals for myself and that is something I really should get out of the habit of as well. “Try” insinuates that if you attempt and you fail, that’s it you’re done. I like the word “aim” because it helps us to not be discouraged when we fail or don’t measure up to quite what we anticipated. Instead of saying “well I tried” I can merely tell myself “let’s refocus and think about what to do differently.” That is a much more positive and motivational message.

    • Eliminating TRY from my diet has been the most subtle yet pivotal of changes. I stop myself all the time when I say it now, recognizing the feebleness of the word almost instantaneously. Better to aim our eyes on something good and worthy and noble than to try…whatever that even means. Hope this can help you in your own journey, James.

  • I often feel like a failure in things that require prolonged, repeated discipline over a long period of time. Also known as “faithfulness” I guess! I can screw up the discipline to stay on top of something for 6 weeks, after which SUPPOSEDLY habits are formed, but I’ve yet to form a habit intentionally. It doesn’t really ever seem to get easier.
    I like the idea to “aim” instead of “try.” One thing I try–I MEAN, AIM–to do along those lines is to go into each day with 1-5 “Non-Negotiables” to get done by the time I go to bed. They can be as simple as to text So-And-So who I’m supposed to be pursuing to schedule a coffee meeting, or they can be as big as replacing a faucet in my house. But usually if I don’t tell myself “I HAVE to get this done today” it doesn’t happen! (Watching Manly Monday was a non-negotiable for today, and here I am!)
    I also like your strategy of two alarms, between which you pray and get your thoughts about the day in order. I would like to give that a try!

    • Give the alarm thing a “try” and let me know how it goes! It’s been helpful to frame my day with those aims.
      Non-negotiables. I like that. I may borrow that for myself.

  • TMZ, you are quite a riot. I love listening to you. You’re such a natural in presenting things.
    That being said, I really am disappointed that you staunchly maintain the use of the term “bi-monthly”. Humph!
    “Try” really is a lame term, when you think about it. It’s kinda freighted with the sense of half-heartedness, isn’t it? For my part, I like the Biblical concept of making vows to God. There are things that I fully committed to God in prayer and told Him I would never do again by His grace and if He would help me. And I found His strength and grace sufficient in the thickest and hottest battles. I think, by placing the burden of my help upon Him, it took the focus off of me and my weaknesses, and any time I was tempted thereafter, I would remember the vows I made and that God is true to His trust and His word. That always has helped me be an overcomer.
    What we tell ourselves is important in the Christian life. If we give ourselves room, the flesh will take it. If I am constantly remininding myself how weak I am, then the tempter will add weight to that thought, and the opportunity for falling intensifies. I’m not talking about the power of positive thinking or something nebulous like that. I mean we become most often what we believe we are.
    So, brethren, I have given all trying over. By God’s grace and with His help, I am more than conqueror.

    • I live for the riot. Appreciate the affirmation, Kirk! I enjoy my ~bimonthly~ presentations of things.
      Love the “more than conquerors” reference. If ever we could lay down our trying, that’s the verse with which to do it.

  • The only thing I don’t have to try to do is overuse “try”. Ugh, guilty beyond belief.
    Anyway, great video this week. Love the focus on aiming for more in our spiritual lives. It’s amazing how a simple word change can impact one’s perspective so much. Will aim to adjust this in the future.

    • Words are powerful! I feel like I’m only just now realizing this despite using them my whole life and making something of a career out of them the last decade.
      Let’s aim as one, brother.

  • Thomas Mark Zuniga

    When I don't wander away for weeks at a time, I live in Asheville, North Carolina – the Jewel of the Blue Ridge. I'm YOB's cofounder and editor, and I also host our two podcasts. I've written a couple books, including a 2013 memoir in which I came out to my readers. Once upon another universe I anonymously blogged about my faith and sexuality under the Xanga username "twoBeckonings." I'm an INFJ, Enneagram 4w5, and my spirit animal is the buffalo. My favorite place in the world is the one where coffee and vulnerability meet.

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