After my straight friend Brandon’s girlfriend broke up with him, we had many conversations about dating and relationships and marriage. He had difficulty understanding the strength of my attraction to other guys and how weakly I felt anything sexual or romantic toward girls.

Brandon urged me to consider dating a girl; because I trusted him, I seriously thought it through.

Up until then I had mostly believed I would remain single for life, a belief based on my study of 1 Corinthians 7. When spiritually strong, I wanted to remain single. But on weaker days, I started wondering about marrying a woman.

I would look and feel more “normal” if married. I would definitely fit into the Christian world better.

So, I decided to try out dating a girl.

Sarah was my closest female friend, one of the most spiritually strong Christians I knew, and she had many female friends who looked up to her. I had also heard several guys comment on her good looks. Because I already loved her as a friend, I knew I’d only ever really consider dating her.

Sarah is likely a Myers-Briggs ENFP personality, and I’ve somehow always had an affinity for ENFPs…

When I asked her out, Sarah gladly said yes.

After dating for about six months, I felt the friendship and relationship going great, and I had high hopes for experiencing a deeper attraction to Sarah.

Still, I also felt a growing uneasiness — a feeling I described to Brandon “like my first day at a new school where nothing was familiar.” I had emotional pain and a sense of foreboding inside.

Brandon laughed and responded, “That is just fear. Act like a man, take courage, and keep going despite that fear.”

He and all my other friends kept encouraging me to press forward through the relationship. I loved them, and I appreciated all they were saying; so, I decided to take the next step.

I would bring up the topic of marriage with Sarah.

To be continued . . .

Tell us about your first experience dating the opposite sex. Did it feel natural, or did you feel like a fish out of water? Did your attraction grow and turn into marriage, or did the dating relationship stagnate and disappear?

* Photo courtesy N Medd, Creative Commons.

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